Unimagine
by SebastianMichaelis21
Summary: Sebastian is a senior in high school, Bullied his entire life, Sebastian has closed himself off to his peers, choosing to be alone But what happens when Sebastian becomes the target of a new bully? And what happens when Sebastian develops feelings for this bully? (Nerdy SebastianxBully Claude)
1. Introduction

**~I want to add a TRIGGER WARNING to this story! This story could be triggering for Self-Harm, Eating Disorders and Depression! Please be aware of this when you read it! ~**

***I do not own Kuroshitsuji, or any of the characters. The original story and characters belong to the lovely Yana Toboso. I also do not own the idea of Nerdy Sebastian/Bully Claude, the idea/art belongs to Jon Lock.**

***I also want to add that the high school in this story is completely made up. There is no high school in downtown Seattle. However the other places I mention are real. ^.^**

* * *

The cool breeze coming up off Puget Sound swirls my already messy hair around as I slowly walk to school. My green backpack bounces on my back with each step as I stare dead ahead, avoiding eye contact with the bums lining the businesses or the pedestrians passing me on their way to work. Today was the first day of school, the first day of my senior year- and saying I wasn't looking forward to it, would be an understatement.

A sigh slips between my lips as I stop at the crosswalk, waiting for the 'walk' sign.

I had decided to wear brown khaki's, the yellow button-down my aunt had purchased for me as well as my favorite salmon colored cardigan. I was well aware that these clothes wouldn't make me 'popular', and that I wasn't likely to get any dates, however none of this concerned me. "I don't care about making friends, I just want to graduate.." I mutter as the crosswalk turns white.

I follow the hoard of busy businessmen and women to the other side of the street. Their suits and fancy clothes made me uncomfortable and I couldn't help but feel judged for being a high school student, even though that logically didn't make sense.

Another harsh breeze rips through the air, I shiver as I pull the sleeves of my cardigan down over my hands to hide them from the wind. I feel the fresh wounds on my arm get caught on the fabric slightly causing a frown to form on my lips. I hated school the most because it was difficult to hide my secrets there, getting out of dressing in PE was difficult last year, and I was positive it would prove to be a challenge yet again- this year.

I bring my gaze up towards the clear blue sky, watching the clouds slowly float by as they reflect their beauty in the windows of the many skyscrapers which tunneled my view of the sky on both sides.

My high school is located in Pioneer Square of Downtown Seattle, Pioneer Square is a beautiful part of town during the day, however at night it was most definitely a place to avoid. I loved this city, honestly, However I didn't like the cold weather which seemed to refuse to leave sometimes.

I look straight ahead again as the school slowly comes into view. Nestled on it's own little block surrounded by strategically planted cherry blossom trees and random shrubbery, It was a beautiful sight really.

The school itself was somewhat new, it had been built only a few years ago to accommodate the growing population as more people moved here to enjoy the 'beautiful' scenery Seattle had to offer. I study the building that I had been attending for the past four years, it hadn't changed a single bit. A three-story, red bricked school building. The words "Seattle Central High School' engraved on a large, white marble plaque above the entry way which was merely a large arch with a few white, stone steps leading to the heavy wooden doors.

_'Leading to hell.'_

I think to myself as I begin to wonder whether or not my younger brother Ciel was here yet. He had left before me, saying he wanted to get some breakfast from a crêpe shop up over by the convention center first. Normally I would've accompanied him considering he is only 14 and Seattle is not the safest city in the world, however I knew he was growing tired of my overprotectiveness, so I let him go alone for once.

_'It wasn't just me being overprotective.. I enjoy spending time with him.'_

Masses of students pass me as I slowly drag my feet over the red stoned walkway, towards the school doors. I can hear side comments from random students as I walk with my gaze fixated on the wooden doors.

"Nerd."

"What is he wearing? Is he serious?"

"Freak."

I ignore all their comments, they don't matter to me at all. I have been bullied my entire life, I had come to accept it as a way of life for me. This wasn't to say I didn't wish things were different, I did.. But I couldn't change their opinion of me, especially when their opinions were based solely on the type of clothes I chose to wear.

_'It's not like I'm dirty or anything.. I'm not a pervert, or a jerk.. I just dress differently.'_

I climb the steps to the school, still ignoring the giggles and side comments from the other nameless, faceless students. Grabbing the cold handle to the wooden doors of my hell, I pull them open and step inside.


	2. Chapter 2

**~TRIGGER WARNING for Self-harm, Eating Disorders, Depression~**

* * *

The smell of various colognes and perfumes smacks me in the face as I observe the bustling students around me. Some point and laugh at me, others completely ignore me and continue their conversations. Groups of students stand blocking portions of the hallway, while others attempt to squeeze around the masses. I can't help but sigh as another wave of dread sweeps through me. The noise level of the building is what bothered me the most. It sounded like a competition of 'who could be the loudest and most obnoxious'.

_'I need to get my schedule..' _

I had ten minutes to get my schedule and find my classroom, which wouldn't be a problem considering it was my fourth year here.

I begin the process of squeezing between students, my eyes fixated on the glass doors which lead to the main office of the school. I do my best to keep my mind occupied, blocking out the various insults I hear directed at me.

_'I don't care. I don't care.' _

It was only slightly true. I didn't care what they thought about me, but it didn't make their insults hurt any less. I just wanted to disappear.

Finally I burst from the hoard, stumbling a few steps, I brush my hands through my hair, attempting to tame the beast before pulling open the door to the main office.

When I step inside and allow the door to close behind me, the first thing I notice is how much _quieter _it is.

The second thing I notice is a line of about five students waiting at the long, grey desk. After getting in line, I allow my eyes to wander about the office. Plastic plants sit in every corner, artwork by students is framed on the cream colored walls as well as plaques for various awards the school has won for 'academic achievement'.

After a couple of minutes, I finally reach the front of the line. The woman behind the desk is faceless, nameless to me. Her blonde hair is stringy, the style is in desperate need of updating, Her makeup looks more like a mask I could just pull off if I really desired to, and her clothes looked two sizes too small for her wide frame. The gum she smacks on begins to tear at my nerves as she speaks to me in the same voice every other adult at this school used with me.

_'The voice that tells me they pity me and my existence.' _

"What's your name, hun?"

All I can focus on is the way she smacks her gum.

"Sebastian.." I tell her, my anxiety levels slowly rising.

"Sebastian what?"

_Smack, Smack, Smack._

"Michaelis.. Sebastian Michaelis."

She gives me a pitiful smile as she turns to the pile of papers in front of her, small tabs with letters of the alphabet stick out between the pages. Russling through them, she opens up the 'M' file. After a bit of digging she pulls out my schedule.

"There you are, do you need a map?"

_'That sound.. Make it stop.'_

_Smack, Smack, Smack._

I take the schedule from her plump fingers, the red nail polish she wears is almost offensive but I don't say anything about that. Instead, I smile at her.

"No thank you, It's my forth year here. I know where to go."

Her eyes grow wide at hearing I'm a senior. I wasn't surprised because I'm quite short for my age, standing at only 5'5".

"Oh I thought you were a freshman! I'm sorry!" She cackles loudly, the sound is sharp and hurts my ears so I slowly back away from the desk.

"Uh, Thank you!"

I wave the schedule at her as a fake smile remains on my lips.

I hear a few snickers from the students that were in line behind me as I pass. My anxiety levels climb as I quickly grab the door handle and exit the office.

The sound of all the students attacks my ears yet again as I bring my schedule up and study it carefully.

_'Advanced Algorithms, Government, Advanced Psychology, English IV, Art, Physics, Phys. Ed.'_

A frown tugs at my lips as I stare at the words 'Phys. Ed.'. I hadn't chosen PE as an elective, since it is my senior year, PE was supposed to be optional but apparently somebody in administration takes great pleasure in torturing me.

I hear the bell sound, it's sharp dinging causes the majority of the students to disperse towards their classes.

My anxiety levels have almost reached their peak, any higher than this and.. and..

_'I'll have to go to the bathroom.. I'll have to calm myself down.'_

Fantasies of the razor I kept in my pocket swirl through my head as I slowly walk towards my classroom, attempting to hide in the sea of faceless, nameless students.

I didn't like to use my razor at school, I never have because the worry of somebody finding out terrified me, Especially Ciel..

_'If Ciel ever found out...' _

I shake the thought from my head. I had never kept the fact that I am relentlessly bullied a secret, there was hardly a point since he was now attending the same school as me. But my cutting, no he could never know about that.

It's not even that I'm depressed, I don't think I'm depressed at least.

_'I don't want to die. I just wish I was dead.' _

Is that the same thing? It's not is it? I don't know anymore, I just wish I didn't exist.

Because maybe they're right.

I look up from my black converse as I enter the hallway where my first class sits. I double check my classroom number on my schedule before finally locating it. Squeezing through the sea of students, I pass through the doors of my classroom.

My eyes sweep across the room, I'm apparently the first one here.

_'Strange.. There's only 3 more minutes until class starts.' _

Wordlessly, I take a seat in the back of the classroom near the windows which lined the wall across from the door.

The white board bares the words 'Advanced Algorithms', scrawled in black marker.

_'Math.. One of the very few things I'm actually good at.'_

I stare out the window, ignoring the various students who enter the classroom. The noise level slowly climbs as these nameless, faceless students bring their noisy conversations into the classroom.

Everybody appears to avoid me like a plague, they sit on opposite sides of the classrooms, they only look at me to laugh.

'_I don't care.'_

I think to myself as I stare out at the busy streets of Seattle.

I'm so used to being laughed at. It's like a second nature to ignore it. To ignore other people and to ignore my feelings.

_'Somewhat..' _

I can only handle so much. Like everybody, I have to cope somehow.

My thoughts flash to my blade, my hand automatically moves to finger the single edged razor blade in my pocket.

My thoughts then flash to the bathroom, or the toilet more specifically.

How many hours have I spent digging my fingers down my throat?

It was almost as though I thought the more I purged, the better I would feel.

_'Which is a circumstantial truth..' _

The bell sounds again, and I hear teachers yelling at students to get into their classrooms. Finally, I see my teacher enter the classroom, one last student runs through the door before she shuts it.

Her hair is pretty, a light brown and straight. It reaches her shoulders, tickling her collarbones as she sweeps her eyes over us.

She wears a purple button down with a grey pencil skirt and black flats.

"Hello everyone! Welcome to Advanced Algorithms! My name is Ms. Vaughn. It's a pleasure to meet you."

My eyes watch her move around the room, I listen to her spew the same lines every other teacher will give us about taking our senior year seriously, and how fantastic it is that we're graduating this year.

But my thoughts are elsewhere, I'm distracted by my desire to take out my notebook and begin drawing. I'm distracted by my desire to write, to play my violin and to talk to Ciel.

I'm distracted by my desire to be anywhere else than here.

I'm quickly roused from my thoughts by the sound of a knock on the door.

Ms. Vaughn opens the door, exposing a boy who appears less than thrilled about being here.

"Why are you late? It's only the first day!" She questions him.

I can't hear his response but it causes the teacher to frown. She turns away from him, her blue eyes scan the room before settling on me. Pointing over to me, she tells the boy something that I can't hear.

The boy takes one look at me and rolls his eyes before heading my way.

'_Great..' _

As he approaches I can make out brown eyes which appear annoyed, cream colored skin and inky black hair, the same color as my own.

He wears a grey band T-shirt, and black jeans and a grey backpack.

_'Maybe he's actually really friendly..' _

I think to myself, hoping that I didn't just have another nameless, faceless person seated beside me.

When he notices me staring at him, he snarls before pulling out the chair beside me and plopping down. He doesn't move his eyes from me, giving me a cold stare that melts my nerves and causes the thoughts of my blade to grow that much more intense.

_'Fantastic... Can this day get any worse?'_


	3. Chapter 3

**~Trigger warning for cutting! Do not read if you are sensitive to these triggers!~**

*I want to also mention that Nerdy Sebastian is not an original idea. Nerdy Sebastian and Bully Claude belongs to Jon Lock, the artist who originally created them.

*I also want to thank everybody who has reviewed and favorited the story. I'm happy you guys are enjoying it! It's definitely been a challenging story to write, however I'm excited to get into the 'romance'. ;)

*This chapter is RAW, I didn't have time to revise it for errors so if you spot one please let me know! =D

* * *

My eyes casually slide over towards the new kid, his stare boring into my skull like daggers. Each time I notice that he's still staring, I can't help but swallow with nervousness. This is not how I wanted to start the year, I wanted nothing more than to be the one everybody ignored, pretended was invisible. That was far more preferable than becoming somebodies punching bag.

It takes everything in me to not look at him. Instead I play with a loose thread on my backpack, my chest feels tight as I feel his eyes on me, never moving.

_'What did I do? Why is he staring at me?'_

The bell sounds signaling the end of first period. I waste no time grabbing my backpack and practically sprinting from the classroom. I don't dare look over my shoulder for fear the boy was following me.

My heart beats harder than ever, threatening to explode from my chest as I burst out into the hallway. I squeeze between the swarm of students and quickly try to blend in, not wanting to have any more problems today.

Once I get far enough away, I look at my schedule, my heart still pounding a hundred beats per second.

_'Government.. Sounds boring.'_

Glancing up, I notice the boys bathroom, not too far from the hall which held my next class. Impulsively, I dodge into the bathroom, my anxiety taking a new high as my shaky hands push open the first stall door and lock it behind me.

I can hear the whispers of the nameless, faceless students in the bathroom with me.

Laughing at me.

'_I don't care. I don't care.'_

Digging into my pocket, I shakily retract my hidden razor. A thin piece of cardboard covers the blade, but I rip it off without a second thought.

Pulling up both sleeves, I stare down at the mess that I've already created on my skin. A patchwork of both deep and shallow cuts sweeps across both arms, displaying each weak moment I've ever had since this began. Among the fresh wounds also sits clusters of pink scars, I hated them. I absolutely hate this, I don't like marking myself, I don't like having to hide my arms beneath cardigans and long-sleeves in the summer.

_'But how else... How else do I cope with this?'_

I find a bare spot on my right arm, free of any fresh wounds but still marred by old ones.

Exhaling, I push the tip of the new blade into my arm and quickly pull it across, releasing the pressure as I go to avoid cutting too deep.

_'Yes...'_

Like a drug, the pain sweeps over me followed by the endorphins.

But I'm not done yet.

I repeat the motion, sweeping the razor over my arm, watching the pale skin split apart; spilling out the warm, crimson silk that lies beneath. It was beautiful to me, and it was ugly.

_'Everything will be okay, after this.'_

I make four more lines, mopping up my blood with the crappy school toilet paper as best as I can. Now alone in the bathroom, I take my time cleaning the mess I've created on my arm. I can't describe how good I feel in this moment, it's almost like a weight has been lifted. I no longer feel like my skull is going to explode from anxiety.

'_I can't keep doing this..' _

I freeze, this thought never ceases to cross my mind after one of these sessions. I'm well aware that this can't continue.. But for right now I have to, I don't have a choice anymore.

'_That's a lie.'_

_'It's not.. What else should I do? Not cope with this pressure at all? At least I'm not on drugs..'_

_'You shouldn't be doing this. It would make Ciel cry if he ever found out.'_

_'Ciel...'_

This battle with myself is an everyday thing. Part of me knows that I can't continue, the other part, the bigger part, can't stop.

_'After the accident.. It was my fault.. I didn't protect him..'_

Clenching my fists, I push the thoughts of the accident away. I could never think about that for too long without almost completely losing myself.

_'Your fault..'_

Ignoring my minds taunts, I continue to silently clean off my arm.

After I finish mopping up the blood, I flush the stained toilet paper, watching it swirl and finally disappear. This scene was all too familiar to me, the past four years of high school I can't even count the number of times I sat hunched in the bathroom, slicing my skin over and over before flushing the evidence. Even at home as my Aunt and Ciel slept, I would silently release all my pain with the sharp end of a razor blade. Both my Aunt and Ciel are blissfully unaware of my coping methods, due to the long-sleeves I sport all year long.

_'I never want them to know.. I don't want to hurt them.' _

I couldn't help but feel guilty, I was guilty of not protecting Ciel. I was guilty of not saving our parents, I was guilty of being behind our families suffering.

And I was guilty of marring my skin with thick lines that would most certainly make Ciel cry if he knew.

_'I deserve this pain.' _

Pulling my sleeves down, I feel the swollen and throbbing skin on my arm protest with pain against the soft fabric of my cardigan. With a sigh of defeat, I pull the stall door open.

Leaning against the wall across the bathroom, arms crossed, is the boy from my math class, my heart slams into my chest as my brain signals my legs to leave.

Leave before this gets bad..

Leave before you get hurt.

Leave before he says something that will only make you want to slice your skin again.

But I can't move.

Like a deer caught in the headlights; I can't move.

Locking eyes with me, he pushes away from the wall and walks towards me, his eyes bare only hostile intent.

I open my mouth and attempt to say something but nothing will come out. He slams me back against the white tile wall. My head aches from slamming against the tile but I don't dare say anything about it.

"What the hell were you staring at me for in math? Do you have a problem?"

I had never realized how tall he was, but how that he was merely inches from me, I noticed he stood at probably 6'1".

This only terrified me more.

"I-I, I'm sorry If I offended you.. I didn't mean to.." My heart pounds loudly in my chest and I'm convinced he can hear it.

I feel like a rabbit being caught by the fox.

"What the hell? Are you some sort of faggot then?"

I can't lie, the word stings. I had never formally come out at school, but I was aware that everybody at school already somehow knew.

"I-I... That's not it!" The boy's hands slam against the wall on both sides of my head causing me to jump. His body is like a cage that I can't escape.

The boy stares intently into my eyes, his eye brows furrowed in anger as a deep frown sits on his lips almost like it never quite leaves.

"Fucking faggots. I'm not fucking gay so don't look at me anymore or I'm going to beat the shit out of you. Got it?"

I rapidly shake my head, not breathing a word as I feel my heart pounding into my chest.

The boy pulls back, he shoots me another cold look before exiting the bathroom without another word.

I can't help but stare at the wall, waiting for my heart to calm down.

_'Just don't look at him.. And he'll leave you alone..' _

I knew that logically I shouldn't dare look in his direction, however I was unable to deny the observation I made during the ordeal.

_'He's... cute.. very cute..'_

A hot blush creeps over my cheeks as I realize just how attractive I found this boy. Even though he almost just wiped the streets with me.

_'What a stupid crush, I can't. I can't. I hate him. Yes, I hate him. I'm confusing hate with attractiveness. No, I need to avoid him. I just have to get through this year and I'll be fine.'_

Swallowing nervously, I grab onto my backpack straps which hang over my shoulders, and quickly head off to class.


	4. Chapter 4

The rest of the day goes by smoothly. I manage to avoid the nameless boy from my math class the entire day and found that I did not have any other classes with him.

_'Thank god!'_

I stand beneath a cherry blossom tree in front of the school. Bare of any leaves, I can't deny my excitement at the thought of what beautiful flowers it will hold in just a few months.

Ciel had texted me as school ended asking me to wait for him in-front of the school. I was happy he still wanted to walk home with me, but I was worried that standing out in the open would put me at risk of seeing _him_..

_'Or rather, him seeing me.'_

I can't help but stare down at my shoes, my legs come into focus and my mind instantly begins nitpicking every aspect of my body.

_'Thighs are fat.. I need to work on that. My calves look huge, maybe I run too much? I wonder if other people notice my love-handles? It probably grosses them out. No wonder nobody likes me.' _

I can't help but sigh at these thoughts. Invading my mind, I can't stop obsessing over my body. Something inside me told me that if I had the perfect body, people would like me.

But logic told me that probably wasn't true.

_'The worst thing that can happen.. Is I either obtain the perfect body and make friends, or I obtain the perfect body and die. It doesn't matter.' _

This was a lie. I was well aware that if I died it would destroy Ciel. My mind can't even comprehend what sort of a mess he would become.

_'Would he even be human after that? I can't do that too him.'_

Somebody who has lost everything, who has nothing to lose. Somebody who feels nothing because their range of emotion has been lost due to an overwhelming amount of pain.. Can they even be considered human after that?

"Sebastian!" I jump at the sound of my name. Turning, I see Ciel running towards me smiling ear-to-ear. His blue/grey hair shines in the soft Seattle sunlight as his white backpack bounces violently on his back, signaling it's emptiness.

"Hey, Ciel." I force my best smile for my brother. My eyes carefully slide over to his eyepatch, a cold stab attacks my heart before I quickly avert my eyes. Ciel seems to take no notice and begins telling me about his day.

_'Your fault. You should've protected him.'_

I push the thought away.

"Everybody in my class is really nice! I even made some new friends! This school is huge, I had a hard time finding my classes but one of the teachers helped me."

I can't help but smile at his enthusiasm as we begin walking towards the gate which led to back to the busy streets of Seattle.

"Do you like your teachers?" I ask, enjoying the sight of my brothers wide smile.

'_He didn't smile for a long time after the accident.'_

"Yeah! Especially my art teacher, he's nice but he talks _really _fast and I had a hard time keeping up."

"That's good, I'm glad you made friends."

I was genuinely happy for my brother, even if I couldn't make friends I was glad he could. The animated way he spoke told me that he was finally happy again, which in turn- made me happy.

_'Because he means everything to me.'_

* * *

"How was school?" My Aunt asks as both Ciel and I walk through the doors of our condo.

Our Aunt stands in the entry way, her red hair pinned back the way she always has it when she works in the cafe she below our condo. The cafe she owns.

I take note of the red apron she always wears, white ruffles outline it almost matching the white flour stains which mar the apron itself like a medal of war.

I quickly strip off my backpack and drop it on the white carpet floor beside the door. Being home was like an escape, I didn't have to face anybody besides family, I didn't have to worry about being laughed at for things I can't help.

"School was great, Everyone is really nice and the school is a lot bigger than my old one!" Ciel exclaims, a smile still playing on his lips.

My Aunt took both my brother and I in after the accident, the rest of our family was unknown to us or wasn't interested in caring for us. I couldn't deny that being unwanted by the rest of the family stung a little, however I was grateful to our Aunt for taking us in when nobody else would.

"That's great, Ciel. I'm glad you like it. How about you Sebastian? How was school?"

She turns to me, a concerned look on her face. I had never hidden the fact that I bullied or had no friends, as embarrassing as that fact was I knew there was no point in hiding it or denying it.

"School was ok... Some new guy gave me a hard time but it should be okay as long as I don't look at him." My gaze drops to the floor, shame overwhelming my being as I feel all eyes on me.

"Maybe tomorrow will be better. Have you tried talking to anybody? Making a friend or two?"

I look up from the floor to my Aunt before noticing the troubled look plaguing Ciel's once excited eyes.

"Yeah, tomorrow will be better.. I'll try again tomorrow."

I disguise the lie in my voice as best as possible. As cynical as it is, I wasn't convinced tomorrow would be any better than today. I knew it would be just as hard.

"Okay, honey. Well I need to get back down to the shop.. I just wanted to make sure you guys had a good first day."

"Yes.. We did." I respond, just to fill the awkward gap which now hung in the air like a thick smog.

"Are you guys going to help out today? You don't have to, I understand if you're tired."

I look over at Ciel who tilts his head to the side and shrugs slightly.

"Sure, I'll help. Sebastian?"

"Yeah.. Let me take a shower first and I'll meet you down there."

A smile spreads across our Aunts face.

"Fantastic! I just hired a new employee too, It'll be a great chance for you guys to meet him."

"Okay, that sounds great."

I fake a smile and wave her off as she exits the condo with Ciel in tow. Once the door closes, I quickly lock it before turning towards the hallway.

"Shower time."


	5. Chapter 5

Once inside the bathroom, I turn the hot water on and face the mirror as I strip off my clothes. The steam fills the bathroom slowly, it's almost suffocating at first but I quickly adjust.

Standing before my mirror in just my boxers, I stare at my body. My eyes move from my arms which are covered in angry red lines, to my stomach which could use some work, then down to my hips which are huge and fat. I can't help but sigh as my eyes finally move up to my face.

My hair is a mess, it never does what I want it to do. Messy wisps of inky black hair stand at all angles regardless of how many times I brush it.

_'I wish I was taller, thinner.. I wish my hair wasn't so hard to tame, I wish... I was happier.'_

I stare at my reflection for a long time, seemingly hypnotized by the sight. My eyes are an ugly brown and dull, my lips a pale pink situated below a nose that is too thin for my face.

Another sigh escapes my lips as I pull my boxers off and step into the shower.

_'Maybe after high school, everything will be better.'_

The warm water slides over my shoulders relaxing my tense muscles.

Bringing my hands up, I wet my hair as I stare down at the shower drain, watching the dried blood stain the clear water a slight pink.

I can't help but grimace at the pain on my arms caused by the warm water beating against the fresh cuts. The stinging sensation was hard to ignore, I instantly wanted to rip my arms away, hide them from the pain that was being inflicted but I knew I couldn't do that.

After a few minutes, the pain simmers down, or maybe my arms have gone numb? I'm not sure. Turning the water off, I step out of the tub and onto the plush, blue bathroom mat. Grabbing my grey towel off the hook on the back of the door, I quickly dry my body off.

I can't stop myself from looking at my blurry figure in the cloudy mirror. With my hair pasted against my face, I knew it wouldn't be a pretty sight, yet it never is anyway.

_'Why doesn't he like me? He doesn't even know me...'_

My thoughts flash to Claude, the memory of his face twisted in anger as he stands over me in the bathroom at school.

His body so close to mine, his face within inches of my own..

_'And was that.. cologne I smelled? It smelled really good, he smelled really good..'_

A blush forms on my cheeks as I think about him being so close to me. He really was cute, even though he wasn't very nice.

'_Wait...'_

Glancing down, I realize that my towel which I had pressed against my chest, is sticking out below my waist.

Embarrassed, I feel my cheeks grow even hotter as I realize that just thinking about Claude has turned me on.

Dropping my towel on the floor, I jump back into the tub and turn on the shower as cold as the water will go.

* * *

"How nice of you to finally join us!" My Aunt laughs as I enter the kitchen. Grabbing the first white apron I find, I loop it over my head and tie the straps behind my back.

"Sorry, I got a little distracted." It wasn't really a lie, I was a little distracted.

My cheeks turn a little red as I push the thoughts away. This would be the worst place to be turned on, well here and school.

I can't see Ciel anywhere in the kitchen which isn't unusual as he usually mans the register up front.

The other employee's barely give me any notice as my Aunt lists everything she wants me to do.

"And the oranges need to be unloaded into the fridge, after that I need the boxes broken down and you can have the new guy help you do that. Oh you guys haven't met yet have you? Let me go find him for you." Smiling, she turns and leaves towards the main serving area before I can respond.

I stand before the long wooden countertop, flour is spread atop it as well as signs of something having recently been prepared.

_'I don't mind helping out in the cafe, I really don't.. It's better than sitting alone in my room.' _

If anything I enjoyed baking. It happened to be one of the few things I was actually good at.

Before I can stop it, memories of baking with my mom and Ciel flash through my head.

_The movie of Ciel getting flour all over himself, our mom laughing so hard as he cried that she couldn't stand properly. I ended up having to carry the crying Ciel upstairs and bathe him. He didn't stop crying until I had dressed him..._

Tears prick my eyes before I quickly blink them away.

_'Don't think about that..'_

My mind urges me to think of something else, the thoughts of our past was never easy to deal with, especially when I remembered our parents.

"Sebastian!"

I look up as my Aunt enters the kitchen with somebody behind her.

I can't hide my interest, it's rare that we get a new employee as my Aunt is very picky with the people she hires.

And I couldn't deny the slight smile that forms on my lips upon realizing this new employee was so shy that he would practically hide behind my Aunt.

"Oh no need to be shy! Here!"

Pulling the arm of the person behind her, she pulls him out from behind her, to where I can get a good look at him.

My smile falters, replaced by a frown.

'_No.. No, no, no, no, no!"_

My heart begins to beat faster as fear swells inside my chest.

"Sebastian, I'd like you to meet Claude, he'll be working here from now on."


	6. Chapter 6

_*Aw this is a long chapter, the longest yet. I'm sorry to those of you who dislike long chapters on here. I'll try to keep them short but there just didn't really seem to be a good stopping point. But I do want to thank everybody who has been reviewing! I'm glad you guys are enjoying it! I know I've been just shooting out chapter after chapter and I'm sorry, that must be annoying. I'll try to slow it down a bit! Chapter 7 will be out tomorrow though! I'll probably write it tonight and just wait until tomorrow to post it._

_Anyway I'm rambling. So without further ado, Chapter 6._

* * *

I can feel my palms grow clammy, my heart refuses to calm down as I lock eyes with Claude.

His eyebrows furrow, his lips pulling into a frown.

_'I'm going to get killed. That's it, my life will end at seventeen. He's going to kill me.'_

My voice catches in my throat as my Aunt awaits my response. I can't think of what to say.

I look from my Aunt to Claude before noticing that Claude's clothes have changed. Instead of the grey band shirt he wore at school, he now wears a black button down and nice blue jeans. Yet he hadn't relinquished the black, fingerless gloves which covered his hands.

_'Claude, his name is Claude.. I need to say something. She's waiting for me, say hi. Just say hi to him. That's all you have to do. Say hi. Time is running out! You're being rude!'_

Raising my hand, I half wave at the boy who I now know as 'Claude'.

"H-Hi.. I'm Sebastian."

That's all I can get out, my voice cracks like a pre-pubescent teenager.

Claude's eye's narrow at me, I can see the anger in his eyes as his words replay in my head over-and-over.

_'Don't look at me anymore or I'm going to beat the shit out of you.. Don't look at me anymore or I'm going to beat the shit out of you.'_

_'Yet here I stand.. Looking at him..'_

"Hi, _Sebastian_, I'm Claude. It's _great _to meet you!" Claude reaches forward to shake my hand, a smirk playing on his pink lips.

Reaching out, I offer my hand which he takes with a firm grip. I can feel the pain of my hand being squeezed so hard, but I don't say anything.

"It's g-great to meet you t-too." I mutter as he finally releases my hand. A soft blush rises to my cheeks as I ignore the pulsating pain.

"Great! Now that you two have met, Claude can I get you to go help in the dining area then help Sebastian break down boxes in the alley?"

Claude gives my Aunt a smile, assuring her that it would be his 'pleasure' before disappearing into the dining area.

"Are you OK, Sebastian? You look like you've seen a ghost!"

I swallow the anxiety in my throat before fixing one of my fake smiles for her.

"I'm fine, sorry I'm just a little tired." The lie comes out before I can stop it, but I know it's for the best. I didn't want to cause trouble for her by pointing out that Claude is a potential bully of mine.

Smiling softly, she tilts her head at me.

"Alright, honey. Well if you get too tired go ahead and go home. We'll be okay here."

_'Don't do that.. You look like mom... When you do that..'_

"Thank you, but I think I'll be okay."

I lie again. Somehow I'm turning into a lie machine, one after another, just slipping out.

"Okay, I'll be up front if you need me."

Turning away from the door, I cast a glance towards my left where the rest of the kitchen is.

Three men stand dressed in white shirts, white aprons, white hats and black pants. They knead dough, mix ingredients and pull their creations from the industrial ovens we've provided. Even though they have worked here for the entire five years we've been in business, I've never had a conversation with any of them. They didn't appear to be interested in conversing, or maybe it was just with me.

I walk around the kitchen, the heat causes sweat to form on the back of my neck but it doesn't last long as I come upon the enormous silver door which leads to our refrigerator.

Pulling the large door open, a small _'beep' _sounds, alerting the kitchen that a temperature safe compartment has been opened and needs to be closed. Ignoring the sounds, I walk through the heavy, thick plastic straps that hang down and into the cool refrigerator.

Shelves line the walls baring various boxes and miscellaneous items like milk and fruits. The room isn't much bigger than a master bathroom, three fans hang from the roof adjacent to the door spewing cold air which makes me shiver.

I pull my sleeves down over my hands again, the purple shade my fingers begin to turn tells me that I need to start working soon and warm myself up.

I spot a few boxes in the corner of the fridge holding oranges. Pulling down some plastic milk crates, I begin to check the oranges, loading the good ones into the milk crates and leaving the bad ones off to the side for disposal or donation.

'_What are the chances he would start working here? Somebody up there must really enjoy laughing at my struggles. This is just plain cruel.'_

Yet, at the same time I couldn't deny the excitement that struck me for a brief moment.

_'Claude... Claude... I like that name.. It suits him.. He definitely looks like a Claude.. But what does a Claude even look like? What sort of saying is that anyway? To say somebody 'looks' like a certain word.'_

In this very moment I become even more confused with myself. Why do I like him? He's not very nice, all he has going for him right now are his looks and that is surely not a good enough reason to like somebody. I must be losing my mind.

Not to mention, Claude made it abundantly clear in the bathroom that he isn't gay. What would the point be in pining after him? Surely it would only make him angry.. It's not worth it, I don't want to get into a fight over this. I just want to finish school.

Once I finish with the first crate, I place it on the shelf, using the now empty box to hold the rotting or broken oranges.

Pulling down the next box and crate, I begin the same process over again. I still had four more boxes to go through, packed to the brim with questionable oranges.

I sigh as I work, I wanted to be happy so badly. I wanted to have friends that I could take to the arcade on 7th ave, I wanted friends who I could go to the movies with.

_'I want friends to have friends.'_

But I don't even know how to make a friend.. The only person who even resembles a friend would be Ciel, but I don't think a brother counts.

_'Probably not.. I'm probably the only person in the world without a friend. My existence really is pathetic isn't it? No wonder the adults at school look at me so pitifully. I hate this. I don't want to be pathetic! I don't want to be pitiful! I want to be happy, with friends and I want people to look at me and think; "Wow, he's done really well for himself!". That's all I want..'_

Ten minutes pass, the only sounds keeping me company are from the vents which blow the cold air which no longer feels so cold, and the sounds of my own work, moving oranges and putting crates away.

I enjoy working alone, it's better than forcing myself to socialize with others. I've mostly forgotten how to socialize properly.

I pick up the last crate, it's heavy but despite my thin frame, I am not without muscle. After placing the last crate onto the shelf, I hear the beep of the refrigerator door opening. Looking over my shoulder, I see Claude standing in the doorway lacking any sort of expression on his face.

_"_Are you done yet?" He asks, clearly impatient now.

"Y-yeah, that was the last crate." I look away from him, turning instead to the pile of boxes at my feet, one containing the questionable oranges.

Claude comes towards me, my heart begins to pound at the fear I felt.

_'What if he tries to fight me? What do I do? I've never been in a fight before.' _

Instead of fighting me, Claude begins collecting the empty boxes before carrying them towards the door. I can't help but stare at him, zoning out on his movements, subconsciously admiring his build.

"What are you waiting for? A fucking invitation? Come on!"

Snapped from my daze, I quickly lift the box of oranges at my feet and carry it over to him.

"God only knows why they let _you_ work here." He scoffs as we exit the fridge together.

I attempt to disguise the frown on my lips, I wasn't excited about being bullied both at school and at work.

_'Why are you even here?'_

I decide not to respond to his statement, not wanting to give him a reason to respond and say anything more.

Instead, we walk silently to the backdoor of the kitchen which leads into the alley. Claude struggles with the door, his arms full of open boxes so I step forward.

"L-Let me get it.."

Using my knee to balance the box of oranges, I use my now free hand to open the door allowing Claude to exit. Without so much as a 'thank you', or any acknowledgment at all, he steps out, not holding the door for me.

I can't help but roll my eyes as I slide my back along the door until I'm fully outside. I couldn't understand why he hated me so much, is there an aura I give off that just tells people to dislike me? I don't understand.

Silently, we break down the boxes and throw them into the pile for our transfer man who will take it to a compactor down the street. I don't dare look at Claude for fear of giving him even more reason to hate me.

_'Looking at somebody will make them hate you?'_

_'I don't know.. But it seems that way for me at least..' _

After we finish the last box, Claude wastes no time practically sprinting inside, leaving me alone in the alley.

'_Anything to get away from me.'_

A small part of me wanted to become friends with him. But I wasn't sure how to do that quite yet.

_'Maybe after he spends a bit of time with me, he'll figure out that I'm not that bad.'_

These hopeful thoughts are really all I have going for me. But my cynical side is never far behind, piping up with statements that are usually illogical or just depressing.

_'Or maybe you really are that bad and you just don't know it.'_

I can't help but sigh. I sigh a lot don't I? Do normal people sigh this much? What constitutes _normal_ anyway? And whose to say I'm abnormal?

I carry the box of oranges to the dumpster. Lowering them to the ground I quickly check over all of them, chucking the rotten ones into the dumpster and saving the rest for donation. The box is far lighter now, So I carry it with one arm and use the other to open the back door.

With the day almost over, I couldn't help but wonder if he would be a little friendlier to me at school tomorrow now that we're co-workers.

_'It never hurts to be hopeful.'_


	7. Chapter 7

Laying my head on my backpack, I turn my head away from the rest of my math class, and instead stare out the window.

_'I wonder if he's even coming.'_

My brain had started an internal war much bigger than the previous ones. Part of me wanted Claude to come to class, wanted to see him. The other part, the more logical part, hoped he wouldn't come, hoped he would transfer to another school or another country.

_'I just want to graduate.'_

It seems like every year, even though I keep to myself and do my best not to bother anybody, somebody always singles me out and makes the entire year absolute hell.

Before this year started, my Aunt was pressuring me to change schools. I know it hurts her to watch me get torn down over and over, but I know that changing school's won't fix the problem.

_'It's my last year anyway.. And Ciel is here.. I can't leave now. What if he needs me?'_

The sound of something slamming on the desk next to me causes me to jolt back into a sitting position, my head snapping in the direction of the sound.

Claude stands behind the chair, his hand positioned on the back to pull it out. Our eyes lock as he rips the chair out and plops down in it, slouching with his hands folded over his stomach.

His eyes never leave mine.

I can't help but swallow as the anxiety peaks in my chest. Quickly, I avert my eyes and stare awkwardly at my backpack. I can see him still staring at me from the corner of my eye.

"Didn't I tell you not to look at me?"

Memories of the bathroom flash through my head.

_'I'll beat the shit out of you.'_

The sound of his voice makes my heart pound harder, but I don't dare look at him.

"Y-yes.. I-I r-rem-remember." I want to melt into the floor. I have to get away from here, I can't handle this.

"And here you are, staring at me. Wow." Claude learns closer to me.

"We're going to have fun this year huh?"

_'Kill me, somebody kill me.'_

"Please leave me alone." My voice is barely audible, the words come out before I can stop them.

I honestly hate saying things that make me sound weak, which hardly makes sense because in the eyes of the masses, I am weak.

"What was that? Leave you alone? Could you repeat that?" Claude cups his hand to his ear, a smirk playing on his lips as he leans in towards me.

"Please.. Leave me alone."

Sitting back in his chair, Claude lets out a low whistle which attracts the attention of other students who begin to stare.

"Leave you alone, huh? Why would I do that? Your faggoty ass can't seem to leave _me_ alone. I'm feeling a little harassed here."

I can't feel my heart sink into my chest as I realize that he's not going to stop. I should be used to this by now, but I hate this feeling of being trapped and defenseless.

"I didn't mean to stare.. I know you're not gay.. That's not-.." I trail off, not wanting to respond anymore but instead wanting to flee. I wanted to run away from here and never come back.

_'Where would I go? I could go anywhere. Anywhere would be better than here.'_

_"_Oh so you're faggoty ass isn't attracted to me? What are you too good for me?"

Tears prick my eyes but I hold them back. This is nothing but a lose/lose situation, what do I do? How do I respond?

Folding my hands between my legs, I stare at my lap before responding.

"That's not it.."

I can feel the tears welling up as Claude laughs.

"Oh? Than what is it then, princess?"

Before I can stop myself, I'm shouting at Claude.

"You're just not very nice! You're mean and I don't like mean people! That's why I don't like you! Now leave me alone!"

I'm frozen in anger. My chest heaving up and down as my entire body quivers.

Claude leans back, eyes wide as he stares at me. I see surprise in his eyes and perhaps... sadness?

"Fucking faggot." Claude jumps up from his chair, grabbing his backpack; he storms from the room leaving the rest of the class to stare at me.

Whispers and giggles fill the room. I hear a few insults fly across the room, most of them questioning my sexuality.

_'I don't care..'_

Turning away from them, I stare out the window again as the bell sounds signaling the start of class. My thoughts slide to the look in Claude's eyes after I yelled at him. The sadness mirrored in them reminded me of myself.

The look in his eyes reminded me of myself before I came out.

_'What if... he's...'_

_'What did I just do?'_

* * *

By the time I get to my last class, I'm exhausted from dodging Claude in the hallways. I had only seen him a few times, and it would usually only be a glimpse of him walking upstairs or leaving a classroom.

_'Thankfully he never saw me.'_

Exhaling a sigh of relief, I enter the enormous gym. P.E. is my last class of the day, and while I was glad that I was able to get through the entire day without sweating, I was annoyed that I had to take P.E. at all.

My shoes squeak on the waxed, wood floors as I cross to the double doors on the other side of the gym.

The lights on the ceiling are bright and reflect on the floor creating an almost painfully bright gym. It's completely silent aside from the far away voices of students clamoring through the hallways- trying to get to class.

I hated gym with a passion. It's not that I lack strength or endurance, it's just that nobody ever picks me for the teams. They single me out in dodgeball and trip me when we run the track.

_'And changing..'_

We are all required to wear a gym uniform which happened to be navy blue basketball shorts and an oversized grey T-shirt. The shirt is what bothered me the most, it had been a huge triumph when I convinced the coach to let me wear a long sleeve shirt under it. He was persistent, insisted I would overheat if I wore two shirts while running. However I convinced him that I became cold easily and wearing a long-sleeve would keep me warm.

_'Although I'm not entirely sure if he bought the excuse or if he simply gave up.'_

I push open the double doors which lead to a narrow staircase. The farther I climb up the staircase, the louder the voices in the locker room get. I can hear yelling and some laughing, I can also hear the gym coach yelling at everybody to hurry and get dressed. The only time we had to dress was the five minutes between bells. This also required that we not only get to class, but also dress within five minutes.

When I reach the door to the locker room, I pull it open and instantly scrunch up my nose at the foul oder. Reluctantly, I step inside and allow the door to close behind me. Rows of blue metal lockers sit in the middle of the room, long, light colored benches sit bolted to the floor between the lockers with just enough space for everybody to change.

Further down past the lockers are bathroom stalls and a shower. The shower was really just an enormous square shaped room made of white tile with random shower heads poking out of the walls and single drain in the middle. No privacy or anything, I suppose us teenagers are undeserving of it.

As I make my way to my locker, I do my best to ignore side comments from the other students.

"Fairy."

"Loser."

"Don't fucking look at me, faggot."

For some reason, it seemed like everyone in my gym class was worried I would watch them change. Which didn't make sense, I wasn't attracted to any of them.

_'It's like they think gay people want everything with two legs and a heart beat... and a dick.'_

I keep my eyes fixated on the floor before I reach my locker. Reaching up I quickly put in my combination before popping the lock off and pulling my gym clothes out. I can hear the other nameless, faceless students leaving as they finish getting dressed.

After undoing my belt, I pop my shoes off before sliding my tan khaki's down. I waste no time pulling on my uniformed shorts. I can't stand not being dressed at school, especially when surrounded by so many other people.

_'Other people who hate me.'_

This is where the biggest hassle comes in, putting on my long-sleeve without somebody seeing my arms. I imagine all my previous success was purely luck, but who says I can be lucky forever?

Slowly, I unbutton my salmon colored cardigan, my heart begins to pound harder as I eye the long sleeve on the bench. By this time I'm the only one in my locker row, the privacy was welcomed but it also meant that time was running out and the coach may come to yell at me about hurrying.

_'Which would be worse..'_

After unbuttoning my dress shirt, I pull my cardigan and dress shirt off at the same time, not wanting to spend more time than necessary without my arms covered.

The sound of the locker room door opening startles me, the footsteps approaching cause my heart to pound as I quickly grab at my white long sleeve.

I can see shoes approaching me as I slide my arms into the sleeves and pull the shirt over my head.

Now covered, I look up to see Claude.

He's two lockers down, his dark brown eyes staring into mine as he puts his hand on the locker in-front of him.

'_Why is he in here? He wasn't here yesterday!'_

Looking away, I quickly straighten out my long-sleeve before pulling my gym shirt on.

I can feel Claude's eyes lingering on me, but I don't look at him for fear of making him angry again.

_'Did he see? What if he saw? Would he tell everybody? It's not like I can ask him! Why would he tell? It's not like he cares.. But would he use it against me?' _

I can't figure out if I was possibly caught by him with the cuts on my arm, but I decide to pretend like nothing has happened. It's not like I can say anything to him anyway, he would probably hit me for real.

_'Especially after I yelled at him in class..'_

After I finish tying my shoes, I load my personal belongings into my locker and lock it, I no longer feel his eyes on me, but the silence is deafening. I turn and pass him, walking down the long row towards the door. As I reach the end of the row, I turn to glance at him, curious of his silence.

_'He's... shirtless..'_

I feel my heart begin to pound harder as my eyes sweep over his body.

_'It's perfect...'_

Smooth muscles ripple around his arms and over his back, I can see one hip bone poking out from his boxers as he bends back slightly to examine the gym shirt he holds out in front of him.

His body looks flawless, smooth and free of self-inflicted wounds.

I can't help but grow self-conscious as my mind becomes hypnotized by the sight.

I had never seen anybody like this, I had never been attracted to anybody like this before.

And I couldn't help but wish he was playing on my side of the fence.

_'Although, I would never have a chance with him. He's out of my league, without a doubt.'_

The bell suddenly rings, disrupting my thoughts and causing me to quickly scramble for the door.

_'I hope he didn't see me.'_


	8. Chapter 8

Gym class leaves me sweating and exhausted. I shift my body weight to my left leg, my arms are sore from rubbing against the harsh fabric of my long sleeve but I ignore it.

Standing outside of the gym; I observe hoards of students who are busy mingling, and testing just how loud they can actually be.

Ciel had texted me, asking me to wait outside of the gym for him, apparently he was busy talking to his art teacher about an upcoming project.

Pulling out my phone, I stare at the message he sent me as though it may change to 'stand out front' or 'come to my classroom'. I didn't want to stand here out in the middle of school, I could feel the stares of the faceless, nameless students who look down on me. Ignoring it was proving to be a challenge as I feel my self-confidence plummet to a new low.

Suddenly the door to the gym bursts open, Claude appears, his hair dripping from the shower he had apparently taken. Surprise overtakes me, before the fear sets in. My survival instincts tell me 'Fight or Flight' and clearly I wasn't going to fight.

Noticing me, he snarls.

"What are you looking at, Princess?" He snaps before shoving me to the ground.

I catch myself on my elbow, my eyebrows scrunch up in pain as my anxiety builds again.

I can't bring myself to look at him, so I look away until he storms off.

"Sebastian!"

Looking up I can see Ciel running towards me, a frown sitting upon his normally smiling lips.

"Are you okay?" Holding out his hand, he helps me to my feet before I straighten out my clothes. I'm embarrassed that he saw that, I'm embarrassed that other students witnessed that, but I smile at my brother anyway. Not wanting to worry him further.

"It's alright, I'm fine."

Lie.

"Isn't that the new guy from Aunties cafe?! Claude?"

Nodding, I avert my eyes, rubbing my elbow self-consciously.

"It's okay. Don't worry about it. I just think he's having a bad day."

Lie again.

"You have to tell Auntie! She'll fire him you know!"

My eyes widen as I glance down at my worried brother. I notice his hair is slightly disheveled from running, I instinctively reach out and begin brushing it out with my fingers.

"Don't tell her, ok? It's not a big deal, I can't handle it. You don't have to worry about me, I should be the one worrying about you."

It wasn't a lie, I felt bad that my little brother was acting as my protector of sorts. As his older brother, I should definitely be the one doing that. What sort of brother am I?

Pushing my hand away, his cheeks tint a slight pinkish color.

"You can't let people treat you like that, Sebby! You deserve better."

"I'm sorry, Ciel. I'll handle it ok? Try not to worry about it, it's not your problem."

Ciel's frown spreads, but he gives me a defeated nod.

"Okay.. Just promise me that if it gets worse you'll tell Auntie."

I can't help but smile at how cute he looks with his shoulders hunched over in defeat.

"Yes, I promise. Now let's go home, I'm sure your stinky face could use a shower."

Laughing, Ciel shakes his head rapidly in embarassment.

"_I'm_ not the one who just came from gym! You're the one in desperate need of a shower! A _LONG_ one!"

I reach out and ruffle his hair, creating a mess of what I had only recently fixed.

"Mean, mean brother."

* * *

The fresh air feels good on my face as it brushes through my messy, black hair.

Stretching my arms above my head, I stand beside Ciel at the crosswalk near our apartment.

The walk home was mostly uphill, I think that would be my only complaint with this city.

"So far away!" I cry, pretending to die of exhaustion. Ciel laughs as he grabs onto my arm, lifting me up from the mid crouch position I had lowered myself to.

"Oh you'll live! Get up, we don't have that much further to go." Smiling at Ciel, we cross the street. The sounds of laughing and cars surrounds us. Tourists happily snap pictures of the skyscrapers, their fanny packs cause Ciel to laugh as he mimics their behavior.

"You really are mean aren't you?" I can't help but chuckle at his behavior. I knew he was only trying to cheer me up but it was unnecessary since simply being with him made me happy.

Grinning up at me, the blue/grey haired boy sticks his tongue out, his deep blue eyes smiling.

As we walk past the convention center, I notice a box next to the ramp for the parking garage.

"What.." I trail off as I break away from Ciel who gives me a perplexed look before following.

"What'cha looking at?" He asks as I near the box.

Pulling open a flap, I expose a small grey kitten.

Large golden eyes stare up at me as the kitten lets out a soft '_meow'_.

Instantly, my heart swells with affection. Cats, I love cats, they're perfect.

"Oh no."

Ciel mutters as I extract the soft grey kitten from the box.

"You know Auntie said no animals." He chimes in, but I ignore him.

"I'm keeping her." I wasn't really sure the kitten was even a girl but I didn't care.

"She's not going to let you."

"She will! Once she looks at this kitten she won't be able to say no. Just look at her!"

"But what if it's owner comes looking for it?" Ciel asks.

"She was abandoned, who leaves their pet in a box by a busy road? Nobody will come looking for her."

This realization was sad for me.

_'Nobody will come looking for this kitten.. Why?'_

"I'll take care of her, since whoever abandoned her won't."

I hold the kitten in my arms, positioning my body as to display her face to my younger brother who can't hide the soft blush on his face.

"She is cute."

"See! Aunt Angie won't be able to say no."

Ciel lets out a soft sigh before continuing to walk on. I can't lift my gaze from the adorable creature in my arms, I haven't felt this sort of happiness in a long time.

_'I don't want to lose this.'_

* * *

The rest of the walk home consisted of me adoring the small kitten in my arms, and Ciel laughing at my affection.

Struggling with the keys, Ciel finally unlocks the door to our condo.

"Auntie we're home!" He calls out excitedly.

"Sebastian has a new friend!"

Aunt Angelia's face pops out from behind another room.

"New friend?"

Her eyes then fixate on the small animal in my arms. I can't help but smile as the affection in my chest swells once again.

"No."

She says, her head disappearing behind the wall. My smile falters, replaced by a frown as my eyebrows scrunch together. I felt like a small child who was just told 'no' to a third cookie.

"Aunt Angie please, I promise I'll take care of her. Please!" I plead as I walk down the hall towards her.

I find her in the dimly lit bathroom, applying her make-up with the precision only a women could have.

"Why? You've never asked for a pet before, and do you even know how to take care of a cat?"

She doesn't move her eyes from the mirror as she continues to line her eye with some red pen I couldn't identify.

"I do! I've read all about them, I've wanted a cat for forever but I just didn't want to ask."

Sighing, she finally looks at me.

"What's her name?"

My frown spreads into wide grin as I blurt out the first time that comes to mind.

"Stella! Her name is Stella!"

I can hear Ciel laughing from the living room, but I ignore him as I watch my Aunt for any indication that she'll say yes.

"Fine-fine, but you're in charge of food and litter, Stella will be entirely your responsibility."

I can't stop myself from bouncing on my heels, the excitement practically flooded from every pore.

"Yes! Yes! Thank you! Thank you so much! I love you!"

I wrap my free arm around my Aunt, as she smiles at me.

"You're welcome. Now go shower then come down to the cafe."

"Of course! Yes! Anything you need!" I sprint off to my room with the small kitten in my arms. I had owned cat previously, when Ciel was younger. And the hopes of getting a new cat caused me to hold onto a litterbox and small amount of litter that remained.

"Stella, You're going to love it here. I promise." The small kitten meows at me as I kiss her on the nose.

After setting up her littlerbox, providing a small dish of water and some lunch meat, I head off to take my shower.

Thoughts of the gym slide through my mind as I close the bathroom door.

_'I hope Claude isn't working.. But I also hope he is.' _

* * *

_Awe Claude you're so mean! But Sebastian has a cat now! How cute! He loves cat's more than anything. ^.^_


	9. Chapter 9

_*_**_TRIGGER WARNING* _**_This particular chapter could be trigger for Eating Disorders! I'm sorry! I regret adding this aspect now but it's been mentioned previously so I sort of have to keep with it. . _

_Please don't read this if you are easily triggered!_

* * *

_'I hate him. He doesn't even know me, we've never had a conversation that wasn't one-sided and hostile. Why doesn't he like me? What did I do? Could my staring at him really have been so offensive? Is it really so offensive that he feels the need to be so mean to me?'_

I probably didn't appear very approachable as I wiped the tables in the dining area of the cafe. Nameless, faceless, customers are seated randomly around me, but they pay me no heed as they continue their conversations.

I can't help but look over my shoulder at the register.

_'He's smiling...'_

A smile sat upon Claude's lips as he handed the customer her change. I can feel the warm blush spreading across my face as I try to take a mental picture of his smile, try to remember how.. how...

_'How cute... he looks..'_

My cheeks grow hotter as I quickly turn around and stare at the, now, clean table.

_'Stop it! I don't like him.. I don't.. He's a bully. I don't like him.'_

Clenching my teeth, I force myself to focus on my work as I continue to bus various tables

I can hear Claude talking to the customers, I can hear him laughing.

_'Laughing?'_

He's laughing at a something a customer said. Out of the corner of my eye I can see him opening the pastry case and extracting something. My body screams at me to look at him, to take a mental picture of him laughing, but I force it down.

_'Focus, just focus on your work and go home.'_

I place more coffee mugs and dishes into my bin before carrying the heavy load back through the swinging door and into the kitchen. The loud banging sounds of the chefs baking fills my ears as I carry the bin back to the sink where our dish washer ignores me.

_'Like always..'_

Regardless of being the owners niece, the rest of the staff didn't feel the need to pay me any mind unless my Aunt was around. Ciel often expressed his annoyances with this, but I always shrug it off.

_'Being ignored, being bullied.. It's a way of life for me.'_

But Ciel doesn't understand that. And I don't want him too.

_'I enjoy his smile too much for that..'_

A sigh escapes my lips as I turn away and head back towards the main area of the kitchen. Beside a storage closet sat my Aunt's office, I poke my head in and find her typing away on her computer. Noticing me, she looks away from her computer and smiles.

"Sebastian! What's up?"

Nervously, I slide the rest of my body into her office and clasp my hands behind my back.

"Would you mind if I went home? I just have some things I want to take care of."

"Not at all, we have more than enough help here today and we're not too busy. Go ahead."

"Thank you.."

I leave her office, shutting the door behind me, and head to the apron rack by the back door.

Reaching behind me, I begin fiddling with the strings of the apron-attempting to untie them as I try to keep my mind occupied and away from..

_'Him..'_

"Damn't!" The curse slips out before I can stop it. I don't often curse, but I suppose today I was feeling a little more stressed out than normal.

_'Is it knotted? Why won't it untie!'_

I yank at the strings of the apron, feeling no give as I practically dance in front of the apron rack.

"Let me help you."

Instantly I freeze. The sound of Claude's voice tears like ice through my body as the smell of his cologne infiltrate my nose.

Next, I feel his hand lingering near the small of my back. His hands toying with the apron strings.

"It's a dead knot." He mumbles as he continues to pull at it.

My heart is beating a thousand beats a minute, It takes me a second to realize I'm holding my breath.

_'Why is he being nice to me?'_

Is my next thought as we stand in front of the apron rack. His hands momentarily brush against my back; even through my shirt I can't help but shiver at his touch. The blush creeping across my face is unmistakable.

"There."

I can feel the apron loosen as the strings drop to my sides. Turning around to thank him, I find him hurrying back towards swinging door. Before disappearing through the door, he pauses and looks back for a brief moment, his eyes locking onto mine.

"I..."

Claude opens his mouth to speak, his eyebrows furrow as a frown crosses his lips. Closing his mouth, he seems to decide against whatever he was going to say, and instead, disappears into the dining area.

I simply stand there, frozen in stunned silence as I stare at the door he vanished through.

_'What just happened?'_

* * *

I lay on my bed with Stella on my stomach. Her soft purring is the background noise for my thoughts as the incident from the kitchen plays over in my head like a broken record.

_'He helped me. Why? Doesn't he hate me?'_

None of what happened made sense to me, which was troubling.

_'I'm trying so hard to not like you.. And then you go and do this...'_

I couldn't help being slightly frustrated. None of it was making any sense to me. How can you be so mean to somebody, and then be so nice? What changed?

I can't help but think back on the way he pushed me after school.

"Stella I don't understand..."

The small kitten opens one eye before yawning and falling asleep again.

I stare at my ceiling, my thoughts weighing heavily on my mind as I try to make sense of today.

"Sebastian! It's time to eat!"

Ciel's voice causes me to jump.

"I'm not hungry!" I call back, this particular lie was very common for me.

_'Skipping dinner will make you thinner.'_

I had read that online somewhere, it seemed like a fair rule to live by so I had started skipping dinner.

"Auntie says you have to eat! Come on! We're waiting on you!"

I let out a quiet groan of protest as I lift the sleepy kitten off of me.

"I'm sorry, I'll be right back."

The kitten prances over to my pillow and curls up, falling straight asleep once more. I can't help but smile at how easily satisfied she is.

_'Cat's are perfect..'_

I shut my door quietly before heading to the dining room. Aunt Angie and Ciel are seated around the glass table. Three plates sit around the table, serving dishes filled with random, fattening foods fill the middle.

"There you are! It's getting cold so you guys help yourselves."

I eye the food nervously. Cheesy mashed potatoes with heaps of sour cream and bacon bits, pork chops, broccoli covered in fatty cheese. It all smelled so good, but I couldn't help the fear which welled in my chest as I try to calculate the calories and fat content of it all.

_'Too much..'_

My anxiety begins peaking as I stare at the food, I don't know what to do.

Aunt Angie begins eyeing me, watching me stare at the food while Ciel helps himself to king sized portions.

"Sebastian do you want me to make your plate?"

My eyes snap over to our Aunt, before I shake my head.

"No.. I'll do it."

When Ciel finishes piling onto his mound, I grab the serving utensil.

_'Just get a small amount of everything..'_

I lift my plate and carefully add a small amount of everything, deciding I would eat half the pork chop then claim I was full.

Aunt Angie never takes her eyes off me, watching as I fill my plate with minuscule amounts.

But she doesn't breath a word.

* * *

After dinner, Ciel and I clean up before heading off to our rooms. Our Aunt had gone back down to the Cafe to monitor closing procedures leaving Ciel and I to do whatever we wanted.

The sound of car horns fills my ears as I stare out my window at the busy city streets below. It was only Wednesday, but I was already ready for Friday.

_'And I have to see him tomorrow..'_

My thoughts slide back to Claude, instantly I find my mood plummeting from bad to worse.

His rapid mood swings were becoming too much for me to handle. Just would could I expect tomorrow? Happy? Angry? Sad? I wasn't sure anymore.

Dropping onto my butt, I lay on my floor, letting my hand drape over my stomach.

"Too much.." I mutter thinking about all the food I had stuffed myself with.

I ended up eating the entire pork chop and even getting a second serving of the mashed potatoes which seemed to make my Aunt happy.

_'I shouldn't have.'_

I can feel the soft roundness of food in my belly as I begin rubbing my stomach with my hand.

My thoughts flash to the bathroom, to my secret.

_'Just get rid of it.. Get rid of it before you gain weight.'_

I contemplate the idea for a moment.

I didn't often purge, I would only do it when I was upset or if I had really eaten far too much food and felt nauseous anyway.

This is the first time I've wanted to do it just because I ate a little more than I wanted to.

Rolling over onto my stomach, I crawl to my knees and head to my door.

Opening it a crack, I look over to Ciel's room down the hall only to find his door shut completely, the sound of rock music can be heard softly through the closed door.

_'Perfect.'_

Slipping out of my room, I head towards the bathroom next door to my room. Both Ciel and I share a bathroom, so I had to be very careful about how I did this because leaving any traces behind could be dangerous.

_'And Ciel can't know.'_

Shutting the bathroom door, I lock it and immediately turn on both faucets full blast. The sound of heavy water running drowns out all sound as I drop to my knees in-front of the toilet.

My heart races, doing this was always nerve-wracking for me.

_'Because it's wrong.'_

Lifting both the lid and the toilet seat, I stare down at my reflection in the water.

_'You deserve this.'_

It only takes me twenty minutes to get it all out. But I keep going, I keep begging the endorphins to take away my pain.

Over, and over, and over, and over.

* * *

Shutting the faucets off, I exit the bathroom only to find Ciel leaning against the wall across from the bathroom door.

My heart drops.

His arms are crossed, his eyes cast down to the floor as I notice a stream of tears leaking from his good eye.

Looking up, he meets my gaze. His large blue eyes are blood shot from crying, his face is swollen.

"Sebby..." He whispers as he begins to sob.

I drop to my knees again, wrapping my arms around him I bury my face in his chest.

"Stop it, Stop it.. Please.. I hear you.. I hear you every time... Stop it."

I want to cry, I want to rewind time and take it back.

I never knew he could hear me. I never knew that he knew.

Why does he know?

"I'm sorry."

That's all I can say.

"It's okay, Ciel. Please stop crying. It'll be okay. I won't do it again. I promise. I promise."

Even as I consoled my brother, I felt like I was also consoling myself.

_'It will be okay.'_

"It will be okay."

* * *

_Sorry for ending on bad feels! I'm still trying to get some character building out of the way but hopefully I'll be able to start ending on good feels too! I feel like this story is already written and I'm just writing it. O.o_

_Claude what is up with you? You make no sense! MAKE SENSE FOR ONCE!_


	10. Chapter 10

To say I didn't sleep well last night, would be a massive understatement. After consoling Ciel about what he had witnessed, he pleaded to sleep with me and ended up pushing me off my bed in the middle of the night.

Not that I could really sleep before that, my mind was too occupied with thoughts of Claude and worrying that Ciel would lose his smile again because of me.

I don't have any plans on breaking my promise to Ciel, no, I won't continue to purge if it makes him cry. Especially now that he knows. But that would only partially solve one of my problems, what do I do about Claude?

My head rests in my arms as I wait for the bell to ring. First period math class, my stomach was in hopeless knots as I wonder whether Claude will show or not.

I can feel my eyes growing heavy, the lack of sleep just starting to catch up with me as I yawn.

_'Maybe.. I'll just close my eyes for a moment.'_

* * *

"Sebastian? Wake up! You can't sleep in my class."

I crack one eye open, lifting my head slightly, I look up to see my teacher standing beside me with her arms crossed. She does not look pleased..

"O-oh.. I'm sorry, I d-didn't mean to sleep." I can feel my cheeks growing hot as the stares from the other students bore into me.

"Well then perhaps instead of staying up late, you get to bed at a reasonable hour."

I stare down at my desk, embarrassed about having all this attention drawn to me.

"I'm s-sorry.. It w-won't h-happen again.."

Ms. Vaughn walks away. Her heels make a horrible _'click, click'_ sound as she walks back to her desk. I self-consciously grab my elbow as I stare at my lap before noticing something near my feet.

I notice shoes, black converse like my own but not mine.

_'Claude.. When did he get here?'_

I can't bring myself to look at him. I'm still far too confused about his behavior, it makes little sense for him to be mean then suddenly nice.

_'Why? Was it just because we were at work?'_

I find it almost impossible to focus as my teacher moves about the room pretending like math can ever possibly be 'fun'. Even the worksheet I was given remained mostly blank as I couldn't seem to finish a problem without forgetting what I was doing.

I can see Claude from the corner of my eye, he solves the entire worksheet with lightening speed, after flipping it over he leans back in his chair. I can't tell if he's staring at me but I can feel his eyes on me.

_'Or maybe that's just me being paranoid..'_

After solving the last problem, I flip my sheet over and stare at the blank page on the back until the bell finally rings. Before leaving I hand in my worksheet, Claude is directly behind me but I pretend not to notice.

For some reason I had decided to wear my olive green cardigan with my blue jeans today. I was starting to regret it because olive green wasn't exactly my color.

_'But when did I start caring about that?'_

The hallway is loud as students press against each other, trying to get to class before the bell rings. I push myself into the swarm and move with the current knowing I had to stop by my locker first to get my government book.

I wanted to look behind me, to see if Claude was there. But I didn't want to know at the same time.

_'Lately my mind is as confusing as his actions.'_

Upon reaching my locker, I can't help but stop and stare. The warning bell rings causing many students to run to their classrooms giving me more room to stand back and stare at my locker.

_'Fuck you faggot'_

_'Somebody... my locker... Why?' _

I stare at the graffiti on my locker for what felt like forever. The ugly red lettering covers the entire front, free for anybody to see.

"Well it's not like they're wrong eh, Princess?"

Claude's voice penetrates my thoughts as he walks past me, smirking.

_'Did he do this?'_

A blush covers my entire face as I feel my ears grow hot with an obscene amount of both anger and embarrassment.

_'I should clean this.. I should clean this.'_

The final bell rings, the bell that tells me I'm now late for class which would mean a lecture and a mark against me. Too many marks and I'll end up in detention which I didn't want to deal with.

Sighing, I open my locker and take out my government book. I try not to look at the mess on my locker as I close it and re-lock it.

_'I'll clean it.. later.. It's not like the whole school hasn't already seen it.. I'm sure there's photos of it on facebook.' _

Almost as though it was planned, my phone buzzes with a text message. I look around for a teacher before pulling my phone out.

'**Ciel:**

_Keep your head up, Sebby. Don't worry about what other people think._'

I slide my phone back in my pocket, not wanting to risk having it taken by a teacher as I head towards my Government class. A small part of me still somehow hoped that I wouldn't get in trouble for being so late.

'_High hopes, high hopes.'_

* * *

The sound of the lunch bell pulls me from the worksheet I currently held my nose in. Immediately the other students begin collecting their backpacks while my Psychology teacher yells out our homework.

Today's lesson had been particularly trying as it covered Self-Harm. I couldn't help but notice my teachers eyes continuously drifting to me as he spoke.

_'There's no possible way he could know, stop being paranoid. Just because Ciel noticed your occasional purging, doesn't mean everyone will magically notice your arms.'_

After putting my worksheet away, I gather my books in my arms and head into the busy hallway.

Thoughts of my graffitied locker slip back into my thoughts but I push them away, not wanting to deal with it right now. Ciel had texted me during class, saying he would help me clean it after school, but I was embarrassed in the meantime.

_'Though it's not like everyone hating you is a secret exactly.'_

I can hear side comments from students behind me as I push within the crowd towards the cafeteria. I ignore the comments, I ignore the names, the insults and the giggles. None of that matters, what matters is that Ciel is happy and that I graduate.

_'And that they don't start bullying him..'_

That concern had crossed my mind a few times, though it seemed like Ciel was doing well for himself with making friends and maintaining a neutral stand-point with everyone.

But that could always change.

_'It won't. Don't think about that. Ciel is a great kid, everyone will leave him alone.'_

Shrugging it off, I look up from my shoes as the crowd in-front of me slowly breaks apart as everyone exits down various hallways, disappearing into random classrooms.

I considered myself lucky to have 'A' block lunch. Lunch periods at my school are broken into three segments. 'A, B & C' as to prevent an overflow of students from attempting to all cram into the small cafeteria.

However, having C lunch is considered 'unfortunate' as most of the food has been sitting out or has already been picked through.

_'I wish I had lunch with Ciel.. Though I wouldn't be able to sit with him. They'd surely pick on him if they saw me with him.'_

Ciel had been given B lunch. I had seen him in the halls only a few times, but he was usually surrounded by friends and didn't notice me.

"Hey, Princess!"

I turn around and see Claude walking up behind me holding a single textbook on his shoulder.

Swinging the textbook to his side, he comes up beside me, I stare straight ahead, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of seeing the anxiety in my eyes.

"Ignoring me huh? Man that's harsh.. What did I ever do to deserve that?"

I remain silent as I turn down a random hallway. Lockers line the vacant hall as I walk with no intended destination. I had no desire to be followed to the cafeteria, but where could I go?

"Has anybody ever told you that you're rude?" Claude laughs, but I refuse to look at him.

"This is too funny, Princess is ignoring me now! How cute."

Stepping out in-front of him, I clench my fists at my side.

"Could y-you please s-stop b-bothering me?"

Raising one eyebrow, Claude steps towards me before grabbing my shoulder and pushing me against a locker. He slams one of his hands against the locker above my head, bringing his face within inches of mine he smirks.

"You're funny."

I can't help but slink back, turning my face to the side I can feel the anxiety welling in my chest even more.

"W-Why are you d-doing this? W-What d-did I do?"

Turning to face him, I meet his gaze.

Claude doesn't respond, his eyes stare into mine as he seems lost for words.

After a seemingly long silence, he grab my tie and yanks me towards him, but he remains silent.

My eyes never leave his, I can see a portion of my reflection in his brown eyes. His cologne invades my nose again as Claude's eyes search my face for any sort of reaction.

"Leave him alone!" The feminine voice surprises both Claude and I as our eyes dart to the right.

Heading towards us in a fury is a tall boy with long and intense red hair.

"Let him go! Leave him alone, Claude!"

Claude releases my tie and steps back, his eyes sweep over the newcomer.

But the nameless boy never falters, holding the same glare as his eyes bore into Claude like daggers.

"What is he your boyfriend?" Claude spits out at the boy.

"Would it matter if he was? Leave him alone." The boy takes a few steps towards Claude, who then slinks back before storming off into another hallway.

I can't help but stare at the strange student as he approaches. A smile now covers his face as he reaches out and begins to fix my tie.

"Don't let him bully you like that. If you never stand up for yourself he'll never stop."

"W-who are you?" I question as I watch the boy's eye's carefully. They're a strange green and gold color, very unusual, so unusual I think they might be contacts.

Smiling, he releases my now fixed tie.

"My name is Grell, Grell Stufcliff. What's your name?"

"I-I'm Sebastian Michaelis."

"Well Sebastian, you just made a new friend. I hope you don't mind." Grell smiles wide, his smile makes me feel happy.

_'Almost the way Stella makes me feel.'_

"I don't, no.. I'm g-glad. But c-can I ask y-you something?"

"Sure, shoot."

"What's his problem? I don't recall ever doing anything to make him hate me.."

My eyes drop to the floor, I'm a little ashamed of my situation but I know I need help. I need somebody other than Ciel to tell me how to deal with this.

"Ah that's a toughy.. Claude is well... Well first of all his full name is Claude Faustus. Secondly, Claude used to be part of this big gang downtown but he left and apparently he's been trying to rebuild his life, get some normalcy you know? But I don't know, I don't think it's that easy to leave a gang. I figure he must be taking out his stress on you."

_'Claude was in a gang?'_

"How do you know all of this?"

"His parents are family friends, he was a lot of fun as a kid. I don't know what happened though, he just changed suddenly and I don't know.. We never hung out after that."

Grell shrugs, before slipping his arm over my shoulders and guiding me back towards the cafeteria.

"But you know, we should go eat, Bassie. It's your lunch period too right? I think I've seen you in the cafeteria before. Lets go eat before all the good stuff is gone!"

_'Bassie?'_

"Okay, that sounds good. I am pretty hungry.."

* * *

_Hey Grell! Welcome to my fanfic! So nice of you to join us! =D_


	11. Chapter 11

This is my first lunch period where I'm not alone. I had never had a friend to eat with before, so I wasn't exactly sure what to do.

_'Do we eat first then talk? Or do we talk while we eat? Maybe I should wait and see what he does..'_

We have our own table in the back of the packed cafeteria. Whispers from the other students who gossip about our relationship reach my ears as Grell bites into his sandwich, seemingly unfazed by the talk. Rubbing my hands over my thighs, I stare down at my chips suddenly self-conscious.

Grell, noticing my silence, puts his sandwich down, rubs the crumbs off his hands before leaning over the table and putting his face within inches of mine.

"Hey!" He half yells. The surprise jolts me, falling backwards I land on the hard tile floor causing half of the cafeteria to roar with laughter. My face blushes a bright red as I prop myself up onto my elbows.

Grell gets up from his chair, walking around the circular table, he crouches down next to me and extends his hand.

"Sorry, you just looked like you needed a wake-up call. I didn't think you'd fall!" Grell starts chuckling, a smile remaining across his bright face.

I can't help but laugh as I take his hand.

"It's okay, I don't mind."

After brushing myself off, we both sit back down. Ignoring the other students, we are suddenly isolated in our own little world.

"So do you live near here?" Grell asks as he begins to eat again. I dig out a chip and eat it before responding.

"Yeah, I live up on Pine past the Convention center." I point wildly in the general direction of my apartment, suddenly turned around with my directions.

Laughing, Grell just nods.

"I see, I see. Well I live over on Lower Queen Anne." He begins pointing in all directions including the sky as he mocks me.

We both stare at each other for a second before cracking up laughing again.

"That's not too far from me, only a couple of miles."

"You can come over sometime if you want." My cheeks burn red as I look away, embarrassed.

_'He's going to say no..'_

"Sure! That sounds like fun. Do you play video games?"

I look at Grell, suddenly excited and smiling.

"Yes! I love video games! I prefer horror games and role play games! What do you play?"

Finished with his sandwich, Grell begins mushing all his trash into a ball.

"I like games like Call of Duty but I like playing role plays! We should play together! What console do you use?"

"I use my computer but I have a 360 too if you prefer that?"

The bell abruptly rings, interrupting our conversation and causing the sea of students to stand and begin throwing their trash out. Standing, Grell and I do the same before heading back towards our classes.

"It doesn't matter, I play both. Hey, here let me give you my number." Grell pulls his backpack off and begins digging through it before ripping a piece of paper and grabbing a pen. After scribbling his number on the scrap of paper, he hands it to me with a smile.

"Call me or text me any time! I just don't look at my phone in school so not here."

Smiling, I nod at the red haired boy. He is so nice, how did I manage to become friends with him?

"Well my class is over here." Grell points down a hallway which holds most of the computer classes. "Okay, I'll text you later!" I call out as he disappears into the sea of students. As I retract my hand, I notice a familiar face behind me.

'_Claude..'_

His eyebrows were pulled together, a frown pulling on his face.

_'He looks... sad..'_

The sound of the warning bell pulls me out of my thoughts as I quickly begin squeezing through the crowd towards my classroom.

_'I can't be late again!'_

* * *

I walk into the crowded locker room, ignoring the whispers I head to my locker and pull it open.

My cut's are mostly healed by now and not very noticeable, so I changed my shirt first before my removing my pants and putting my gym shorts on.

After seeing Claude in the hallway I was having a difficult time keeping him out of my thoughts.

He had looked so sad, and I didn't understand why. Maybe something about the gang? Or maybe some personal problems?

It's a little hard to imagine Claude having personal problems, but he's human so surely he must have his own problems.

'_He has his own problems.. And yet he seems to take pleasure into adding onto other people's problems.. Why?'_

After re-locking my locker, I head down to the gym where my coach is waiting.

Coach Will, he has very little patience for lateness and always works us to the bone.

_'Which is the reason I always leave this class sweating so hard.'_

My shoes squeak on the freshly waxed floor of the gym as I can feel Coach Will's eyes on me.

The final bell rings, taking my spot on the gym floor, I notice Claude isn't here yet.

_'Maybe he ditched? It wouldn't surprise me..'_

"Okay class, today I'm announcing a new segment which we'll be starting."

"What? Jumping through fiery pits? Sprinting across hot coals?"

One student chimes in, his smart-aleck comment causes the gym to erupt in laughter which does not amuse Coach Will.

"Actually, I was announcing that we will begin Water Polo next week and that each of you need to have these forms signed by your parents. And I was also going to say that today we were going to play dodgeball."

My classmates begin to get excited, smiles plastered on each of their faces.

"But due to Mr. Murphy's comment, you'll all be running ten laps around the track today. So you can thank Mr. Murphy for the change in plans."

* * *

The entire class period goes by with no sign of Claude. I didn't know how to feel about him not showing up, it seemed like my mind couldn't decide on how it felt about that.

Pulling my phone out, I text Ciel and tell him to meet me by my locker in ten minutes. Ciel had offered to help me clean my locker off earlier, I was in charge of bringing the bucket of water while he was going to bring sponges and a wash cloth from his art class.

After stopping by the janitors closet, I'm given a dirty green bucket which I promptly take to the boy's bathroom and empty of the questionable, brown water it contained. After rinsing the bucket a few times, I fill it with clean water before heading upstairs to where my locker awaited.

The bucket was heavy, not too heavy for me, but worrisome to carry as the water seemed to slosh around relentlessly with each step I took.

I take one stair at a time, my arms slowly begin to feel like the weight of the bucket is pulling them out, lengthening them.

_'I should really start working out or something.. I don't think it's normal to be this weak.'_

As I lug the bucket down the hall towards my locker, I see Ciel standing in the middle of the hall, washcloths and sponges in hand, starting at all of the lockers with a confused stare.

"Hey! You ready?" I ask with a smile as I lug the heavy bucket towards him.

"Uh... You said your locker is number 682 right?"

"Yeah why?" I ask before noticing what his issue was.

As I approach I can see my locker which is completely clean, no evidence of the graffiti remained.

"What?" I set the bucket down and stare in disbelief at my locker. Stunned, I can't tell if my eyes are playing tricks on me or not.

"Do I need to start wearing my glasses again.. Or is my locker really clean?"

"It's really clean.. Maybe the janitor cleaned it?" He suggests as he looks away from my locker and to me.

"But I was just down there.. Wouldn't they have said something?" I wonder out-loud as I hear a classroom door open.

"Is that your locker?"

Both Ciel and I look towards the sound of the voice and find a female teacher leaning out of her door.

"Yeah, it's m-mine."

She smiles at both Ciel and I.

_'Don't pity me, please.'_

"A boy came by and cleaned it earlier, he wouldn't tell me whose locker it was but he cleaned it all off. Is he a friend of yours?"

Confused, I look to Ciel who awkwardly shakes his head.

"What did he look like?" I question, finding my curiosity growing.

_'Maybe it was Grell?'_

"Ah a little taller than you, black hair, blue hoodie, black gloves without fingers. Do you know him?"

_'Claude? Claude cleaned it? Why would he do that?'_

"Sort of." I respond sheepishly as I grab my elbow. I could feel my cheeks burning as my confusion grew.

_'Claude never makes sense, he's mean, then he's nice, then he's mean again. It doesn't make sense. What is he thinking?'_

"Well make sure you thank him! He worked on it for over an hour! Normally I would've wrote him up for skipping class but it seemed like he wouldn't move no matter what."

My blush deepens as I imagine Claude scrubbing my locker clean.

"I will, thank you." Ciel thanks the teacher as well who then disappears back into her classroom leaving Ciel and I in the vacant hallway alone.

"Doesn't Claude bully you?" Ciel asks, his blue eyes meeting my brown ones.

"Yeah.. Or.. I don't know anymore."

My confusion was blatant as a million thoughts rolled through my mind at once.

_'What am I supposed to think when he goes and does things like this? Not just this but the incident in the kitchen when he unknotted my apron.. I don't know whether to like him or to hate him.'_

"He's weird isn't he?" Smiling, Ciel balls up the washcloths and sponges, shoving them into his pocket, he begins walking back towards the staircase.

"Yes, yes he is." I mutter as I pick up the bucket and begin to follow him.

* * *

Although Claude had skipped gym class, he didn't skip work. Upon entering the kitchen I notice him carrying the trash out. Our eyes meet briefly, before his face reddens and he looks away.

_'Okay.. That was weird.'_

I try not to think too much about it and grab an apron off the rack. After tying it in a bow as to avoid knotting it again, I head over to my Aunt's office. The door is slightly cracked, pushing it open I pop my head in.

"Aunt Angie? What do you need me to do?"

Looking away from her computer to me, she smiles.

"Oh, sorry I wasn't home when you guys got there. It's just been so busy today! Actually I need a favor from you."

"Sure, what do you need?"

"We're a little backed up today so all the chef's are busy baking. I was wondering if you could teach Claude how to decorate a cake? We have about four that need to be decorated still."

My heart sinks into my chest as a frown crosses my lips. Glancing away awkwardly, I know I can't refuse.

_'But working with Claude again and his massive mood swings.. This could be difficult.'_

"Yes of course, where are the orders?"

Digging through a stack of papers, she pulls out four sheets of paper with specialized instructions for the cake.

"Just make it look nice and make sure you spell everything right. Don't over do the frosting either." She raises her eyebrows and smiles as I take the pages from her.

"_That_ was Ciel! I don't do that." She laughs at my tease before turning back to her computer.

"He's up front, just grab him and have him help you prepare so he can see the entire process."

"Will do."

I leave her office, my heart slams into my chest over and over as I push the swinging door open, exposing the _very_ crowded and _very_ loud dining area.

I instantly spot Claude on the register, Ciel is pulling various pastries from the case as customers call out their orders.

_'When did he sneak behind me? Wasn't he taking out the trash? Is he already done?'_

I walk behind the glass cases filled with pastries to the registers where Claude and Ciel wait.

My throat feels tight as the anxiety slowly wells. I could feel customers staring at me, wondering if I was also going to help out.

After Claude finishes up a customers order, I tap his arm to get his attention.

Upon noticing me, he blushes slightly before asking what I want.

"I w-was told to teach y-you h-how to d-decorate the c-cakes. We're a l-little backed u-up on t-the orders."

Looking away, he signs off the register and steps away.

"Fine, just show me what to do."

Ciel notices Claude leaving and gives me a frantic look as the line of customers slowly grows.

'_I'm sorry' _I mouth as I guide Claude towards the kitchen.

As soon as we get into the kitchen I go straight to my Aunt's office and tell her that Ciel is going to need help on the register. She finishes up whatever she was typing on her computer before heading up front to take a register.

Claude stands behind the prep table, staring down at the wooden top of it.

"First.. We need to wash our hands."

I shyly avoid eye contact as I walk behind the prep table to the sink on the wall behind it. Pulling up my sleeves I wash my hands while trying to ignore the fact that I love the way he smells.

Claude stands next to me, this awkward silence is unbearable as I finish washing my hands then wait on him to finish.

I notice he begins to remove his gloves, at this point he positions his body as to block my view.

_'Well ok then."_

After washing his hands, I retrieve the cakes that are listed on the order and place them on the counter behind the prep table.

I lay out the first order, before finally turning to Claude. Taking a deep breath, I begin listing off what we need and where it's located. Much to my surprise, Claude doesn't insult me, he doesn't say anything rude at all, he just retrieves everything. Looking down, I realize his gloves are on again, but covered by latex gloves.

_'Does he never take them off?'_

"Have you ever frosted a cake before?" I question as I place the cake in the middle of the table. Grabbing the spatula, I begin to stir the chocolate frosting the chefs had prepared earlier.

"Yeah, a few times."

"Do you know how to do this? Have you ever done it with a spatula?"

The blush returns, slowly filling his cheeks with a light pink tint as I look up at him, awaiting a response.

"No, I mean, I've seen my mom do it but I've never done it.. I always used a butter knife."

I can't help but laugh which earns me a glare from the tall newbie.

"I'll show you, it's easier with a spatula."

I spend about twenty minutes showing Claude how to frost the cake without ripping it before handing him the spatula and letting him try.

Claude's face twists in a mixture of excitement and confusion as he slowly smoothes the frosting over the cake.

When a fair amount of frosting covers the cake, I tell him to stop and carefully examine the cake for errors.

"This look great! Good job!" Grinning at Claude, I reach for the pastry bag I had him pull out.

"This is just for special decorations around the base and edges, you've probably seen it before." I hold up the plastic bag with the nozzle on the end which seems to capture his interest.

"I'll show you how, and then you do it. Okay?" One corner of his mouth turns up.

Carefully, I walk him through how to use it, recommending that he try on a small plate before using it on the cake.

I find myself slowly calming down, the anxiety disappears replaced by something else.

Something I can't quite describe, it's happy, but it's different.

"Okay now you try."

Handing him the pastry bag, I instruct him to squeeze it depending on how much he wanted.

"Press the nozzle lightly to the cake then pull away and stop whe-.." I'm cut off as Claude accidentily squeezes the bag too hard, spraying chocolate frosting all over my face.

I stand there, blinking and stunned for a moment as Claude stares at me with his mouth agape, Before we both begin roaring with laughter.

Frosting drips down over my nose, covering my cheeks and sitting lazily on my hair. Reaching out, Claude steals some frosting off my nose with his finger. Popping his finger in his mouth, he smiles at me.

"You taste delicious."

I can't help but laugh, wanting a little payback, I wipe some frosting off my face and onto Claude's cheek. Blushing furiously, he laughs even harder causing him to fall to his knee's holding his stomach and laughing.

"Now you taste delicious too."

The door to the kitchen swings open, My Aunt looks around before spotting me.

"What happened to you? Where is Claude?" It takes me a moment to stop laughing before pointing down at Claude who is slowly climbing to his feet, wiping the tears which were now streaming from both his eyes.

Noticing the frosting on his face, Aunt Angie begin to chuckle as she waves him over to her.

"I need you to take over the register, I have to make a phone call."

Reaching into her pocket, she extracts a napkin and hands it to Claude.

"Wipe off your face before you go out there! Geez you two! Getting crazy with the frosting I see."

She smiles at both of us as Claude wipes the frosting off his face. A sly grin still resting on his lips as he disappears behind the door.

My Aunt gives me a strange look as she saunters back to her office.

"Making friends with the new guy huh?" She winks at me before closing her door.

A warm blush slides over my face as I realize what has just happened.

The strange emotions I was feeling, these are things I've never felt before, I don't know what they are.

_'Claude.. Me.. Laughing... And I didn't stutter once.. I didn't.. He makes me feel so strange, why do I feel this way?'_

* * *

_Ah I know this chapter is looonnnngggg... I'm sorry but I just didn't want to put that frosting scene in the next chapter. D=_


	12. Chapter 12

It's finally Friday, the day I've been waiting for since school originally started.

Ciel had crawled into my bed last night after a nightmare, and yet again he kicked me out of my bed. Although I was annoyed at being woken up by crashing into my floor at 3am; I couldn't be mad, Ciel looks cute when he's sleeping.

I stifle a yawn as Claude enters my classroom. Our eyes meet causing us both to turn a little red. But instead of looking away, Claude smiles at me, and I can't help but smile back.

Memories of our frosting incident in the kitchen play through my head causing me to blush harder.

_'Does this mean, Claude likes me? Or.. Maybe he really just likes me as a friend? I don't think he even plays on the same side of the fence as me.. He probably just wants to be friends. Which is still a little strange considering how he used to treat me.'_

Taking his seat next to me, Claude sets his backpack down between our chairs and pulls out his spiral notebook and pencils. I sneak glances of him from the corner of my eye every chance I get. Today he wears a black zip up jacket with a green shirt underneath, jeans, converse and his gloves of course.

_'He looks good in everything..'_

I look down at my own clothes, a green button down dress shirt, my favorite yellow bow tie, jeans, and converse.

_'What would he ever see in a nerd like me?'_

* * *

First period goes by too quickly. Throughout the class period I could almost swear that Claude would look at me randomly, but I wasn't sure. It was just that, I would see his eyes looking in my direction a lot.

_'But maybe he was just looking out the window.'_

As I move through the sea of students in the hallway, I feel a hand on my shoulder before I'm shoved forward. After knocking into the group of students in front of me, they turn around to glare at me.

"Watch it, freak."

"Don't touch me, faggot. I don't want to get AIDS!"

My cheeks burn as I stare at the floor, muttering an apology.

I didn't bother turning around to see who did it, there isn't very many people at this school who _wouldn't_ do something like that.

_'Why won't they just leave me alone?'_

My embarrassment doesn't fade, even as I enter my Government class and take my seat. My fingers move again to the blade I keep in my pocket, but I try to push the thoughts away.

_'It won't help. It won't.'_

Although I was aware that my problems would not magically be solved by using my blades, I lived for the few minutes of relief it provided me with.

Recently I had started thinking about quitting, not cutting anymore and therefore avoiding Ciel ever finding out.

But at the same time, there is a slight amount of evidence spread through my body,

I glance down at my arms as the bell rings. Ugly, swollen, pink and purple lines mark my arms in various places, varying in size and shape depending on how deep I had cut.

I run my fingers over the scars on my right arm, since I'm left handed the scars on my right arm were quite a bit worse than the ones on my left.

It's easier to cut with the hand you write with, but that's probably common knowledge, even to people who have never self-harmed.

My teachers voice pulls me from my thoughts, causing me to look up to the front of the room where he stood.

"Good morning! Does everybody have their textbooks? You're going to need them!"

* * *

"So you work with Claude too? How? Is he nice to you at work?"

I finish chewing my burger as Grell gives me a curious look. We're at the same table we sat at yesterday, apparently this table is the only one nobody wants to sit at.

_'But there is always one of those in every cafeteria.'_

Swallowing my food, I smile at the red headed boy.

"That's what's weird.. He's nice to me at work. He's unusually nice to me there. I don't know what he's thinking. It's like he has split personalities or something."

"Maybe he does. Dissociative Identity Disorder is a real issue you know!" Grell and I laugh at the thought. While it isn't completely impossible, it just isn't a likely explanation.

"Yeah, somehow I doubt that! Maybe he's only mean to me at school because everyone else is."

The thought had crossed through my mind before, but it sounded that much more pathetic out-loud.

"Well than he's definitely not somebody you'd want to call a _friend_. That's a jerkish thing to do."

Nodding, I mull our conversation over in my head. Grell had lot of good points.

"Let's just say he is only mean to me here because everyone else is, what if he just left me alone and you know.. We didn't talk but he wasn't mean either?"

Grell balls up his trash again, his eyes cast down as I can see the wheels in his brain turning.

"I still think that's not right. You should never be ashamed of your friends, and if you are, then you're not really friends."

"Yeah, you're probably right.."

"Why would you want to be friends with him anyway? He's not the friendliest person."

Popping a chip in my mouth, I finish chewing before responding.

"Well, I don't know. Just something about him, I just want to be his friend, not his enemy." I can't help but shrug as I say this. I didn't want to tell Grell how I really felt, nor did I want to tell him about the incident in the kitchen.

_'I just don't know him well enough to divulge such personal thoughts.. Not yet at least.'_

"Well, just be careful. That's all I can say. I've noticed his younger brother has been getting pretty close to your brother too."

I immediately lock eyes with Grell.

"He has a brother? How do you know my brother? How do you know this?"

"Whoa, whoa calm down. I have art class with him, I have art class with both of them. Michaelis isn't exactly a popular name and even though you guys don't look alike, he reminds me of you. Him and Alois have been all '_buddy buddy'_ in class lately. I don't know if it's something Claude wanted him to do, I have no idea. But I just thought you should know."

Looking away from Grell, I ignore the sound of the bell ringing and the sea of students clamoring to their classes.

_'What if Claude is targeting Ciel using his brother? And since when does Claude have a brother anyway?'_

_"_Are you sure it's Claude's brother?" I ask as I finally raise from the table.

Grell sighs, crossing his arms as we walk back towards our classes.

"Don't tell anybody I told you this ok? But Alois is adopted, so yes they're brothers and no they're not at the same time, if that makes sense?"

"I see... And do you think Alois would really do something like that? I mean, is he nice?"

"I wouldn't think he would, but Claude might be threatening him. Nothing that Alois does tells me that Ciel's in any real danger, they seem to be good friends, but with Claude in the picture you just never know."

Turning down the hall which hold's Grell's class, I try to make sense of all this new information.

_'So Alois may or may not be a snake in this field of flowers? Fantastic.'_

"Is Claude really that bad?"

I turn and look at Grell who frowns at me before looking back at the tile floor.

"He's not.. Not really.. He's a nice guy deep down, but I just think he gets himself into bad situations you know?"

"Leave me alone!"

Both of our eyes snap over to our right where the voice was coming from. Behind the staircase is Claude with a freshman boy on the ground in front of him. The boy has a panicked look on his face as Claude dumps the contents of his backpack on the ground. Throwing the black backpack at the boy's face, Claude lifts his foot like he's going to kick the boy.

Anger surges through me, I take off running to the boy's aid. Grell calls after me but I ignore him as my eyes fixate on Claude.

I drop to my knee's in-front of the boy, throwing my arm out protectively, I glare up at Claude who appears surprised.

_'Did he stop targeting me just to target someone else?'_

"Leave him alone!" I shout at Claude, my eyebrows furrow together in anger as I lock my eyes with his.

Putting his foot back down, Claude takes a few steps back, seemingly unsure of what to do now.

"Don't pick on somebody else! If you have to bully somebody then bully me!"

That's not what I wanted, I didn't want to be bullied. But if it came down to me or somebody else, I wanted it to be me he bullied. I know that mentally I can handle it, but I wasn't sure about everybody else.

He opens his mouth, but seems to forget what he wanted to say or decide against it because he closes his mouth and instead, leaves. I watch him, my eyes never moving until I see him disappear into another hallway.

Grell walks over, his mouth agape and eyes wide as he looks at me.

"Sebastian what was that?!" He exclaims enthusiastically.

"I don't know.."

Lowering my arm, I begin collecting the contents of the boy's backpack. The boy is shaking as he helps me collect his things.

"Thank you... I don't know what to say." Zipping up his backpack, the freshman slips it over his shoulders before we both stand.

"Of course, don't worry about it."

I can't bring myself to smile at the boy, not with the amount of anger that is currently simmering inside me.

_'Just what is Claude thinking?'_

* * *

The walk home with Ciel had been mostly quiet on my part, Ciel on the other hand spoke a mile a minute as he explained what he was going to draw for his art project. I wanted to ask him about Alois, but I didn't want to stress him out with thoughts of a fake friend. So for the entire walk home, I just listened to him talk about his day, while I stayed silent for the most part.

Claude had skipped gym class again, but just like yesterday, he showed up for work.

_'I wish he didn't work here..'_

We both stand at the prep table in silence, Claude had made various attempts at conversation but I ignored each try.

_'I'm too angry to talk to him, I don't get him. Is he a nice guy or a bully? You can't be both!'_

Claude quietly decorates cookies while I decorate a cake. I was already on my third cake, we had been quietly working for two hours so far, occasionally he would say something that I would ignore. I could tell it was starting to bug him as his eyes kept drifting over to me and my cake.

After finishing the lettering, I realize I forgot to retrieve the chocolate from the fridge which would be used for the chocolate shaving on the sides and part of the top.

Setting down the pastry bag, I double check my area for the chocolate before letting out a sigh.

_'I'll have to re-wash my hands and I better do this quickly before the frosting melts. It's pretty hot in here.'_

I walk through the kitchen with my eyes fixated on the door. I smile at the chef as I pass who responds with a fake smile of his own.

Pulling open the refrigerator door, I ignore the beeping sound just as I do every other time; and step inside. The door slams shut behind me, I can't help but shiver from the cold air as I make my way to the shelves lining the wall adjacent to the door.

My eyes scan over the label's on the boxes as I scour for the chocolate bars which were not in their usual location.

"Chocolate.. Chocolate... Chocolate."

Finally, I locate the box. Pulling it down, I pull out a single chocolate bar. As I'm checking the large bar to make sure it's semi-sweet chocolate, the refrigerator door opens.

Looking over my shoulder, I see Claude enter, his eyes lock onto mine as he heads my way. I try to push the box back up into it's place on the shelf above but before I can, Claude puts his hand on my shoulder, forcefully spinning me around to face him before pushing my back into the shelves.

The box drops to the floor, the wrapped chocolate bars scattering across the cold tile.

With the shelves digging into my back and head, Claude stands only inches from me. He doesn't seem to care about the chocolate, but at this moment, neither do I.

Our eyes are locked on each others as he stares down at me, I can't read his face, I can't tell what he's thinking at this point.

_'Am I going to get hit?'_

Claude raises his arms, placing them on the shelves on both sides of me. His eyes never leave mine even as I glare at him.

_'I don't want to be mad at him anymore but I can't take his wishy washy behavior. It's confusing. I feel like I'm being toyed with!'_

Finally, Claude opens his mouth, his face blushing a bright red as he does so.

Closing it again, he sighs and looks away before looking back at me.

Opening his mouth again, he still says nothing.

This happens five more times before I finally speak up.

"What do you want?" I growl, cold and irritated from being locked in flat thirty degree temperatures.

Claude looks surprised by my outburst, I can hear his knuckles tighten on the shelves, rattling them slightly as he closes his eyes and shouts at me.

"I like you! Okay?!"

His face grows far more red than it was originally, his ears tinge pink as the blush spreads down his neck.

I can't help but stare at him in a stunned silence.

"What?"

Claude lets out a frustrated groan as he brings his face even closer to mine.

"I like you! I think you're cute, funny and smart and I like you okay?!"

My face grows hot as my ears burn just as hot as my cheeks.

_'Claude just confessed to me.. Claude just confessed to me.. Claude just confessed to liking me..'_

Our eyes are still locked onto each others as we stand there, staring at each other in the familiar silence.

_'Wait... WHAT?!'_

* * *

_Ooooiiii! Alois is here! Sorta.. Well he will come in eventually. He's Ciel's friend after-all! And Claude! Ohhh my god you're too cute I love you. x] _


	13. Chapter 13

The cold air blowing from the vents rustles my hair slightly, I'm cold but I fight the shiver that threatens my body.

My back is against the shelves in the fridge, Claude stands only inches from me, his face is so close I'm breathing in nothing other than his cologne.

_'Smells good...'_

Claude stares intently at me, awaiting my response. I can tell he's embarrassed, his cheeks are slightly puffed, his eyebrows pulled upwards, a slight frown pulling at his lips as the blush covering his face and neck never dissipates.

I want to respond to him, but I don't know what to say.

_'I don't know how I feel.'_

I don't know what to do, so I avert my gaze. Looking instead to the chocolate bars strewn about the floor. It's easier to look at the floor than it is an actual person.

_'Especially someone who has just confessed their feelings.. Someone who hasn't been very nice.'_

From the corner of my eye I can see Claude's head drop, his knuckles tighten on the shelves as his body begins to shudder.

_'Is he.. crying? Or.. Is he angry again?'_

I open my mouth to respond, to say something, anything, but before I can speak the door to the fridge open. Ciel stands in the doorway, his eyes look from Claude who is now looking at him, to me.

"What's going on?" He asks as he fridge door closes behind him.

"Nothing. Nothing's going on." Claude pulls away from me, the pain was obvious on his face but he quickly looks away from me.

Ciel appears both confused and suspicious as he watches both of us carefully. My mind is spinning, I can't make sense of what has occurred.

"Well.. Claude I came to tell you it's time for your break. After that you're supposed to go Sebastian."

I simply nod at the boy, still trapped in the sea of thoughts which were desperately trying to pull me under.

Snapping back to reality, I see Claude leaving, once the fridge door closes, Ciel turns to me, his eyebrows furrow with suspicion.

"What was Claude doing?"

"Nothing, he wasn't doing anything don't worry." I look up from the chocolates on the floor, my eyes meet Ciel's.

"But he had you pinned, I saw him. You can't let him do that, Sebby!" I can hear the pain in Ciel's voice, I can't help but notice his hands ball up into fists as he stares at me.

"He wasn't being mean. That's not it."

Grabbing my arm, I rub my elbow as I yet again look away from Ciel.

"Then what was it? I don't understand."

"He... likes me."

I didn't need to see Ciel's face to know the shock which sat there.

With the way Claude had treated me in the past, it would be difficult to not be shocked.

"Do you like him?" Ciel's voice is much softer now, he's face is relaxed as he looks up at me.

Bending down, I begin to collect the chocolate bars which have poured from the box.

"I don't know, I don't know how I feel."

Ciel bends down and helps me collect the chocolates, we remain silent for the rest of the time. I'm sure Ciel is disappointed or confused, probably both, but I'm just as confused as he is.

_'Maybe.. the way I feel when I'm around Claude is because I like him?'_

I had never felt this way about anybody, but I couldn't decide if these emotions were from fear or...

_'Love maybe?'_

A hot blush rises to my face as Ciel pushes the now full box to me.

I can't help but smile as I think about Claude, the way his face lights up when he smiles, the way he smells, the way his voice sounds.

The blush grows hotter causing me to shake my head, trying to force the thoughts away.

_'Finish work and go home.'_

After putting the box back, I make sure to keep one chocolate bar for my cake as I follow Ciel out of the fridge.

When I notice Claude standing at the prep table, I can't help but look away.

_'It's not that I'm ashamed.. I just don't know what this feeling is.'_

My heart begins to pound a little harder as I feel his eyes on me. He's holding a pastry bag, decorating a large cookie cake as I slide up next to him. Bending down, I place the chocolate bar into the mini fridge below the prep table, before heading to the apron rack and hanging up my apron.

_'I have fifteen minutes of alone time.. But all I want to do is be around Claude.'_

* * *

After my break, I come back to find Claude had shaved my chocolate for me, collecting it in a small glass tray between both of our creations. A small smile slides over my lips as I quietly thank him.

"No problem.." He responds as a blush spreads over his face.

I add the chocolate shavings to the cake as Claude continues to decorate his cookie cake. This one was different from the last, a birthday cake for a little boy who apparently likes _Buzz_ _Lightyear_.

I glance at his cake from the corner of my eye, he had drawn Buzz with frosting, and I couldn't help but be impressed with his artistic ability.

_'I wasn't aware he's an artist..'_

Looking back at my own cake, I can't help but smile again as my own face begins to grow a little red.

"I'm sorry." Claude doesn't look up from his decorating as he says this, but it still catches me off guard.

My eyes slide up to the tall, inky haired boy as I continue working.

"What are you apologizing for? You didn't do anything."

My heart begins to beat faster, just hearing Claude's voice has such a strange effect on me.

Is it normal to be this confused about your emotions? I can't tell anymore, I must be the only person to ever be confused about how they feel about their bully.

"I did, I have.. I'm sorry for being mean to you before.. I didn't mean to."

I stay silent, not knowing how to respond at first. Claude sets his pastry bag down and looks at me but I can't bring myself to face him.

"It's okay." I lie.

"It's not, it's not okay."

I stop what I'm doing. I can feel the tears pricking my eyes as I recall everything he said and did.

_'Faggot.'_

_'Princess.'_

Memories of being shoved into the locker, cornered by him; resurface as well as the pain.

The bathroom.. I had just finished cutting because of him, only to have him corner me again...

_'On-top of what everyone else does..'_

Claude rests his hand on my shoulder, staring down at the table I can't bring myself to look at him as I respond.

"I forgive you.. It's okay."

Claude roughly grabs both of my shoulders, turning me to face him as he leans his face close to mine.

Surprised, I can't help but stare at him as I notice the anger building behind his eyes.

"Why won't you get angry?! Why have you just accepted it? It's not okay, Sebastian! It's not okay to let people treat you like that!"

Balling up my fists, I hang my head, staring at my feet as I try to push the tears away.

Claude violently shakes me, I can hear his breathing become more ragged.

"Sebastian please, get angry."

I can't hold the tears back any longer, my shoulders shake as I look up at Claude.

Claude's eye's grow wide as tears slide from his eyes. Biting my lip I put my hands over his arms, our eyes never leave each others as we both silently cry.

"I don't want to be angry. Just let me forget, I forgive you. Let me forgive you."

Lowering his head, he fights the tears but loses again and again.

"But what I did.. No, I can't. I'll make it up to you somehow."

Nodding, I wipe my eyes on my arm trying to force the tears away. A small smile plays on my lips as I look up at Claude who is also smiling.

"Okay, that sounds nice."

* * *

Sitting in the shower, I slowly begin to relax as the hot water pounds over my arms and legs.

My arms are propped up on my knees, my face pushed into my arms as I try to make sense of my own emotions.

Claude is a hard subject for me, hard because I don't know why I feel the way I do around him.

Do I like him?

I must, that would explain all these strange emotions.

My heart races, I get nervous, and I'm happy.

All at once.

That's what it means to have a crush right?

Burrowing my face deeper into my arms, I feel my heart begin to pound harder.

His hair, short and the same inky black color as mine.

His eyes, the perfect shade of brown that I never get tired of looking at.

His voice, the way he smiles.

A blush rises on my neck and cheeks as I remember Claude in the fridge, standing so close to me.

_'He looked so cute, nervous and blushing like that..'_

I suddenly realize something as I'm staring down between my legs.

My blush worsens as I pop my head up from my arms.

_'I do like him.. don't I? I like Claude.. a lot..'_

* * *

_Gah! Short chapter I'm sorry. . If I don't stop it here then this chapter will end up having 5,000 words. XD _

_So does everybody still hate Claude? Or no? =3_

_Anyway! Review please! If you don't review then I don't know what you think! You guys are the only reason I'm writing this, without readers there would be no point. _

_Meow ~Claude/Sebastian depending on if you're from my IG or YesMyLord. xD_


	14. Chapter 14

_Hey guys!_

_So a lot of you have requested a chapter in Claude's POV._

_SO HERE IT IS!_

_=D_

_Though I did have a little help brainstorming idea's for this chapter. _

_The awesome Those_Earl_Brats assisted me as I quietly had a meltdown over how the chapter would go._

_So thank you!_

_And I hope you guys enjoy!_

* * *

Claude lay across his bed, the day was going by slowly and he wasn't sure what to do to pass the time.

_'I wonder what Sebastian's doing..'_

Claude couldn't help but blush as thoughts of Sebastian seeped into his already cluttered mind.

'_I should've gotten his number or something. Goddamn why didn't I think of that at work?'_

Folding his arms behind his head, he stares up at the blank white ceiling. The glare from his light was starting to hurt his eyes.

_'He never told me if he likes me or not. I wonder what that means. That kid is so damn hard to read sometimes.'_

Claude rolls onto his stomach, laying his head on his arms now staring at his computer across the room.

_'I guess I could play video games.. No, I want to see Sebastian.. I rather do that. How did I get so pathetic?'_

A surprise knock at the door quickly rouses Claude from his thoughts. Jumping off his bed, he stumbles across his messy room before ripping the door open.

His younger brother, Alois stands there in just his gym shirt and old jeans that should've been thrown away by now.

"Claude I'm bored!"

Alois walks past Claude, taking a seat on his unmade bed while Claude rolls his eyes; clearly annoyed.

"Go do something then, don't bug me." Crossing his arms, Claude watches as Alois gives him puppy dog eyes.

"B-but I don't know what to do! I wanna play video games but Ciel is busy!"

Mentions of Ciel cause Claude to perk up.

_'Ciel is.. Sebastian's younger brother..'_

"You know Ciel?"

"Well yeah, we play video games pretty much every night. Thought you knew that considering you work with him and all."

Alois begins pulling the fuzzies off Claude's black comforter before looking up at him again.

"Could you do me a favor than?" Unfolding his arms, Claude scratches awkwardly at his head. He had yet to come out to his family so he now had to make up a lie to get this favor accomplished.

"Depends.. What do you want?"

Ignoring the blatant disrespect in his younger brother's voice, Claude asks his question.

"Sebastian and I have a project in math but I don't have a way to reach him, do you think you could get his number for me from Ciel?"

"Seriously? Dude you should've thought of that yesterday, I mean.. Sebastian works at the cafe too doesn't he?"

"No, I mean, Yes he does but come on just do me this one favor ok? Just get me his number."

Groaning, Alois rolls his eyes as he pulls his iPhone out.

"Will you make me cookies if I do?" Alois questions as he unlocks his phone.

"Sure-Sure, I'll even add extra chocolate chips just get me his number."

Alois calls Ciel, they speak for a few minutes before Alois starts rattling off various numbers which Claude quickly types into his own iPhone.

After Alois hangs up, he stands and moves towards the door.

"I'm gonna go watch TV or something. Have fun doing whatever you're doing."

"Thanks, bye."

Closing his door, Claude stares at the numbers he had typed into his phone.

_'This is Sebastian's number.. This is a direct link to him..'_

He couldn't deny his nervousness, he had never been so nervous to call somebody before.

_'What if he gets mad? I mean, he might not even like me... God what am I a fucking chick? I'm going to do it.'_

Taking a deep breath, he presses the call button before holding the phone up to his ear.

The ringing seemed to go on for forever before Sebastian finally picked up.

"Hello?"

Claude's heart pounds harder in his chest, he can't help but smile.

"Hey... Sebastian it's Claude.."

There's a brief pause, Claude looks at his phone to make sure Sebastian hasn't hung up.

"How did you get my number? Did I give it to you?"

"Uh, no I had Alois get it from Ciel.. Sorry I just.. ughhh I just wanted to see if you would meet me at Pike's Place Market in an hour?"

Gritting his teeth, Claude's eyes close as he half expects to hear a 'no'.

"S-sure... Where do you want to meet?"

"Meet me by the golden pig! I'll see you in an hour!"

Grinning, Claude hangs up as he rushes to take a shower.

_'Is this a... date?'_

* * *

A cool breeze slips through Claude's partially wet hair as he walks down 2nd avenue.

Downtown is loud, especially on a Saturday. Laughter surrounds him on both sides as he passes busy shops and restaurants.

He was about one block from Pike's Place, he could see portions of Pike's Place with each block he passed only causing his anticipation to build.

_'I wonder if I should've worn something else..'_

Claude glances down at his outfit, jeans, a green shirt and a black jacket with his gloves.

_'Fuck that, I look sexy as hell.'_

As Claude approaches the market, traffic becomes more dense as hoards of locals and tourists all cross the wide, cobblestone street.

Rounding the final block, he can't help but look around for Sebastian when he notices he's not by the pig where they had agreed to meet.

Pushing through the dense crowd of people, Claude crosses the uneven cobblestone to the pig.

_'Maybe he's just late..'_

Crossing his arms, Claude watches the tourists browsing the outdoor shops. The fish market was directly behind him, sounds of the workers yelling out orders rings in his ears as the smell of fish circles around him.

_'He better get here soon or I'm going to end up smelling like this crap.'_

It was nearly impossible to pick a single person from the sea of people who filled the sidewalks. Claude also knew that as short as Sebastian was, he would be easily hidden in such a crowd.

"Claude!"

Turning, Claude see's Sebastian heading up from the lower level of the Market. A sheepish smile sits on his face as he wears the same salmon colored cardigan he wears nearly everyday.

Claude can't help but smile as he sees Sebastian looking the same as always.

"Hey, thought you'd never get here."

"S-sorry I had to use the b-bathroom.. And there was a line."

A blush tints Sebastian's face as he stares up at Claude.

"It's fine, where do you wanna go?" Claude questions as he begins to guide Sebastian into the crowded market.

"There's a magic shop downstairs that I've always wanted to see. I haven't come here that much.. So I don't know what all is here.."

A laugh escapes from Claude's lips as they begin walking down a slope towards one of the many lower levels of the market.

"There is far too many shops for us to see in one day, but I do know where the magic shop is."

Sebastian's face lights up, nodding he begins talking non-stop about what Ciel has said about the market.

"He said there's four bookstores! I want to see all of them one day! He also said there's ghost tours you can take. I think that would be fun."

Smiling, Claude watches Sebastian as he lists off all the shops he had heard about.

"Unless you want to spend the entire day here, we'll have to come out another time." He can't help but blush as he says this. This simple statement implied that he would get to have another day out with Sebastian.

_'Just the two of us..'_

"We'll have to do that! I'd like to explore the market completely, I don't get to go out that often so.."

Sebastian trails off as a light blush tinges his cheeks. Another sheepish smile works over his lips as he glances up to Claude who is desperately trying to hide his own red tint.

"We'll come out again, I'll show you the whole market. But for today, let's go see this magic shop then maybe a movie?"

_'This is a date.. right?'_

"A movie? R-really? That would be fun.. I'd like that."

Claude guides Sebastian down a long hallway. A few tourists spot the hallway as they pass various shops. The market is old, and it definitely smelled old as Claude inhaled the musty scent.

The oak wood floors creak as they walk through the mostly quiet hallway. Finally breaking into a large room, Claude spots the magic shop on the same corner it had been at for quite awhile.

"That's it, over there." Pointing at the shop, Claude looks to Sebastian who instantly smiles.

"How do you remember where everything is? It all looks the same to me. This place is like a maze."

Claude lets out a laugh as they enter the large shop.

"I've had plenty of time to explore over the years."

Miscellaneous items line the walls as they pass the long glass counter containing a random assortment of collectable items. The large man behind the counter barely pays them any mind as they begin to poke around.

"These would look great on you."

Claude holds up a pair of fake 'disguise' glasses complete with the plastic nose and eyebrows to Sebastian's face. Sebastian laughs, his face blushing pure red as he pushes the glasses away.

"I don't think so."

Grinning, Claude puts the glasses back as he begins to poke at the fake snakes and 'grow your own boyfriend'.

"Do you like magic tricks?" Claude asks as he moves to the top hats.

Sebastian continues looking through tarot card decks.

"I like watching people do them, but I can't do any."

Grabbing a top hat, Claude sneaks up behind Sebastian, setting it on his head.

Sebastian whirls around and starts to pull the hat off.

"Wait! Don't take it off, it suits you." Sebastian smiles, embarrassment playing on his face as he scrunches his shoulders up.

"Now I look like a real magician huh?"

Nodding, Claude pulls out his phone and turns the camera on.

"Okay hold still, I need a picture of this."

Sebastian does as he's told, regardless of the bright red tint that spread over his face, down his neck and over his ears.

"You really like it?" Sebastian questions as Claude puts his phone away.

"Yeah it looks good, I like it." Pulling the hat off, Sebastian holds it in his hands like a child as he stares up at Claude.

"You want to go see a movie?"

Handing the hat to Claude, he smiles up at the inky haired boy.

"Sure, is there anything in particular you wanted to see? I'm good for anything."

Sebastian bites his lip as he stares down at his feet.

"Uh.. Actually.. There is a movie I've been wanting to see..."

Claude puts the hat away before turning back to Sebastian. Seeing him so flustered was more than he could take, it was _cute_.

"What movie?"

"Um.. The.. K-Kuroshitsuji movie.. It just came out in America.. It's probably not your thing so just tell me if you don't want to."

Claude can't help but smile, placing his hand on Sebastian's head he messes up his hair a little, causing the flustered boy to look up at him in surprise.

"I don't know what that is, but if you want to see it then lets go see it."

* * *

_The next chapter will be back in Sebastian's POV. Hope you guy's enjoyed a little insight into Claude's mind. x]_


	15. Chapter 15

_Back into Sebastian's POV. =D Just so you guys don't get confused._

* * *

_'Is this a date?'_

I steal a glance at the taller boy beside me. He walks confidently, his eyes trained dead ahead.

_'I wish I had his confidence.'_

My eyes shift over to the random shops lining the walls, each shop had a large glass window allowing potential customers to see inside. I wasn't quite sure where we are in the market, but there didn't seem to be anybody around except for us and the shop owners.

"Antique shops.. Do you like antiques?" I question as I notice Claude staring into almost every shop.

"What? No, I just thought you might like to explore a little."

A small smile spreads over his lips as our eyes meet. I can't ignore the way my heart begins to beat a little faster when I look at him.

_'And we're alone..'_

"That's where we want to go, it'll take us back out to 1st ave."

Claude points up a wide staircase before beginning to climb it. The noise from all the tourists becomes louder and louder with each step we climb, but all I can focus on is how I'm alone with him.

_'I wonder.. what his lips feel like..'_

Instantly my face flushes bright red as I quickly push that thought away.

_'Since when did I become so perverted? I've never even held hands with anybody, I shouldn't already be thinking about kissing!'_

Upon reaching the top of the stairs, we find ourselves in a different part of the market. Food shops line the walls on both side, various smells of Asian and American cuisine fill my nose as I follow Claude through the busy walkway to the exit.

Now back on the sidewalk outside of the market, Claude looks to me.

"Which theater is that movie playing at?" He asks as we walk to the crosswalk.

"T-the one at Pacific Place! I c-checked when it first came out.." Slightly embarrassed, my eyes cast down as the crosswalk turns white; signaling our turn to cross.

"Cool, well at least we're close to it."

I can't think of what to say, my mind goes foggy as I walk alongside Claude. It's been such a long time since I've had to make conversation with anybody other than my brother or my Aunt.

_'How did my social skills get so bad?_'

The question runs through my head although I already know the reason behind it.

_'Maybe one day I'll be as confident as Claude. I'll walk tall, I'll stare ahead and not at the ground.. And I won't be nervous talking to people.'_

Claude glances at me, apparently bothered by my silence.

"So what's this movie about anyway?"

Blushing slightly, I try to condense the plot slightly in my head.

"Uhm, it's about a thirteen year old Earl in the late 1800's who makes a contract with a demon for revenge.. It's really good."

Tilting his head, Claude gives me a sideways stare as we approach the mall which houses the movie theater.

"Revenge for what?"

"His parents murder.."

"Oh.. And it's like what a show? I've never heard of it."

_'Right, he probably doesn't watch anime.'_

"It's a show.. From Japan.. An anime actually.. Uhm but the movie is live action."

Claude's mouth hangs open as he stares at me.

"Anime? Seriously? Isn't that for kids?"

"Not this one.. No.. It's good."

Letting out a sigh, Claude and I step on the escalator, allowing it to carry us to the second level.

Looking up I could see the movie theater on the fourth floor of the mall.

For a mall, Pacific Place is actually fairly desolate. The shops here are more upscale while the city of Seattle consists mainly of 20-something year olds who don't have the money to shop at _'Tiffany's'_.

So essentially, this mall makes little sense.

"We'll still go see it. I may not understand this stuff but-."

Claude scratches his head awkwardly as we head up the final escalator.

"If you like it, I'll give it a try."

He smiles at me, just the smile itself causes my heart to beat harder once again.

Reaching the top of the escalator, I follow Claude up to the ticket counter. The burger restaurant to our left was a little busy, but besides that the forth level of the mall was just as empty as the other floors.

_'How does this mall stay in business?'_

"Hi what can I do for you?"

The boy behind the glass box asks.

Claude looks up at the showings for a second then back down to the employee.

"Can I get two tickets for 'Kuro_shitsuhjey' _at three?"

"Claude! N-no let me buy my own ticket." I stare up at Claude who ignores me completely.

"That'll be $22.34 please." The boy says as he looks from Claude to me curiously.

Claude continues to ignore my complaints, taking his wallet out, he passes his debit card through the little rectangular gap in the glass.

_'This is a date isn't it?'_

I can't stop myself from making the assumption. If it wasn't a date, surely I would've had to buy my own ticket right?

_'But he also said that he was going to make it up to me, for the bullying..'_

The boy in the box passes the tickets to Claude who thanks him before ripping one of the tickets off for me.

Smiling, He leads me to the door, even going as far as to hold the door open for me.

_'But he also told me he likes me... So that must mean something too right? Why is this so confusing? Why couldn't he have just told me if it was a date or not?'_

The smell of popcorn fills my nose as we walk across the darkly colored carpet to the usher. Handing him our tickets, he rips off a portion before pointing us in the proper direction.

The movie theater is mostly empty, a few people wander into various theaters but pay us no mind as we walk down the darkly lit corridor.

"Do you want anything to eat?" I ask, dead-set on at least paying for the snacks if nothing else.

Claude's face seems to light up at the mention of food. If he was a dog I'm positive his tail would be wagging at this point.

"Yeah, Let's get some popcorn, candy and soda. I think the junk food you get to eat at the movies is one of the best parts."

Smiling, he grabs my wrist and begins leading me towards the snack bar across from our movie.

The feel of his hand wrapped around my wrist sent shivers down my spine.

_'Has he ever touched me like this? No.. This feels more affectionate.. But.. I still wish he had taken my hand instead.'_

We stand at the snack bar, Claude crosses his arms as he glances over the glass case of candy, his eyes wander up to the menu before he turns to me.

"What sort of soda do you like? I'll drink anything, just no tea."

"Coke.. I like coke."

Digging into my back pocket, I retract my wallet.

"What do you want?" I ask him as innocently as possible.

Claude rattles off a very short list of basic movie theater food, before he can say anything; I rush to the counter. Thrusting my debit card at the girl behind the counter, I quickly rattle of the same list to her.

"Sebastian what the hell?"

Claude exclaims behind me.

I don't bother turning around, instead I stare at the countertop until all the food I ordered is given to us.

Placing my card back into my wallet, I hand the annoyed Claude the soda.

"You bought my ticket.. I should at least pay for the snacks.."

This doesn't seem to make Claude any happier, but he takes the soda while I carry the popcorn and candy.

* * *

The movie theater is dark and quiet. A few people sprinkle the theater but for the most part, we're alone.

Claude didn't seem to understand the movie, ever since it started he would turn to me and ask me questions.

"Is he the demon?"

"No that's the main character."

"What about that girl?"

"No, that's his maid."

"Oh is it that guy? The butler?"

"It's the other butler, the younger one."

Claude leans back in his seat, his eyes slide over to me a few times, but I pretend not to notice merely because I didn't know how to respond.

I see his hand move from the corner of my eye, he slides his hand closer to where mine rest one the arms of the chair.

My heart begins to pound again.

My focus on the movie, completely broken as I watch him hesitantly move his hand towards mine before touching his fingers to mine.

A hot blush rises on my cheeks as he slowly intertwines his fingers with mine, lacing our hands together.

_'We're holding hands.. I'm holding hand's with Claude.'_

I can tell Claude is embarrassed by the way he stares at the screen. Before he would sneak a glance at me routinely, but now, he just stared dead ahead.

His gloves feel warm on my palm, his fingers fit perfectly into mine as we sit, connected.

* * *

"I'm still not sure I understand.." Claude says as we toss our trash into the can outside of the theater.

"Then maybe we'll have to watch the show." I smile at the boy as we head towards the exit to the mall.

"Yeah I don't think so. Cartoons aren't really my thing."

Our hands our still intertwined as we walk through the mall and out to the busy streets. Holding his hand made me nervous, nervous that I would somehow mess it up even though it's a pretty simple concept.

_'Still..'_

I couldn't help but wonder why he always wore his gloves.

I don't think I've ever seen him without them, though I feel like if I saw his hands without them, it would be similar to seeing him without a shirt.

_'Which is incredibly weird.'_

_"_What do you want to do?" He asks me as we head up the sidewalk.

Skyscrapers and businesses surround us on all sides, but even with all the shops I couldn't think of something to do.

"Uhm.. You.. Never-mind." I shake my head as we cross the street.

"What were you going to say?"

"Nothing don't worry about it. It's nothing."

Claude looks bothered by my refusal to answer, when we reach the other side of the street he abruptly stops, pulling me in-front of him he stares down at me.

"What were you going to say?" He persists.

Instantly embarrassed, I look off to the side. Staring at the side of a newspaper stand instead.

"I was.. Just going to say.. You can come to my house.. If you want.. To play video games or something...?"

"Yeah, let's go there. What platform do you play on?"

Looking back up at Claude, I notice the smile on his lips, it causes a hot blush to spread over my face again.

"My computer.. Usually.. But I have an Xbox if you prefer that.."

"I play it all, let's go. Where do you live?"

We begin walking again, except this time I lead him in the right direction.

"I actually live above the cafe. So we're pretty close.."

* * *

_Ohh... Going to Sebastian's house huh? Sound uh... Pretty... Suspicious if you ask me. ;D Hahah_


	16. Chapter 16

"Run! He's behind you! No turn around! Go that way!"

Claude backseat directs my video game playing as I frantically push buttons on my keyboard.

"I know, I know. Ah where do I go now?"

I'm staring at my computer monitor, Claude sits to my right on the edge of the computer chair Ciel had lent us.

We've been playing video games non-stop since we arrived at my apartment. My Aunt had already gone to sleep, and Ciel had retreated back into his room.

Leaving Claude and I alone in my room.

The moment I opened the door to my room, I began to wish that I had picked up my room a little before I had left earlier. Clothes from yesterday still lay on my floor, this was only a slight embarrassment for me compared to the boxers Claude had pulled off my computer chair.

A slight blush raises to my cheeks at the memory, but I quickly push the memory away. Focusing instead on the video game as I guide my character down the darkened hallway.

I could tell Claude was getting excited by the way he moved closer and closer to the edge of his chair as he yelled directions at me.

As annoying as it was to have a backseat player, I was thankful for the company as I usually played alone.

My screen begins to change as the hallway begins to stretch and become blurry, a bright white light surrounds my character as Claude begins yelling at me again.

"SHIT SEB RUN!"

My character runs down the hallway, I could hear the monster in the game behind me as I feel my fear begin to peak a little.

"Run, Seb! Why are you going so slow? Run faster!"

"I'm going as fast as I can! It's my sanity, it's getting drained."

Before I can make it to safety, my character is caught. Upon seeing the monster; Claude lets out a small _'squeak'_ which confuses me, but I choose not to question it as I'm already annoyed by his constant yelling.

"Did you die?" He laughs as he scoots all the way back in his chair.

A sigh of frustration escapes as I finally turn to the inky haired boy.

"Fine, you play. I have Slender. Why don't you play that?"

Claude quickly jumps up from his chair, after we swap seats he begins searching through my computer files.

"What's it about?" He asks as I point to the right file.

"It's fun, just play it. Use these." I pull off my headphones and hand them over. Claude takes my headphones, after pulling them over his head he begins to laugh.

"God Sebastian these are huge. Aren't things supposed to get smaller as technology progresses?"

Ignoring his snakiness, I point at the monitor.

"Just play."

* * *

About five minutes into the game, I can tell Claude is nervous. He had only collected one page so far and had also somehow avoided running into the enemy.

"So I just run around collecting shit? Great game.."

My chin rests in my hands as I have my elbows propped up on my desk. I'm already growing bored of watching him play, however at the same time I'm looking forward to seeing his reaction when he finally runs into _'Slenderman'_.

"Why is it getting darker? Is my flashlight dying? Really?"

I watch Claude move around the game, seemingly going in circles as he searches for the missing pages.

"Yeah, it doesn't last very long."

"Well what the hell do I do if it dies?"

"Get killed usually.."

It takes eight more minutes and one more page for his flash light to finally die.

Claude begins cursing as he moves his character through the darkness. My eyes are fixed lazily on the screen, watching him play was really boring.

"What do I- AHHHHGGHHH!" Claude pulls the headphones off as he scoots his chair back, falling to the ground in the process as the screen flashes with Slenderman's face and white noise.

Surprised and amused, I can't help but stare at the frightened boy as he stares back at the screen in a stunned silence.

"What the hell..."

I can't stop myself, I begin to roar with laughter as I remember exactly what it looked like when he fell out of his chair in fear.

Doubling over, Claude begins to curse at me but I can't stop laughing long enough to respond.

Climbing to his feet, Claude pulls me out of my chair before pushes me onto my bed.

Now sprawled on my bed, I can see Claude's face which is turning various shades of red as he looks down at me.

Calming down, I wipe the tears from my eyes as Claude crosses his arms in annoyance.

Taking a seat on my floor, he leans against my bed before pulling his knees up and releasing a loud yawn.

"Didn't realize you're such a scardy-cat!" I tease as I sit up in my bed. Moving to the edge, I notice Claude has closed his eyes. Leaning his head back against my mattress.

"I'm not.. I was just surprised ok?"

Pushing myself off my bed, I sit down next to him. His own exhaustion was starting to affect me as I feel a yawn work it's way up my lungs.

"Fine, you were so surprised you fell out of the chair. Understood."

Another laugh escapes earning me a glare from the tired Claude before he pushes away from my bed, choosing to stretch out on my floor.

Crawling over to my computer, I switch my computer off; leaving my room pitch black as I too stretch out on my floor beside Claude.

I can't help but close my eyes as our busy day finally catches up with me.

My legs seem to relax immediately, seemingly thanking me for finally laying down.

_'I don't think I've had this much fun in a long time.'_

"Claude.. I know I never really gave you a proper answer when you asked me if I liked you.. But um.. I do.. like you.."

I await a response, only to hear a light snore from the boy beside me.

_'Of course.. He didn't even hear me..'_

Another yawn slips out, before I finally allow sleep to take me.

* * *

"Sebastian wake up!"

I can feel myself being shaken, but I don't want to wake up yet.

"Sebastian! God you sleep like a rock! Wake up!"

Opening one eye, I see Claude leaning over me. His eyebrows furrowed in frustration as his hair sits wildly atop his head.

"What happened to your face?" I mumble sleepily as I push his hand away.

"What? What do you mean? Sebastian don't go back to sleep!"

Claude puts his hands under me, flipping me onto my stomach which causes my eyes to snap open instantly.

"What? What? What time is it?"

Propping myself onto my elbows, I rub my eyes before looking around my now illuminated room.

"It's eight in the morning, I have to work in an hour, don't you too? Get up!"

"Oh crap, yeah I do. Ah did we fall asleep?" Sitting up, I notice Claude pulling his phone into my phone charger beside my bed.

"Well yeah obviously. Can I use your shower? I can't go to work like this." He motions down to his wrinkled clothes.

"Yeah, just don't take too long because I need to shower too."

I give Claude a towel before he disappears into my bathroom.

After I hear the water start, it only takes me a moment to really put the pieces together in my head.

_'Claude is.. naked.. in my bathroom..'_

A hot blush washes over my face as I quickly work to push the thought away.

Now was definitely _not_ a good time to get a boner.

"Right, he's going to need clothes. What of mine would fit him? His shoulders are so much broader than mine.. And he's so much taller."

Standing, I head to my closet and begin rummaging through my older clothes before locating a black band shirt that I had purchased online.

_'Though it never did fit me. It was always too big.'_

Failing in my attempts to find suitable pants, I layout the spare shirt, wondering whether or not I should pull out some boxers for him.

_'Yeah that's probably a little weird..'_

I hear the pipes stop rattling, signaling the shower had been turned off. I had done pretty well distracting myself, considering the circumstances.

The door to the bathroom opens, followed by my own bedroom door.

"Uh, do you have some clothes I could borrow?"

Claude stands in-front of my closed door, one gloved hand holds a towel wrapped around his waist, water slides over his bare chest while his normally styled hair, lays flat against his head, dripping wet.

_'Oh... he's perfect...'_

I can't help but stare at his bare chest, my cheeks red with embarrassment and awe as I take in the whole picture.

"Sebastian!"

Claude's face is bright red as he looks away from me. Considerably more embarrassed now, I quickly point to the clothes I laid out.

"I c-couldn't find any pants that would fit you... I-I need to go shower now.."

I do my best to avoid eye contact as I quickly grab my own towel and run away to the privacy of my bathroom.

_'I can't believe I just ogled Claude like that.. He probably thinks I'm a freak now. Ah!_

_But... I can't deny.. He looked good.. in just.. a towel.' _

Leaning against the bathroom door, I try to organize my jumbled thoughts a little.

_'But wait.. Why did he still have his gloves on?'_

* * *

Once we're both dressed, we exit my bedroom only to run into Ciel who was leaving his own room.

He does nothing to hide the look of shock on his face at seeing Claude and I exiting my room.

"Hey, Ciel.."

Claude smiles at Ciel with the same confidence he always wore. I couldn't help but be a little jealous of his easy confidence as I avert my own gaze from my brothers.

_'I can only imagine what he thinks happened..'_

"Hey... Claude.. You guys uh, heading to work?"

"Yeah, aren't you?"

Ciel points to his backpack and shakes his head.

"No, I'm going to hang out with Alois."

Claude shifts uncomfortably, pulling down the shirt I had lent him.

"Oh cool.. Well we better get going. Work starts pretty soon."

Ciel nods, his eyes move over to mine, questioning Claude's presence without saying anything.

We follow Ciel out, parting ways as Claude and I step through the back door of the cafe.

The noise from the kitchen does nothing to silence the screaming thoughts in my head.

I wanted to tell Claude how I felt. Especially after last night's mess up, but at the same time, how do I do that? When would another good time come up?

Pulling an apron off the hook, I loop it over my head before tying it at my waist.

_'I have to tell him eventually.. Maybe later.. Yeah.. I want him to know today.'_

* * *

_Ah, what to do for Chapter 17? What to do.. Ohh hey! An idea! Ohh a cute idea too.. Feels!_


	17. Chapter 17

After tying his own apron, Claude lets out an exhausted sigh as he begins rubbing his back.

"Damn, we should've slept on your be-." Cutting off suddenly, his face blushes bright red. I can't help but chuckle as my own face tinges red.

Claude mumbles something incoherent before walking away from me.

"What?" I question, a smile still playing on my lips.

"Nothing, I'm going to go work."

My eyes track him until he disappears into the main dining area of the cafe.

_'He seemed really embarrassed.'_

"Sebastian! There you are, where's Claude?" My Aunt's voice rouses me from my thoughts, I see her standing in the doorway of her office, arms crossed.

"Claude just went to the front. What do you need me to do?"

She confidently walks over towards me, slinging her arm over my shoulder, she pulls me close.

"Sebastian, I understand that you're at that age where you're going to _do _certain things with the person you like.. But I do hope you're being safe about it right?" She lifts her eyebrows at me, my face is now five shades darker than crimson as I realize what she's talking about.

"W-what? No! That's not it!"

"What ever you do, just promise me you'll be safe. There's all sorts of diseases you can catch."

"Aunt Angela that's really not it!" I exclaim in total embarrassment.

"It's fine, Sebastian. I don't mind, just make sure that next time you guys make it to work on time."

"But our shift didn't start until five minutes ago." Perplexed, my eyebrows lower at my embarrassing Aunt.

"It's started a half hour ago, but it's ok, I understand the hormones of teenagers. Anyway, I need you to break down some boxes in the back, prepare one cup of dark chocolate shavings and pull out a pound of the chocolate covered espresso beans from the back. After that come see me, I may just put you on the register or pastry case."

The deep crimson blush doesn't fade as I realize I was not only late to work, but that she didn't believe I didn't do anything with Claude last night.

I was also unaware that she knew of our relationship.

"Okay.."

My Aunt releases me, giving me a wink before she turns back to her office. I can't help but sigh as the jumbled thoughts in my head try to clear.

"What has my life become?"

I question myself jokingly.

* * *

Fresh from the shower, I lay on my bed in just my boxers with my covers pulled over me. My darkened room still holds memories of Claude. I can almost smell is cologne lingering, the thought of having him in my bed is almost too much for me to think of.

Turning onto my side, I stare at my wall as I replay the memory of him fresh from the shower. The towel sat low around his hips, droplets of water trailed over his chest, sliding quickly over the muscles on his chest and arms.

His hair, wet and sticking close to his face which bore an expression of embarrassment.

I wanted that towel to fall, I wanted it to show me all of him.

My hand slides away from my head, moving over my stomach and underneath the waistband of my boxers.

The thought of Claude standing mostly naked and dripping wet in my room was thrilling. I had never thought of anybody like this before.

_'I want you.'_

My hand pumps my hardened cock as I imagine touching him intimately.

My hands would slide over his shoulder, down his chest to his hips. Our lips would meet, tongues intertwining as we explore each other.

I bury my face in my pillow, silencing my moans as I finish. I desperately wanted to be near Claude.

Although I was well aware that I was not ready to get so physical with him, I couldn't stop thinking about it.

* * *

"It's getting colder." I complain to Ciel as we walk to school.

"Well it's Fall now, Sebby."

Ciel walks with his head down slightly, he had always been a little self-conscious about his eyepatch since the accident, though I had thought he was getting better about it.

Frowning, I rustle my hand through his hair causing him to look up in annoyance.

"Don't do that! I'm not a kid." His hand swats mine away while I laugh. His glare never ceases as he runs his fingers through his hair to straighten the mess I had just created.

"I know that, but you're my brother."

A cold wind rips through the air, infiltrating my light cardigan and causing me to shiver.

Ciel doesn't look at me, but changes the subject instead.

"What are you doing for Halloween?"

"I don't have any plans, I'll probably play video games."

We stop at the cross walk, watching as the various cars, busses and taxi's drive by.

"But you always do that.. Why don't you go out with Claude?"

I look down without response, tugging at the green sleeves of my cardigan.

"You should go out, it won't hurt anything."

"I know, when it gets closer I'll ask him... We still have a week." My lips purse in thought as I try to think of how I would ask him.

_'What if he says no?'_

"You really like him, right?" Ciel asks suddenly.

I can see the school about a block away, random groups of students sitting in the front talking and laughing. My anxiety kicks in slightly as Ciel and I draw near.

"I do.."

I was well-aware of my feelings for Claude, I had been for quite some time. And yet I still hadn't told him.

Ciel knows, my Aunt apparently knows, but Claude... He still doesn't know.

_'This is like some sort of unrequited crush.. Only it's not unrequited.'_

As Ciel and I approach the school, we part ways. Ciel was against parting ways, however I couldn't help but worry that being seen with me would cause him to get bullied as well.

And now that I know he is still self-conscious about his eye, I can't allow that to happen.

I have to at least protect my little brother, otherwise, what sort of brother would I be?

Ciel walks a couple yards ahead of me, his face focused on the screen of his phone now as we walk towards the school.

"Freak is here. Ahah and his faggoty cardigans."

"Watch out, you'll get AIDS if he touches you."

"What a loser."

I can hear laughing from the other nameless, faceless students but I do my best to ignore it.

Random insults are shouted, I can see Ciel's shoulder's tense in anger.

_'Don't say anything, Ciel. Don't. Just go inside.'_

I breathe a sigh of relief as Ciel grabs the door handle to the school, ripping it open with such force that it crashes into the wall causing a lot of students to stare.

He storms off, never looking up from his phone as he swiftly types away.

I grab the door before it closes, opening it just enough for me to enter.

"Somebody needs to sanitize that door, freak just touched it."

Their words hurt, they swirl around my head no matter how hard I try to ignore it.

My fingers subconsciously move to my pocket, fingering the blade I always kept handy.

_'Just ignore it, ignore them, Ignore them.. It doesn't matter.'_

I keep my eyes trained on the floor as I walk to my first period class. I ignore the random insults some students shout. I make every attempt to distract myself, thinking about how I would ask Claude to hang out on Halloween instead.

"Where you going, faggot?" I feel a heavy hand on my shoulder, whirling around I come face-to-face with the one guy who perhaps hated me more than anybody else.

"Hey.. Ash.."

I look away from the white haired boy, his friends stand behind him all wearing an equally superior smirk.

I've known Ash for the past three years, he had made it his personal mission to make everyone hate me for absolutely no reason.

And he had succeeded.

He had initially discovered I was gay when he overheard me on the phone will Ciel, telling him about a guy that I liked.

After that he went around telling everyone that I tried to touch him in the locker room. That's when the bullying really started, everybody made fun of me, some were sympathetic but the majority thought I was a freak for liking guys and not girls.

My sophomore year, Ash and his friends had cornered me in a bathroom stall, he had pulled my pants down leaving me in just my boxers, he forced me to touch his girlfriend's breasts then they all laughed when I failed to get a boner from it.

_'I hate him.'_

My junior year, while showering after gym, Ash pushed me into another guy who then gave me my first black eye and broken rib.

My body aches at the memory, I was curled up on the shower floor, the senior he had pushed me into punches me a few times before standing and delivering a swift kick to my ribs.

They laughed, took pictures, then left.

I didn't move from the shower floor for a long time. It was my coach who finally found me.

"Hey you wanna come with us? We have something to show you."

I look up at Ash, hatred burning through my veins as well as intense fear.

"N-No... I have to get to class."

Ash and his friends laugh before he leans closer to me.

"Nope, You're not going to class, come with us. It's really cool, you'll want to see it."

"I don't want to."

I turn and start to walk away, but Ash grabs my cardigan.

"Didn't you fucking here me, Faggot? I said you're coming with us. Goddamn are you fucking retarded?"

Ash pulls me forward before grabbing the front of my shirt.

"You'll have fun, you know? Don't we always have fun."

The fear welling in my chest is nothing compared to the anxiety. Staring into Ash's green eyes, I can think of no other word except; _'Psychopath.'_

"HEY!"

Claude's voice rings loudly in my ears, suddenly I'm being ripped away from Ash. Claude stands in-front of me, his arm thrown out protectively as he grabs Ash by the front of his shirt.

Compared to Claude, Ash looked harmless and weak.

"What do you think you're doing?" He growls at Ash.

"Does it matter? Let me go."

By this time, a group of student's has gathered to watch. Some pull their phones out and begin recording. Other's wear excited grins at the thought of seeing a fight.

Claude's grip tightens on Ash's shirt, his eyes narrow at the bully.

"Yeah actually it does matter, leave him alone."

A cruel smile spreads over Ash's face, his eyes look from me to Claude.

"Oh I see, you went and got yourself a boyfriend. Good job, faggot."

Claude pulls his arm back, his hand balled into a fist, without thinking I grab his arm.

"Don't! You'll get in-trouble! It's not worth it."

"You are worth it!" Claude rips his arm from my grasp, landing a punch on Ash's face with a loud _'SMACK'_.

Releasing Ash's shirt, he falls back into his friends who stare in a stunned silence. Ash holds his hand over the place where Claude punched him.

"FUCK YOU!" Ash screams at Claude as he scrambles to his feet.

"Yeah well if you come near Sebastian again I will fuck you up, do you hear me?" Claude's chest heaves in anger as Ash quickly turns, pushing through the crowd of students who stare at us in surprise.

I can't hide my own surprise, I had never thought Claude would stand up for me like that.

It's not that I didn't have a reason to think he would, I just never really expected it.

Turning to face me, Claude grabs my hand and begins leading me to class.

"Thank you." I choke out as I stare at him, still stunned.

"It's not a problem. Sebastian you can't let people treat you like that."

Other students stare, they whisper and point as Claude leads me to class with my hand in his.

"I know... I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, Just promise me, you'll at least try to stand up for yourself?"

The initial surprise wears off, replaced by a nice, warm feeling. My eyes trail down to Claude's hand which encases my own.

"Yes, I will. I will try."

Looking back over his shoulder, Claude smiles at me causing my heart to skip a few beats.

"Good, now lets get to class before we're late. Vaughn doesn't shit around when it comes to getting to class on time."

* * *

_Ash! What a jerk! D: The further we get into the story the more characters you will see from the show. ^.^ I do plan to include Meyrin, Finny and Bard. It's just not time yet. =3 Review! Review! Review! I live for reviews! If you could only see me checking my email from my phone just about every damn hour. Reviews are like souls for me, I need them to survive! xD Anyway, hope you guys enjoy this chapter. I'm so hungry but I held off on eating until I finished it._

_NO this is not a guilt trip, just a sign that I love you guys. =3 ~Sebastian_


	18. Chapter 18

We reach our desks right as the bell rings, Immediately I notice a piece of paper balled up on my seat.

Curious, I pick it up and take my seat. Unraveling it, I find the words; _'Faggot, Loser'_ and _'Kill yourself' _scrawled across the page.

Several students in the classroom snicker, my eyes remain locked on the page as I stare at the words over and over again.

"What is that?" Claude asks, snapping me out of my daze.

"O-Oh, N-nothing it's just trash." I ball the paper up in my hands, ignoring the giggling around the room as our teacher begins the lesson.

Opening up my backpack, I shove the paper inside, not wanting it near me any longer. I couldn't help but feel like touching it was infecting me somehow.

Infecting me with their words, making them true.

_'Maybe they are..'_

* * *

As the bell rings, Claude stands and waits for me while I shove my spiral back into my backpack.

"No idea what that lesson was over, did you understand any of it?"

Pulling my backpack on, I half smile at Claude.

"Yeah, I think so. If you want, I'll help you?"

Claude holds out his hand which I take. Intertwining our fingers he guides me out of the room.

"That would be cool, when do you wanna do that?"

More curious students stare at us as we walk down the hall holding hands. Claude's confidence never falters, he holds his head just as high as always.

"Whenever works for you.. Maybe after work one night.. But wait, where's your class?"

"How about Wednesday? I could stay the night if you and your parents don't mind. And my class is in the same hall as yours, you just never noticed."

My breath hitches at the mention of my parents.

_'He doesn't know...'_

"Yeah, that sounds good."

My thoughts swim with questions of how to tell him, how he would react, what he would say, what I would say.

_'I don't want him to pity me more than he already does.'_

"Claude Faustus."

We both turn to see one of the school police officers standing behind us.

Claude releases my hand, tilting his head at the officer.

"Hey, Officer Frank. What's up?"

"I need you to come with me."

"Is it against the rules to hold my boyfriends hand?"

_'Boyfriend?!'_

Claude laughs as the passing students mouths fly open in surprise.

The officer shifts uncomfortably.

"Don't be a smart-ass, this isn't about that. Follow me."

Claude shrugs, turning to me he mouths _'Sorry'_ before following Officer Frank down the hallway earning him many curious glances from the other students.

I want to follow him, But I know the officer only retrieved him because of his fight with Ash.

Though I fully believe that a bigger part of me wants to ask him if he meant what he said about me being his boyfriend.

* * *

"Everyone is talking about you and Claude."

I look up from my mashed potatoes to Grell who watches me intently.

"Are they? What are they saying?"

"That you guys are together or something. Is that true?"

I look back down at my tray, my green beans were truly pathetic looking. Dark green, mushed and bloated, sitting in a pile of what is likely sugar water.

"I think so, he called me his 'boyfriend' earlier."

Grell slams his fists on the table causing me to jump.

"Seriously?! Bassie that's like the jackpot! You hit the jackpot! Claude is some serious eye-candy. I'm jealous." Grell crosses his arms and looks away with a pout on his face.

I can't help but smile at the crimson haired boy.

"He is pretty cute.."

"He is _really hot_, not pretty cute." Grell corrects me as he takes a bite from his roll.

Looking down at my lap, I begin to wonder where Claude is. I hadn't seen him since the school police officer escorted him away.

_'I hope he didn't get into too much trouble..'_

"Grell!" Grell turns around and waves at the three people heading towards us. Two guys and a girl with pink hair and glasses set their tray's down at our table. I can feel my anxiety pricking at me again as the strangers glance at me.

"Who is this?" The girl asks Grell.

"Sebastian, this is Meyrin." Grell motions to the girl with the round glasses. She smiles, at me before looking to the two other guys.

"Sebastian! I like that name! This is Finny." She points to the skinny boy sitting beside me with blonde hair and red clips in it. Finny smiles at me between mouthfull's of mashed potatoes.

"And this is Bard." Meyrin motions to a taller boy with blonde hair and a muscular build.

"What's up?" Bard smiles at me as he opens his chocolate milk.

I smile at them, trying to form words coherently.

"H-hi.." I half whisper as I stare down at my half eaten tray of food.

"He's a little shy guys, but he'll get used to you eventually."

My face turns red as Grell apologizes for my shyness. I wasn't used to socializing with people, especially in school.

As they all talk, I take in their general appearance. Meyrin was pretty, her pink hair pulled into a singular pony tail, a light fringe crossing her face above her eyes.

She wears a black zip-up jacket, with another black shirt beneath it, her ears are adorned with multiple piercings reminding me of Claude's left ear which also had a few holes in it.

Finny is dressed far more simply in just a green t-shirt and cargo shorts, for as fast as he is eating I can't help but be surprised that he's so skinny.

My eyes slide over to Bard who has already finished most of his food, putting Finny to shame. Bard has a blue hoodie with the words: _'Seattle Central High School Wrestling Team' _written across it in fading white letters.

"Wait, are you the Sebastian everyone is talking about?"

I look up at Meyrin who looks incredibly eager. Grell smiles and shrugs at me, before motioning me to answer her question.

"Y-yes.. I guess so."

"Oh my god that's awesome! I'm glad somebody finally put Ash in his place! That guy is such a jerk!" Both Finny and Bard nod in agreement as Meyrin takes a sip of her juice.

"You should come out with us sometime, you and Claude! Hey what are you doing on Halloween?"

"I-I d-don't have any p-plans." I curse myself for stuttering, as I flush red.

"That's great! All of us are planning on going to this party on the beach, you and Claude should come!"

My lips pull up in a smile as I consider it.

"Which beach again? I forgot." Grell smiles at Meyrin.

"Golden Gardens over in Ballard. It's not too far by car, but they'll be bonfires, drinks and music. It'll be fun!"

"Hell yes it will!" Bard grins at Meyrin who then looks at me expectedly.

"Will you guys come?"

"I-I'll have to a-ask C-Claude.."

Lifting my fork, I begin mushing my green beans into my mashed potatoes.

"Awesome! What's your phone number? I can text you the specifics."

Meyrin pulls out her phone and holds it out to me. Hesitantly, I take it and flip to her contacts before adding my own number.

The bell rings, causing everyone to stand with their tray's in hand.

"I'll text you later!" Meyrin calls as Finny and Bard follow her away.

"Later dudes!" Bard calls to me with a wave.

"Bye, Sebastian, Grell!" Finny smiles as they disappear into the sea of students.

Now with just Grell, I can't help but scowl at him.

"What? I just helped you make three new friends and plans for Halloween. You're welcome."

* * *

Walking into the locker room, I see Claude at his locker stripping his shirt off. Upon noticing me he smiles.

"Hey! Where have you been? I've been texting you."

I pull my phone out and see five texts from him which instantly brings a smile to my lips.

"I don't look at my phone in class, sorry. What happened with the officer anyway?" I ask as I open up my own locker.

"He wrote me up for punching Ash, gave me a lecture on how he _could've sued me for assaul_t. Bullshit like that." Claude laughs as he pulls his gym shirt over his head.

"Well, at least you didn't get into too much trouble."

I pull my cardigan off, suddenly happy that I had stopped cutting for water polo.

"Nah, everyone knows that guy is an asshole. I'm pretty sure they were secretly happy I did it."

A laugh escapes as I unbutton my shirt. I can feel Claude's eyes on me, watching me. He had slowed down on getting changed, choosing to fiddle with loose strings instead.

The other students in the locker room pay us no mind, Claude and I exist in our own little bubble for the time being.

_'It's nice to be left alone for once.'_

Claude's eyes watch me as I pull my shirt off, exposing my upper half to him. I can't help but be embarrassed knowing he's looking.

Pulling my gym shirt on, I slide my pants off, I can hear Claude's breath hitching slightly as he pulls his gym shorts on, his eyes still following me.

_'I wonder if he thinks the same thing while watching me change, as I think while watching him?'_

My face tinges a bright red as I pull my shorts on.

"You want me to wait for you?" Claude asks as I re-lace my shoes.

"If you want." I smile at him before standing and forcing my backpack and clothes into my locker.

Claude crosses his arms at me, a smile playing on his lips as he watches me.

"You're going to make us late." He laughs as we finally begin walking towards the door.

"Didn't think you really cared about being late, considering you have no problem skipping class." I laugh. Claude playfully knocks his shoulder into mine as we walk down the stairs towards the gym.

"Yeah well, maybe I like gym. Who knows?"

Claude pushes the door open to the gym right as the bell rings.

"It's about time you guys got here! Faustus! Michaelis!"

Our coach calls to us with an unamused frown.

_'Please don't make me run laps again...'_

* * *

_This chapter is slightly shorter, sorry but the next scene can't really be split between two chapters without potentially angering you guys.. Soo I'll outline the next chapter tonight and hopefully post it tomorrow. ^.^ Oh and a few people have asked me what the title of the story has to do with anything.. 'Unimagine' is simply the name of one of the albums which I feel works well for Sebastian. It's an album by 'Hands Like Houses'. I encourage everyone to check it out! =3 The second album for the story is 'Don't Panic' by All Time Low. I can't help but feel like 'Somewhere in Neverland' is Sebby's song. 3 ~Sebastian_


	19. Chapter 19

Breathless, I stand hunched over with my hands on my knees. Claude jogs up beside me, laughing as I make every attempt to catch my breath.

"A little out of shape huh?" He teases, placing his hand between my shoulder blades.

We stand in the middle of the black track a couple of blocks from the school. Groups of students run past us but I'm in no hurry to catch up to them.

To prepare us for Water Polo on Wednesday, Coach Will had apparently thought it would be a good idea to up our endurance with running for the whole forty five minute class period.

_'Running always seems so freeing until I actually do it.'_

"Shut... up." I gasp between breaths.

Claude laughs, seemingly unfazed by the ridiculous amount of running we had been doing.

A cold breeze rips through the air, it felt good against my hot, sticky skin. I could feel the sweat dripping down my face, causing my hair to stick close to my head like glue.

_'Ugh, I need a shower.'_

"You should come running with me sometime, whip you into shape."

Having caught my breath, I stand up straight and face Claude who clearly needs a shower as well.

"You're trying to kill me, there's no way. Besides, I have no reason to be able to run for so long, I don't think anybody does."

Raising one eyebrow, Claude pats me roughly on the back before leading me down the track again.

"I do, plenty of people do. Besides what would happen if you were getting chased by some crackhead? You'd need to be able to run fast for a long period of time."

"I don't think crackheads can really run that far or that fast.." I point out.

Our shoes crunch on the random gravel we encounter as we circle the track, I was beginning to feel cold as my sweat drenched shirt is attacked by the brutal Fall wind over and over.

"You associate with crackheads often? Explains why you're so damn skinny. You need a burger or something."

My face blushes red, looking away I cross my arms.

"Time to go change! Hurry!" Our coach calls out, waving his clipboard in the air.

Claude and I stray from the track, crossing over the freshly cut grass in between the oval shaped trail; towards our coach. Some of the students continued running all the way to the gate, but the majority slowed to walk, clearly exhausted by the strenuous exercise.

* * *

_'All of you need to shower, you can't leave until you do. You guys stink.'_

I hold the white towel against my chest, my self-consciousness immediately taking over as I hear the various shower heads turning on.

Claude stands at his locker, his towel lay on the bench as he strips his shirt off. Casting a glance at me, his face tinges pink.

"You outta hurry before the hot water is gone."

_'I don't have a choice.. I think that's the worst part.'_

"Sebastian?"

Meeting his gaze, I pull my shoulders up and sigh before setting my towel down finally.

"Okay.."

I fight the urge to look over at Claude as he pulls his shorts off. I wanted to look, I wanted to see so desperately but I also knew that it would probably embarrass him if he caught me.

_'I'd probably make him angry too.'_

Slowly, I pull my shirt over my head, letting it fall to the floor in front of my locker before pulling my shorts off.

I stand in front of my locker, wearing nothing more than my boxers as I notice Claude wrapping his towel around his waist, his boxers poke out from his locker.

"Are you coming?"

He questions.

Wrapping my arms around my mostly naked body, I feel my face flush a deep red.

"Y-Yeah..."

Claude turns back to his locker, as soon as his eyes leave me I pull my boxers off and whip my towel around me.

_'Except... My towel will come off in the showers...'_

The realization that I would see Claude completely naked suddenly strikes me.

_'Oh my... What if I... What if I get a boner... in the shower... Crap.'_

I follow Claude to the showers, doing my best to think of anything other than him being naked.

_'Think of Obama, Uhh Betty White, Meg Griffin, Stella.'_

Claude pulls his towel off, hanging it on a hook by the entrance to the bathroom before stepping through the threshold. I avert my eyes, staring at the floor as I hesitantly pull my own towel off and hang it up.

The other nameless, faceless students pass me as they leave. Carefully, I step onto the white, cold, wet tile of the showers.

I choose the shower head across from Claude, knowing that not seeing him would fix the majority of my problems.

The hot water drenches my sweaty and exhausted body, washing everything away and leaving me clean again.. I work as quickly as possible to clean my body and all the important bits. When I finally finish, I notice that everyone else including Claude has already left.

Turning the water off, walk out to the hook where I had left my towel.

Only to find the hook empty.

_'This can't be happening..'_

I stare at the hooks for a few seconds, wondering if perhaps my towel was there and I was somehow overlooking it.

_'It's definitely not there..'_

A sigh escapes me as my hands move to cover my exposed dick.

Cautiously, I step away from the shower and towards the lockers. Slowly, I walk to my locker knowing I could always just put my clothes on while wet.

_'I just want to cover up.'_

After wandering past various empty rows, I finally turn the corner to where my locker sits only to see Claude in just his jeans, his white towel hanging over his neck as he fiddles with his shirt.

Noticing me, he turns to face me, before his face flushes a dark red. His eyes scan me up and down, his face seemingly growing redder as his eyes finally settle on where my hands are covering.

Embarrassment fills every corner of my mind, it's not that I minded him seeing me so much as I didn't feel comfortable here.

Claude, snapping out of his daze; pulls the towel off his neck, walking towards me he holds it out, pulling my hands away, he wraps his towel around my hips. I can feel his breath against my chest as he tucks the towel into itself.

I couldn't deny how turned on it made me to feel his breath against my chest, his arms loosely hanging around my waist.

"What happened to your towel?" He questions as he straightens himself out.

"I don't know... It wasn't there when I got out.."

My eyes look to the ground in shame. Claude turns away from me, walking back to his locker he fiddles with his shirt some more before pulling it over his head.

"Well just use mine, no big deal right?"

"Yeah.. Not a big deal.."

It takes me awhile to change, I do my best to hide myself a bit as I dry myself off. Claude sits on the bench, staring at his phone as he waits for me to finish changing.

After pulling my shoes on, I pull my backpack from my locker. Setting it on the bench I pay little mind as it falls from the bench and onto the floor.

"What's this?"

I look over at Claude and notice him reaching down.

_'The paper!'_

"No wait!"

Claude unravels the paper I had received in first period. He freezes as his eyes scan the page over-and-over.

Dread, shame, embarrassment all three hit me at once as I watch him read and re-read the page.

Finally, he lowers the page, his eyes locking onto mine.

"What is this?" He asks angrily.

"It's nothing.. Just trash."

Narrowing his eyes at me, Claude raises from the bench and marches towards me. Slamming his fist against the locker next to me, I can't help but jump at the sound it makes.

"THIS IS NOT NOTHING! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

I want to look away from him, but I can't. I'm frozen in place, my eyes on his furious ones.

"It's really nothing. Don't worry about it."

"WHAT THE FUCK, SEBASTIAN!?"

Claude slams his fist against the locker again before turning away from me, he grabs his backpack, throwing the balled up paper into the trashcan before storming out of the locker room.

_'Why is he mad at me?'_

I slowly gather up my things, pushing my soiled gym clothes into my backpack before exiting the locker room.

I'm a little annoyed, I can't deny that. Claude became so enraged over something that didn't concern him.. Why? It's not like people say things like that to him, why should he care?

Crossing the empty gym, pull my phone out only to see Ciel had texted earlier, saying he had already left with Alois.

Sliding my phone back into my pocket, I can't help but feel the blade that remains hidden there.

_'I'd feel a lot better..'_

_'If I do, everyone will see in the showers after water polo on Wednesday. I can't hide them if I'm naked..'_

My fingers continue to twirl around the blade, my stomach is in knots as I reach the front of the school. Pushing the door open, I'm immediately assaulted by the brutally cold wind.

Shivering, I pull my cardigan down over my fingers, crossing my arms over my chest in an attempt to keep warm.

_'I shouldn't.. I shouldn't. It's a bad idea, somebody will see. And I'll make Ciel sad again.'_

I cross the empty courtyard of the school before stepping out onto the busy sidewalk.

Various people pass me, none of them pay me any mind as I walk quickly towards my apartment.

One of my favorite parts of living in this city is the passive aggressive nature of it's citizens.

Everyone typically ignored everyone else, this isn't to say that if you personally attempted to ask a question, they would ignore you, however they'll typically ignore your presence in general otherwise.

_'I can disappear out here.'_

My pace slows as I walk up the hill towards my apartment. I pass the convention center, the smell of crêpes fills my nose demanding my attention.

_'I'll eat when I get home.' _

As soon as this thought enters my mind, I immediately know it's a lie.

I probably won't eat, even if I think I will.

Sometimes, I just can't.

"Sebastian, wait!"

I stop walking, the sound of Claude's voice echo's slightly through the covered convention entrance.

_'Is that... Claude I just... heard?'_

Looking over my shoulder, I see Claude running up behind me, his nose a bright red from the cold weather.

_'I don't want to argue out here..'_

My lips pull into a frown as I turn away from him and continue walking.

I was slightly annoyed at him for being angry over something that didn't concern him, and I wasn't interested in arguing out in public.

"Goddamn't Sebastian wait!"

Claude's hand wraps around my wrist as he comes up beside me.

I pull my arm away, narrowing my eyes at him I feel my annoyance raise to a higher level than before.

"What do you want? To yell at me more? Go ahead! I didn't do anything wrong! I don't know why you're so mad at me!"

Claude looks surprised by my outburst, his eyebrows furrowing slightly as a corner of his mouth pulls down.

"I'm not mad at you! I'm mad at everyone, especially those punks who wrote you that note. God Sebastian, why do you let people treat you like that? Why?"

People begin to stare as they pass us, their curious glances are ignored as we're already locked in our own verbal battle.

"I don't _allow_ it! There's nothing I can do about it."

"Stand up for yourself! Do something other than let them walk all over you!" Claude shouts back at me, his hands curled into angry fists.

"That's great advice coming from somebody who used to bully me!" I shoot back, venom dripping like acid from my voice.

Claude's features soften, hurt overtaking his expression as his eyes look away, fixating on the ground instead.

"You just have to try." Claude finally breathes as he brings his gaze back up to mine.

I open my mouth, prepared to fire back but am quickly stopped by Claude who grabs the front of my shirt, pulling me to him before pressing his lips against mine.

* * *

_Oh god, I can already foresee the angry reviews I'm going to get for cutting off here._

_Please be gentle, I am but a weak butterfly. XD ~Sebastian_


	20. Chapter 20

_Hey guys, just so you know I'm not going to place trigger warnings at the top of specifically trigger chapters anymore. Just so you guys know. ~Sebastian_

* * *

Claude's lips feel warm as they encase mine. His hand drops from my shirt, moving to my hip instead while his other hand holds my shoulder.

All my anger slowly dissipates.

I'm so surprised I can't think, I can't hear, all I can do is feel the warmth of his mouth against mine.

Much to my dismay, Claude pulls away, his face slightly red as he smiles down at me.

I'm positive my face is a dark red, even still, I can't help but smile as well.

_'My first kiss..'_

"If you won't stand up for yourself than I will, You deserve more than that."

My throat is in knots, I want to tell him that he doesn't have to worry about me, that I can take care of myself.

But no words will come out, all I can think of is how desperately I want to feel his lips again.

Tilting his head at me, Claude lets out a low chuckle before kissing me again.

His arms wrap around me; embracing me fully as his lips remain connected to mine.

He feels warm, his body heat radiating onto my cold frame.

_'When.. did I last feel this safe?'_

I push the thought away as quickly as it came, knowing the answer.

Pulling away, Claude releases me and steps back. I notice a few people staring at us curiously as they pass by, surely we were a strange sight.

"You work today too right?" I ask shyly.

"Yeah.. We should probably get going.. I start soon."

He holds out his hand which I accept without word.

We walk in silence for a few minutes, the day seems to grow colder as we walk.

Noticing my shivering, Claude releases my hand, opting to wrap his arm around my shoulders, pulling me near him instead.

It felt nice to be this close to somebody, to feel as though somebody would care if you suddenly disappeared.

"Hey Claude?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you mean what you said in the hallway earlier?"

I couldn't deny I was nervous to know the answer to this, but I had to ask.

"I said a lot of things in the hallway, what specifically?"

My shoulders shift uncomfortably as I glance down at our intertwined hands.

"Never mind." Shyness overtakes me, I shake my head as a frown begins to pull at my lips.

"Seb, come on. Out with it."

A low groan escapes, my heart is pounding so hard as I try to think of how to word this without sounding stupid.

_'What if he didn't mean it? I'm going to sound so stupid and needy.'_

"What you told the officer..."

I trail off, hoping he would get what I was saying.

"Yeah? What did I tell him?"

"You uh... You told him.. That.. I'm your boyfriend.."

Claude's hand tightens around mine, I can feel his eyes drift over to me.

"I know you never said that you like me or anything, but I still think of you as my boyfriend."

"I like you, I do! I think you're cute and funny and you make me feel really weird when you're near me but sometimes I just have trouble reading my own emotions and-."

Claude cuts me off by laughing. I can't help but slink back a little, had I said something weird again?

"So than you're my boyfriend. Right?"

Bringing my gaze up to meet his brown eyes, I nod slowly.

"Yes.. I think so."

* * *

My hands carefully squeeze the pastry bag. The white icing comes out in neat ribbons, surrounding the base of the cake.

Claude works beside me, his hands carefully crafting a drawing atop a double layered cake for another birthday party.

Pursing my lips together, I grab the second pastry bag and carefully begin adding flowers to the top of the cake. Creating flowers is both my favorite and least favorite part of cake decorating because it takes so much concentration to ensure they come out properly.

I hear Claude chuckle but I don't dare look away from my creation.

"What?" I question, my eyes never leaving the flower I'm carefully crafting.

"Nothing, you just look so serious." Claude laughs again, causing me to finally turn to glare at him.

"Oh no!"

The tip of my pastry bag brushes against a flower petal, slightly disheveling it.

My shoulders drop in defeat, I mutter a curse under my breath before extracting the frosting flower from the cake, dropping it into the sink behind us.

"You outta pay more attention, Seb."

Glaring at the taller boy, I point my pastry bag in his face.

"Stop distracting me! I need to finish this."

"Hey, I'm not doing anything. It's you that's being distracting."

"Jerk."

Claude gives me his best 'hurt' look before laughing again, a smile playing across his lips.

Turning back to my cake, begin crafting a new flower this time ignoring all of Claude's tiny remarks.

Once I finish the first flower, I work on the next two before finally finishing the cake.

"You guys want a break?" I look up to see my Aunt standing in the doorway of her office. Her red hair pulled into a tight pony tail, she wears a fashionable black suit with a gold necklace trailing over the front.

"Yes, please." I smile at her before looking to Claude who smiles at my Aunt.

"That sounds great."

"Okay, fifteen minutes then get your butts back in here and finish for the day."

Aunt Angie smiles at both of us before disappearing back inside her office.

Claude and I waste no time pulling our aprons off and hanging them on the rack before heading out back into the ally behind the cafe.

The cold night air wastes no time infiltrating my small frame. A shiver instantly overtakes me as I bring my hands up to rub my arms. The door closes with a loud _'bang'_ behind Claude who gives me a sympathetic smile.

"Cold?"

Claude zips up his jacket as he steps off the two stairs leading up to the door, rubbing his hands together as he glances up at the night sky.

Motioning to his black zip-up jacket, gloves and blue jeans, my teeth clatter as I respond.

"O-Of course, a-all I h-have is my c-cardigan, n-not nearly a-as w-warm a-as what y-you h-have o-on."

Laughing, Claude reaches out and pulls me into a hug, shielding my body from the wind with his.

Burying my face in the crook of his neck, my cold nose presses against his warm skin.

"Maybe you should go buy a warmer jacket."

He suggests, leaning us against the brick building across from the cafe.

"I'll consider it." I laugh, knowing he was right. With winter quickly approaching, I definitely needed something warmer than my flimsy cardigans.

Traffic and conversations of passing strangers are all we can hear as we stand in silence, simply taking pleasure in our closeness. The smell of Claude's cologne is overwhelming, I wanted nothing more than to smell it all the time.

"Hey, Claude? I have a question?"

Looking down at me, his expression remains blank.

"Hmm?"

"Why do you always wear your gloves? Do you ever take them off?"

Claude's expression quickly changes, his eyebrows furrow together, pain flashes through his eyes quickly replaced by annoyance.

"Don't worry about that, they're just gloves."

"But-" Claude cuts me off, pulling away slightly; he pushes my back against the brick building, his lips covering mine.

My initial question melts away, all I can think about now is this kiss and the feeling, the taste of his lips.

Pushing his body against me, his hands hold a firm grip on my hips as he presses his own hips against mine.

I feel his tongue pushing against my teeth, requesting entry.

I quickly oblige, allowing our tongues to mingle together for the first time.

Claude's hands work up from my hips, sliding over my waist then up to my chest.

I had never been touched like this before, I'd be lying if I said I didn't love it.

"Uhm, Excuse me?"

Claude and I immediately break apart, our eyes focusing on my Aunt who stands at the backdoor looking _anything_ but pleased.

"Sebastian, Claude.. Sorry to intrude on your little rendezvous, however you are aware that I have camera's back here right? This isn't exactly appropriate for work. I'm a little disappointed in you particularly, Sebastian."

Her gaze settles on me, causing my eyes to immediately cast down to the pavement in embarrassment.

"If you guys want to make face, go upstairs. But don't do that at work, especially not where I can see you."

My face blushes red, want to laugh but I know it would likely make her angry so I keep quiet.

"Your breaks are over, come finish up then you're free to go."

My Aunt turns to leave, before stopping and casting us a look over her shoulder.

"One last thing..."

Claude and I both look up at her, a smile crossing her lips before she speaks.

"Claude, you better not touch my darling nephew without a condom. I'll kill you."

This time I can't stop myself, I burst out laughing as Claude's face blushes the darkest shade of crimson I have ever seen before. His expression completed duped as he watches the backdoor slam shut.

"It's not funny!" He growls as I hold my stomach in pain, laughing was quite painful apparently.

"It is funny, because she said something similar to me too!"

Kicking at a rock on the ground, Claude mumbles something before pulling the door open, this time holding it open for me.

"Wait, nephew? She's your Aunt?" Claude blocks the doorway as he looks at me, waiting for my response.

"Yeah, didn't you know that?"

"No.. Oh that makes this so much worse, fuck!"

Claude swipes an apron from the rack, clearly annoyed.

_'Well... I still think it's funny.'_

* * *

After my shower I lay in the darkness on my bed with Stella on my stomach. I pet her slowly, enjoying the soft '_pur'_ of enjoyment she makes

My phone suddenly lights up, the soft blue glow illuminating my room slightly.

After unlocking my phone, I notice a text from a number I didn't recognize.

**Unknown Number:**

_'Sebastian it's Meyrin! :) Hey did you ask Claude about Halloween yet? _

_Anyway, it's at 8pm on Halloween night at Golden Gardens in Ballard, make sure you have a designated driver if you plan on drinking! Oh and it's BYOB just so you know! Let me know if you guys are coming!'_

I save her number before typing back, letting her know that I still needed to ask Claude.

_'I should've done that earlier.. Maybe I should just text him? No.. That's too impersonal, I'll ask him tomorrow at school.'_

Locking my phone, I let it fall back onto my bed. I hadn't even told Ciel about my plans, I hadn't told anybody that I had made new friends.

_'Why?'_

Maybe It's because I'm afraid they'll betray me.. I don't really know.

My thoughts slide back to Claude, I replay the kiss in the ally, his body pressed up against mine, his tongue moving against mine.

_'All of that, after I asked him about his gloves?'_

Furrowing my eyebrows, I stop petting Stella as the thought creates a question in my brain.

_'What is he hiding... And why is he hiding it from me?'_

Nothing seems to make sense, he wears his gloves while showering at school, he wore them while showering here, or maybe he took them off then put them back on? He wears them at work.. I've never seen him without them.

_'He's definitely hiding something... But what?'_

* * *

_At least I didn't end this chapter like I did the last. Haha =3 _

_Anyway, I'll post some photos on my NerdySebby instagram, photos of some of the places they go in Seattle to give you guys a better idea. It's hard to describe the Convention center that Sebby walks through, you'd really just have to see it. XD Writing this is making me miss Seattle so hard.. I definitely need to move back.. Gah, anyway.. I'll stop rambling. x] ~Sebastian_


	21. Chapter 21

_Sorry I haven't been updating as quickly... I was out of town for a few days, then I had a bunch of work related stuff to deal with. On the plus side, I just bought some new work clothes. =D_

_On the other plus side, I bought muffins._

_Sooo I'm going to write this chapter. I'm going to write it so hard._

_And hope that you guys like it, And review it.._

_So review it maybe? x]_

_And I do solemnly swear, Nerdy Sebastian WILL have an ending, I've outlined the entire story, I know how I'm going to end it and I will not stop writing it until it is done. _

_Though.. I don't know how many chapters it will take to finish it... So I can't estimate when it will end._

_But hopefully within the next month or two? =3_

* * *

_I'm in the car with my parents. Ciel is beside me pounding on his gameboy as the radio plays loudly. _

_Reaching up I tap my mom on the shoulder._

_"Mom?"_

_"Yes, Sebby?" She turns to face me, her long, black hair almost completely covering her right eye as she does so. _

_"My stomach hurts, I think I'm going to throw up." _

_Her eyebrows pull together, she turns to my dad._

_"Vincent I think we need to stop." _

_"We can't stop now, hun. We're almost home. Do you think you'll be ok until we get home, buddy?"_

_My arms cross over my stomach. I knew I could probably wait until we arrived home, but I just wanted this feeling to go away now._

_"I don't think so." I reply, trying to look as sick as possible._

_My dad lets out a sigh, Ciel glances up from his gameboy to me. He says something I can't understand, it sounds gargled but I nod at him anyway._

_My dad turns the car to the side of the road. As we roll to a stop, he switches the car into park._

_The next thing I know it's dark._

_It's so loud._

_I want to cover my ears, hide from the noise._

_Instead I open my eyes._

_I'm upside down, Ciel hangs limply beside me, crimson blood spreading over his forehead and into his hair._

_It takes me a moment to register the pain in my arm. Looking up I see my arms hanging above me, one looks fine._

_The other bends at a weird angle, the whiteness of my bone visible through the surface._

_Reaching forward, I grab for my mom who doesn't respond. I scream at her but no sounds come out. _

_I can see lights flashing, blue and red. The sound of voices yelling and machines going._

_My door suddenly disappears, a fireman replaces it, Bending down, he looks inside._

_Our eyes meet. Horror plays on his face at what is surely a grizzly scene._

_He opens his mouth, he's speaking to me but I can't hear him._

_Shaking my head, I frantically open my mouth and try to scream but again, nothing comes out._

_A second fireman appears, together they cut my seatbelt and carry me from the car._

_I'm carried to the ambulance that awaits, but my eyes never leave our car._

_Broken glass and bits of our car scatter the street._

_Multiple police cars, ambulances and firetrucks block off the road from curious drivers._

_Red and blue lights bounce off of every surface._

_The paramedics try to take me away, but I kick and scream, my eyes never leaving the car as I watch them pull Ciel out of the wreckage._

_A large glass shard lodged in his eye._

_He's carried to the ambulance adjacent to mine, but he's not moving._

_My eyes quickly dart back to the car as I fight against the paramedics, screaming in silence._

_My heart is pounding. I'm terrified._

_The entire scene disappears._

_I'm standing in the hospital, beside my mom's hospital bed._

_The white, blanket is pulled over her face, all of the machines are off._

_I'm all alone, staring at someone who was just here a few hours ago._

_Next I'm at my dad's bed._

_The same scene._

_Nurses stand around me, they hug me as tears streak my face._

_I'm so confused._

_All I am is confused._

_I did this._

_This is my fault.. If I hadn't.. If I hadn't made them stop.._

_My mouth cracks open, a scream rips out of me as I drop to my knees holding my head in my hands._

_Why? _

I awake in a cold sweat, panting heavily as my heart pounds inside my chest.

The urge to vomit weighs heavily in my throat, although I don't feel sick.

Staring at my ceiling, I try to push the memory of the dream from my mind. I haven't had that dream in such a long time, I had hoped it was gone for good.

Sitting up, I notice my boxers are completely soaked in my sweat as well as my bed and pillow. Glancing at my clock I notice it's only five in the morning.

_'I can't go back to sleep now..'_

Shakily, I climb out of my bed and grab my towel off of my computer chair.

I move quietly to my bathroom before turning the hot water on as far as it would go.

I wanted to scald these images from my brain, I never wanted to remember this.

Stripping my boxers off, I let them drop to the floor before stepping under the boiling water. My skin redden's instantly as the water slides over my exposed skin.

Pain gnaws at me but I don't dare move, this pain was all that was keeping me from completely breaking down again.

Dropping my head, I bring my hands up to my face as the tears seep out anyway.

My parents... Ciel's eye..

If only I hadn't made them stop.

I could've waited until I got home.

I could've waited.

* * *

"Sebby are you sick?"

I look down at Ciel who looks back up at me with concern plaguing his innocent features.

Shaking my head, I pull my cardigan down over my hands as a cold wind slices through me.

"No, I'm just tired." I force a smile, but I can't even convince myself with it.

My feet drag, almost as though they're filled with lead as we walk down the wide, city, sidewalk towards school.

My hands grasp the black straps of my backpack which loops over my shoulders, I couldn't deny that today I was feeling particularly depressed.

I didn't want to go to school, I didn't want to do anything but hide in my room but my Aunt wouldn't allow it.

Ciel looks back up at me, I can't help but meet his gaze before my eyes fix on the black eyepatch which covers his right eye.

_A large glass shard, lodged in his eye._

Immediately I begin to wish I was alone, so I could go to the bathroom inside one of these stores and push my fingers down my throat.

_'Anything to make these memories go away..'_

"Alois said you and Claude can come with us on Halloween if you want?"

I blink for a few moments as the image of his limp body hanging upside down in the car slowly dissipates.

"Oh.. I was invited to a party already.. I just need to ask Claude."

A smile spreads over Ciel's face as we stop at a crosswalk.

Cars pass by us, I can't deny the sudden urge to step in front of one.

"Really? That's awesome! Who invited you?"

"Grell and his friends.. It's at Golden Gardens."

Ciel's smile grows even wider, I notice his nose is a bit red from the cold air.

As we cross the road, I can see the courtyard is a little less congested than usual, probably due to the cold front that caused the temperature to suddenly drop to fifty degrees.

"That's lucky! Golden Garden's is so cool." Crossing his arms, Ciel jumps onto the sidewalk.

"I want to go."

"You guys can if you want. It's not like the beach is reserved or anything."

Ciel remains quiet, pulling out his phone his fingers rapidly type before he sends a text message shooting throughout the airwaves.

As we approach the school, dread quickly fills me as I again wish I was home in bed.

_'I need to wash my sheets anyway..'_

"Well I'll see you later." I wave Ciel off, watching Alois quickly take up residence beside him.

My gaze turns back to the ground as I slowly walk towards the school building, climbing the stairs I pull the door open and step inside the obnoxiously loud establishment.

Nobody says anything to me as I walk to class. Perhaps I had finally succeeded in becoming invisible at will.

As I enter my classroom, I look up for a moment only to see I was the first to arrive.

Dropping my backpack on my desk, I slide into my seat before immediately laying my head in my arms and closing my eyes.

I'm tired, and I'm hungry. I had refused breakfast, the guilt was too much to bare.

How could I ever tell apologize to Ciel for essentially killing our parents and ruining his eye?

I'm certain he blames me, how could he not? I don't even want to think about the time we spent after the accident..

He wouldn't look at anybody, he wouldn't talk, he wouldn't eat, he wouldn't smile.

He just laid in silence on his hospital bed, day-in-and-day-out, unmoving.

Crushing my face into my arms harder, I fail to notice Claude take his seat beside me. His hand slides over my back, causing me to jolt upright.

Locking eyes with him, I see a small smile pulling at the corners of his lips. His black hair holding the same perfect position it always held.

"Are you okay?"

My eyes slide away from his, dropping to his desk, and then to mine.

"I'm fine, I'm just tired."

Claude tilts his head to the side, his gloved hand rubbing at my back.

His mouth opens slightly before he closes it again. Surely he doesn't believe my excuse, but he doesn't question it.

I drop my head into my arms again, not wanting to look or speak to anybody.

_'I just want to disappear.'_

* * *

School had gone by slowly. I hid in the bathroom at lunch, successfully avoiding Grell and his friends.

I hate feeling this way, it's miserable and lonely.

But I can't tolerate myself right now, I can't look at myself.

I hate myself.

My hands carefully slice the lemon before me as Claude works silently beside me. He had made multiple attempts at conversation all day, each of which I shot down politely.

I could tell his patience was wearing thin, he wanted to talk to me but I wouldn't allow him.

At one point he had asked if he had done something to upset me, which I had denied.

It's not you, it's me.

I finally finish slicing my lemon and grab the next one. It's taking me much longer than usual to slice the fruit, I could tell it was bothering my Aunt by the way she continuously peeked out of her office or hovered around us asking unnecessary questions about the knives we were using her the pastry nozzle Claude had selected to ice the cake.

I hear Claude sigh as he carefully crafts a flower atop the white frosted cake.

Upon finishing slicing my lemon, I gather all the slices into a bowl which I cover then place in the small fridge below the counter. Turning around I grab all the ingredients I had gathered earlier for a cake. Dropping them onto the counter I begin adding each dry ingredient to the mixing bowl I had set aside before dropping in the wet ingredients.

Reaching for the whisk I had set out earlier, I quietly begin to mix all the ingredients together. I could almost physically feel Claude's annoyance at this point.

My Aunt's head pokes out of her office for the millionth time, she points at me before motioning for me to enter her office.

Setting the bowl down, I silently oblige, knowing I was likely going to be lectured.

Pushing the door open, I step inside the small office. My Aunt sits behind her desk, paperwork piled all around her.

"Close the door please."

After closing the door I clasp my hands together in front of me, a little nervous at this point.

"Sebastian.. Are you feeling ok? You're not sick or anything are you?"

"No.. I'm fine I just didn't sleep well last night."

Narrowing her eyes, she points her pen at me.

"You're not getting bullied again are you?"

"That's not it, I'm just tired."

She still doesn't seem to buy my excuse, and pushes onward.

"Did you and Claude get into a fight?"

Shaking my head, I deny it, promising that-that isn't it.

The suspicion on her face never falters even as a sigh escapes her.

"Okay, alright. You can go. Just.. Promise me you'll tell me if something is bothering you? I'm your Aunt, I do care."

A weak smile forms, my head bobbing.

"Yes, I know. Thank you but don't worry, I'm fine."

I can see my Aunt shaking her head in disbelief as I exit her office. I didn't like lying to her, but this isn't exactly something I can freely admit.

Returning to the counter, Claude casts me a curious glance mixed with concern. His hands carefully line a cake with ribbons of frosting as I return to mixing my cake batter.

I was feeling for anything, even a spiders thread to pull me from this emotional rut.

_'I don't want to feel like this anymore.'_

Claude sucks in a breath, never looking at me as he begins to talk.

"I was thinking.."

"Hmm?" I respond, hating that my lack of desire for conversation was clearly bothering him.

"I.."

Claude stops, taking a moment set his pastry bag down and look at me.

I don't look up from my mixing bowl, not wanting him to see my guilt.

"I want to meet your parents." He finally spits out.

My hand immediately stops moving, I stare into the mixing bowl with a blank expression.

Claude doesn't say anything, watching me instead as I do nothing.

"Why?" I question, annoyance plaguing my voice.

"So I can prove that I'm serious about this relationship!"

"Are you?"

"Yes, I am. And I want to show it to them too."

Slowly, I begin to mix the cake batter again, assaulting every bubble of dry mix that I can see with my wire whisk.

"Okay."

My voice is monotone, my eyes never moving from the bowl.

"When do you want to go?" Excitement fills Claude's voice, I can tell he's smiling but I don't look.

_'Even though I love his smile.. What the hell is wrong with me?'_

"We can go after work if you want. Do you have a car?"

Finally I lift my eyes from the bowl, locking eyes with Claude who seems confused.

"But.. Wait, they don't live with you? And won't they be bothered by us just dropping by like that on such a short notice?"

Shaking my head, I think back to where they live now.

"No, and I'm sure they won't mind."

"I have a car. I'll have to go home and get it though. How far away do they live?"

"Not far, it'll take about ten minutes from here."

I don't feel anything but fear as I consider the possibility of him being weirded out by knowing my parents are dead.

_'That doesn't make sense though. Why would he be freaked out?'_

_'Who knows? Why does anybody do anything?'_

"Then after work I'll go get my car and we can go! Should I bring anything?"

A small smile forms on my lips. A real smile.

"Flowers... Bring flowers."

* * *

_Bad feels.._

_I know.._

_Sorry guys._

_._

_~Sebastian_


	22. Chapter 22

Believe it or not, but I created a playlist for this chapter. XD Go have a listen while you read maybe? =3

watch?v=SFGvmrJ5rjM&feature=share&list=PL9U7rgJbxcU1akETXrTZxuCPvXYpTYinw

* * *

I can hear the rain pelting the window panes as I wipe off the preparation counter where Claude and I usually decorate cakes.

Most of the other employee's have already left, leaving Ciel, my Aunt and I to perform the closing procedures.

Anxiety slowly builds inside me, I'm angry at myself for agreeing to let Claude meet my parents.

But at the same time I know he needs to know, It's not like I could hide this from him forever.

Upon finishing cleaning, I untie my apron, walking it to rack, I silently hook the loop over the silver hook as I always did.

Claude had left earlier to retrieve is car, promising he would text me when he left his house.

Due to the rain I couldn't stop myself from worrying that something had happened.

_'Don't think like that, he'll be okay. It rains enough here, he should know how to drive in it.'_

It was a good thought to have, however it doesn't rain often in Seattle during the summer and I had no way of knowing when he had earned his license so maybe..

_'Maybe he doesn't know how to drive in the rain?'_

Pushing the thought away, I can't help but crack a small smile at how stupid it is.

_'Of course he can drive in the rain, we live in Seattle. Stop worrying.'_

I had considered getting a license myself many times, but considering I live in the city, driving is unnecessary as everything is close together and everything else you can get to by bus or train.

_'Not only that.. But I'm afraid of cars..'_

Stepping back from the rack, I turn my head towards my Aunt's office noticing a small crack of light gleaming through the door frame.

I head over to her office, knocking lightly before pushing the door open a little wider.

My Aunt sits on her padded computer chair, the paperwork mess now organized in little wire bins to the right of her computer.

Looking up from her monitor, she smiles at me.

"Hey, Sebastian. What's up?"

A small smile again pulls at my lips. I feel a bit bad for bringing this up considering the dark bags under her eyes from the stress of not only raising two teenagers but running a café at the same time.

"I'm going out, I'll be home a little later. Is that ok?"

My Aunt turns away from me, shaking her head.

"No, it's a school night, Sebastian. You know better."

My heart begins to pound a little harder, for some reason I _wanted_ to go, and I _wanted_ her to say yes.

"Please? I won't be home too late, I promise."

Aunt Angie sighs, running her hand through her short red hair she leans back in her chair and looks at me.

"Where is it you want to go so badly?"

"I'm.. Going to introduce Claude to my parents."

Her face falls, sadness brimming in her eyes as she stares at me.

I can't help but look down, I didn't like bringing up my parents around her, I knew it was just as sad for her considering it was her sister she lost.

My Aunt is quiet for a moment, turning away from me she focuses on her computer monitor again.

"Okay, you can go. Just be home before eleven.. How are you getting there?"

"Claude's going to drive, he went home to get his car."

Looking down at her desk, I can tell she's bothered by this conversation and my going out so late on a school night.

"Ok, but Claude should stay the night, his parents probably don't want him on the road late at night in the rain. Especially not with the way these people around here drive. I swear it's like they just hand out licenses at the DMV."

She smiles at me, but the smile does nothing to mask the pain which is so blatantly carved on her normally happy features.

"Okay, I'll tell him.. Thank you."

Surprisingly, my Aunt rises from her chair, circling around her 'L' shaped desk she pulls me into a hug.

"Good luck."

The simple term surprises me, but I wrap my arms around her small frame anyway. After all she had done for both Ciel and I, I definitely need to pay her back one day.

She pulls away first, smiling at me although tears well in her eyes.

"Thank you, I'll text you when I'm on my way home."

"Okay, be safe please. And you and Claude remember, no hankey pankey while I'm home. That's just weird."

She fakes a shudder before turning back to her desk.

"Don't worry, they'll be none of that."

My phone buzzes in my pocket, sliding it out I see Claude's name flashing across my screen.

Answering the phone, I press it to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Sebastian, I'm out front. I'm in the black, Dodge Charger."

_'A Dodge Charger? Geez what do his parents do for a living?'_

"Ok, I'm on my way."

Ending the call, I wave goodbye to my Aunt and exit her office, leaving the door open just a crack as I do so.

My shoes click slightly on the tile floor of the kitchen as I make my way to the backdoor which leads to our alley. Unfortunately the front doors had already been locked so this was my only way to exit now.

Swinging the door open, a rush of cold wind slams into me coupled with sporadic sprinkles of the rain which is currently drenching the city.

"I really do need to buy a warmer jacket." I mumble to myself, pulling the black sleeves of my cardigan down over my hands as I trot down the stairs to the pavement.

Walking down the cold, wet alley way, it takes me mere seconds to make it out onto the sidewalk. Streetlights illuminate the way as both locals and tourists walk down the wet sidewalks.

Tourists are always easy to spot, they always have umbrella's, but real Seattalites never use umbrella's. The reason for this is easy, the wind downtown is ferocious and will break an umbrella in seconds so using one is generally pointless.

I can't help but smile as I watch a few tourists fight with their umbrella's which have turned inside out due to the force of the wind. I fully believed we should have a sign at the airport or something explaining why umbrella's don't work down here.

The rain relentlessly pours down on me, I can feel it soaking through my cardigan to the green button down I wear underneath.

As I approach the front of the bakery, I see a black Dodge Charger parallel parked on the curb in-front of our cafe.

Walking up to it, I can just barely make out Claude's silhouette through the intensely dark tented windows of the car.

I raise one freezing hand to wave at him before hearing the locks on his car click. Rolling down his windows he tells me to get in the passengers side.

Sliding between his car and the red SUV parked in-front of him, I pull open the passenger side door and quickly slide inside. The black leather seat is warm as the heater's pulse out more hot goodness.

Holding my hands up to the vents, I look over to Claude who grins from ear-to-ear.

I can't help but notice he's now wearing a blue zip-up hoodie over a light blue shirt. His gloved hands grip the steering wheel as he watches me.

"You didn't bring a warmer jacket did you?" He laughs before pointing to the seatbelt.

"Buckle up before we go anywhere."

I oblige, sliding my seatbelt across my waist before bringing my hands back up to the warm vents.

"No, not yet."

Claude laughs at my response, reaching into his backseat he extracts his black zip up hoodie, dropping it onto my lap he turns the radio on.

"Take off your cardigan and put this on, it's much warmer."

"No, this will get wet if I do! I'll be ok."

"Sebastian put that on, you'll catch a cold otherwise, besides I can just wash it, it's not like jackets are never supposed to get wet."

He shifts the car into reverse and carefully begins to pull out of his parallel parking spot as I strip off my wet cardigan, slipping on his black jacket instead.

"That looks huge on you."

Claude mentions as we drive down the road.

I hold my hand up to my eyes, the sleeves came down almost completely to my fingertips, it felt like wearing a poncho.

"Sorry for being small." I mumble, leaning back in my seat as I look around the car.

The center console is amazing, a screen displaying the song title and artist sits between two vents, slightly below the windshield.

Blue lights illuminate the cigarette lighter in front of the gear shift which is black with a shiny silver stick.

Every part of this car was amazing, as we drove it was silent aside from the music pulsing through the speaker.

"Where do I go?" Claude asks as we pull up to a stop sign.

"Take a left, then follow this road to East John. Make a left on 15th then just follow the road to East Howe street, I'll tell you where to go after that."

Claude nods, I don't think he had quite registered where these directions led. But then again, on first glance I could be leading him to the neighborhood near Volunteer Park which is attached to the cemetery.

"Who's this?" I ask Claude whose eyes are fixed on the empty strip of road ahead of us.

"Whose what?"

"The music, the band."

"It's on the screen." Claude taps his finger on the clear glass covering the screen on his center console.

"It's Hands like Houses, Oceandust from their _Unimagine_ album."

"Oh, I like it.. It sounds nice."

Claude smiles, one gloved hand moves off the steering wheel, finding it's way to my hand as he intertwines his fingers with mine.

"Do they know you're gay?"

He asks suddenly as we wait at a stop light. I can see people on the sidewalk outside of bars with cigarettes hanging from their lips. White clouds of smoke drift slowly away from them, hindered by the rain.

"Yes they know. I don't think they care." It wasn't exactly a lie, but I couldn't deny the vagueness of my response.

"That's good, I haven't told my parents yet. I don't think they'd care but I just haven't figured out how to tell them.. You know?"

My eyes drop to my lap as I feel the car pull forward. Claude's hand fit so nicely into mine, his warmth transmitting into my cold hand.

"Yes, I know."

* * *

Claude slowly pulls through the gates of the cemetery. His eyebrows are pulled together in confusion as I point him to the the small parking area. He parks before turning off his car. Sitting in his seat he turns to look at me but I don't meet his gaze. Instead I pull the hood of his jacket over my head and step out of the car onto the wet gravel below.

Claude's door opens and closes before he gets into the back seat, extracting a beautiful bouquet of yellow roses.

The rain slices like icicles into my face as I stare into the darkened cemetery. Claude rounds the car, his shoes crunching on the gravel as he comes up beside me. Intertwining his fingers with mine again, he looks out at the tombstones and mausoleum's.

"Where do we go now?" He questions, looking at me expectedly.

"This way." I begin to walk, pulling him into the field of graves.

My heart beat begins to race as I spot the two gravestones sitting below a nearly bare tree. Red and orange leaves scatter around the grave site and tombstones, I can see two bouquets of flowers laying beside the grey stones.

_'Tulips.. Aunt Angie has been here..'_

As we approach, I let go of Claude's hand and turn to him.

"What are we doing here?" He asks, hesitation in his voice.

"You wanted to meet my parents.."

I hold my hand out towards the two tombstones, my eyes cast to the ground as anxiety again begins to well in my chest.

"They're..." Claude trails off, the sound of rain fills our ears as his eyes remain fixed on the tombstones.

"Oh god... Sebastian.."

* * *

I feel so bad for Sebastian.. Gah! .

Don't forget to review, please! =3

I check my email like a crazy person after posting a chapter, I love, love, love, love reading reviews!

Although I can't really reply to them.. So if you want a response send me a message or comment on Instagram or I don't know ask me on Tumblr!

~Sebastian


	23. Chapter 23

_So I'm seriously curious.. How many of you guys have actually looked up the album 'Unimagine' by Hands Like Houses?_

_Considering this story was titled after the album.. I sort of hope a lot of you guys did. XD It's horribly symbolic to the theme of this story. And it's alllll oovvveerrr youtube. _

_Anyway.. I have the full album playing while I write this. So hopefully it comes out just dandy. =3_

* * *

Claude's eyes are piercing, they see into my soul.

Shame, guilt, cowardice, they all overtake my small, shivering frame as I look away.

My heart is pounding, vibrating my ribs with every solid beat as it threatens to jump from it's little cage.

Bending down, Claude places the yellow roses between the two gravesite's of my late parents. I can see his lips moving, but I can't hear the sound over the rain.

I pull the sleeves of my borrowed jacket down over my freezing, wet hands, my eyes lock onto my shoes as I watch little trickles of rain hit the white, rubber toe before sliding over the edge.

"Can I ask.. What happened?"

My lids encase my eyes showing me the darkness within my mind as the events of the night begin to flash before my eyes in no specific order.

I can feel my freezing hands became sweaty, my entire body begins to shake as I breathe out a small sigh.

Opening my eyes, I slide my gaze up to meet Claude's.

_'I have to tell him.'_

"I was eleven years old.. We were on our way home from the movies. We had taken a small backroad.. A little two lane road.. It was pretty dark outside, and I started to feel a little sick..."

My breath catches as the scene plays over in my head, the sound of bending metal and shattering glass fills my ears. Clenching my numb hands into fists, I continue speaking although my voice shakes.

"I told my mom, and she made my dad stop. I-I... I shouldn't have.. I could've waited until we got home.. We were so close.. So close... My dad pulled off to the side of the road, and then.."

Pausing for a moment, my gaze drops back to my shoes which are thoroughly soaked leaving my feet just as freezing as my hands.

"All I remember is darkness... And then.. I was upside down.. Ciel.. Glass in his eye.. Blood dripping from his head.. And my parents.. They wouldn't respond to me. My arm was visibly broken.. Two firemen pulled me from the car, they tried to have an ambulance take me but I fought them, I couldn't look away. Ciel wasn't moving, and he was bleeding so much.. And my parents.. They were already... already gone."

I fight the tears which threaten my eyes, digging my short nails into my palm as hard as I can instead.

"We were told it was a drunk driver who fell asleep at the wheel and barreled into our car.."

Claude is quiet for a moment, he must have realized it was my fault.

The entire accident was my fault.

Climbing to his feet, Claude takes a few steps towards me on the soggy grass before extending his arms and embracing me. His arms swoop over my shoulders, wrapping over my back as he pull me into him tightly.

Burying my face in his neck, It takes everything in me not to break down. My entire brain feels like mush and fuzz, my heart refuses to still as I slowly bring my arms up to wrap around his waist.

His clothes are soaked, I can feel his heart beating hard against my chest as he holds me tightly against him.

The rain begins to pick up, drops of icy cold water slide from my hair and down my neck. Bunching up Claude's jacket in my hands, I can't help but let out a quiet cry of sadness.

The tears in my eyes have dried up, refusing to fall now as I mourn for the loss of my parents, my little brothers happiness, and our childhood.

"I'm sorry.. I'm so sorry, Sebastian."

My hands clench tighter to the wet fabric of his jacket.

"It's not your fault." Claude whispers causing me to shake my head in disagreement.

Claude's arms slide up, placing his hands on my shoulders he pulls me away slightly before bending down to eye level.

"Sebastian, it's not your fault. It's not. Now tell me, please tell me it's not your fault. You have to believe that."

"It is. If I hadn't... If I hadn't made them stop.." My voice cracks slightly as I remember how I made them stop even though I knew I would be okay until we got home.

"It's not your fault, Sebastian! It was the other driver!"

I don't want to believe him, because I can't stop remembering how I begged them to stop the car.

I can't stop remembering the way Ciel cried himself to sleep every night for two years, or the way he would cry when Mothers Day or Fathers Day came around and the talk of school was nothing more than what they were doing with their mom or dad that day.

"Sebastian please.." Claude is almost pleading with me, his head dropping slightly as his eyebrows pull up.

The frown on his face, doesn't suite him. I can tell he's near tears, and it breaks my heart.

"You're right.." I whisper, the realization slapping me in the face full-force.

That drunk driver.. If he hadn't been drunk he wouldn't have hit us.. I remember now.. I remember my dad putting on his hazard lights, I remember that car hadn't been behind us before..

_'Why didn't he see us? How did he hit us? Why? Why did you take my parents from me?'_

Claude's grip on my shoulders tighten, snapping me from my trance.

His lips are on mine, warm against my own freezing ones.

My eyes slide closed as he straightens a little, causing me to have to raise my head to retain the contact.

I can feel my heart beat slow, my hands raise and hold his arms.

_'Somehow.. He just makes me... Feel better.. All the time..'_

Pulling away from me, Claude breaks the contact as he releases his grip on my shoulders, turning to my parents tombstones instead.

Taking a deep breath, he grabs my hand, giving it a slight squeeze as he exhales.

"Mr. and Mrs. Michaelis.. My name is Claude Faustus and I'm in love with your son Sebastian. It's nice to meet you both."

Biting my lower lip, I can't help but feel slightly embarrassed knowing he had told my parents something so serious.

_'Love? He loves me? What is love anyway? This intangible idea of extreme attraction.. Lust maybe? No... Love... It's something.. More..'_

Looking up at Claude, I can't help but smile. The pain of losing my parents would never fade, everyday for the rest of my life I will miss them. But with Claude beside me, it seems far more bearable.

Claude raises his hand to my face, smiling back at me before leaning down and kissing me again.

"I love you." Claude mummers as our lips break away from each other.

"I-I love you too." I smile back up at the taller boy.

* * *

My hands reluctantly drop from the warm vents as Claude parallel parks in-front of my apartment building. Turning the engine off, unlocks the doors, releasing me back into the freezing, wet city of Seattle.

Digging my hands into my pocket, I extract my keys before coming up beside Claude on the sidewalk.

Our hands intertwine instantly, almost as though they were magnetized.

I can hear his car beep a few times as he locks it with the remote.

"We just have to be quiet.. I'm sure everyone is sleeping." I tell him as we come up on the door to my apartment building.

Bending down, I enter in the password before hearing the _'beep'_ of approval.

Pulling the door open, Claude and I enter the marble entry way, wiping our muddied and wet shoes on the large mat before proceeding.

"Don't you guys have an elevator?" Claude questions as we march up the tan carpeted stairs.

"Don't you run every morning?" I respond as I round the curve to the second set of stairs.

"Yeah well, this is still pretty exhausting."

When we reach the fourth floor, Claude stops to catch his breath.

"I can't believe you do that everyday, you're so little."

A smile crosses my lips as I watch the much more built boy, hunched over and breathing heavily.

"I'm stronger than I look!"

Claude looks up at me, a grin on his lips before he finally stands up straight.

"I think I remember where to go, apartment _408 _right?"

"Ding, ding, ding! You win."

"What'd I win?"

Crossing my arms, I look up at the white ceiling, pretending to be in deep thought as we approach my apartment.

"A kiss?" I smile up at Claude who doesn't miss a beat. Pushing me against the yellow wall, his lips meet mine.

My heart feels like it's going to explode the second his lips touch mine.

_'I want to kiss you for forever.'_

Pulling away, Claude fakes a shiver before motioning to my apartment door.

"I feel like I'm getting hypothermia here, lets get inside first."

Grinning, I oblige. Jamming the key into the lock, I carefully unlock it and push the door open.

Claude and I quietly enter the apartment, after locking the front door we tip-toe back to my room where I give Claude a spare towel allowing him to shower.

After we've both had a nice warm shower, he pulls on a pair of my old gym shorts while I wear a loose T-shirt and boxers.

Stella lays on my computer chair, she barely glances at me as I finish changing. For some reason she wouldn't stop avoiding Claude, I couldn't help but find it a little adorable.

_'One day you'll warm up to him, like I did.'_

Claude slides under the covers of my bed while I cross the room, shutting off the light before crossing back over my room and practically diving under the covers.

_'He's in my bed. Oh crap he's in my bed. What do I do? What do I do?'_

I do my best to remain calm as my mind silently panics.

Aside from Ciel, I have never had another male in my bed.

_'What does this mean?! What if he... What if he wants to... Oh god.'_

My face heats up as I turn away from Claude who lays on his back.

_'And he's shirtless.. Oh fuck my life..'_

Claude and I lay in the darkness of my room. The clock on my desk reads half past ten telling me I at had accomplished not only coming home early, but I've also gotten into bed on time as well.

Claude's body heat seeps through the sheets, mingling with mine assuring me that I won't wake up shivering tonight.

_'It's actually sort of nice... to sleep beside somebody..'_

My lips curve upwards into a smile as I realize this. I couldn't help feeling like I finally had somebody outside of my family who cared about me.

"Why are you so far away?"

Claude turns onto his side, hanging his arm over my shoulder as he pulls me closer to him.

My pulse begins to race again as I feel his bare legs against mine. I could feel the hardness in between my legs, so I loop my arm underneath his, ensuring it wouldn't get anywhere near.

"I have a question..." I say, trying to distract both myself and him from the current situation.

"Yeah?" He asks as a yawn escapes his lips.

"Are you busy... on.. Halloween?"

Claude is silent for a moment, I can't help but worry that he does have plans.

_'Or maybe just doesn't want to spend Halloween with me...'_

"I'm not, why?"

"I was wondering.. you know, if you want to.. Would you want to go to Golden Garden's with me and some friends?"

_'Friends..'_

It felt so nice to say that considering I had gone for so long without any friends to speak of.

Any _real_ friends that is.

"Yeah, that sounds like a lot of fun."

_'He said yes!'_

"Awesome.. I'll tell Meyrin tomorrow then."

Closing my eyes, I can't help but feel excited. Everything seems to be looking up, and I can't help but hope it stays that way.

* * *

_Review and I will buy you all bagels! _

_Bagels and grape soda._

_Because yes._

_~Sebastian_


	24. Chapter 24

_Hello peoples!_

_Soo I was thinking, instead of just sporadically spitting out chapters like I have been, I may start updating every Saturday!_

_Does that sound okay? _

_Anywho! I wanted to thank you guys for reading this and reviewing it! I'm so glad you guys are enjoying it! _

_And I want to thank my lovely Bocchan for allowing me to spoil chapters for her by reading her the outline to get her opinion. _

_I HOPE YOU STILL GET FEELS, BOCCHAN! FEEEEELLLSSS!:3_

_Oh and by the way, this chapter is SUPER raw.. I wrote it whilst on the phone which I shouldn't have done because it came out all whacky but I'm going to try to fix the general errors. This chapter will be greatly improved when I do the re-write. ^.^_

* * *

Claude's hand fits perfectly in mine.

I give his hand a small squeeze as we walk down the cold city streets of Seattle. Any sound our walking makes is quickly drowned out by the sound of traffic and the conversations of those who pass us.

The morning air feels cold against my lightly covered body. But I knew Claude was probably just as cold. Since Claude didn't have any clothes at my house, I chose to loan him some from my pile of 'clothes that don't fit'.

In the end, he ended up wearing a pink button down with a dark blue vest and his own blue jeans because I didn't have any that would fit him.

Close to what he wears, I have on a blue button down, a light blue tie, my salmon colored cardigan and brown jeans.

_'Definitely not cold weather clothes.'_

A cold gust of wind swirls my hair and tie around. Those passing us pull their jackets closer and double wrap their scarves, Claude and I huddle closer together in a desperate attempt to share body heat.

"Saturday do you want to go out?" Claude suddenly asks as we cross the street.

"Sure, do you have Saturday off?"

"Yeah, Angelina gives me weekends off."

I was a little surprised to learn this, but I guess I shouldn't have been considering Aunt Angie probably didn't want to consume his weekends with work.

"What do you wanna do?" A small smile spreads over my lips as I imagine what sort of date we'll have.

"I definitely want to go get you a warmer jacket. But I was thinking we could take the train to China Town since you seem interested in all that anime crap. They have a store there that I think you'd like.. Have you ever been to Uwajimaya's?"

"Uwajimaya's? No but I've wanted to go! I've heard so much about it! Does it really have an entire bookstore?" I probably resemble an eager child as I look up at Claude.

"They do, it's a huge Asian grocery store complete with a food court, a bookstore and a 'around-the-house' type area. I thought you might like to go with me."

I jump up onto the curb, my excitement was overwhelming.

"Yes! Yes I want to go! I'm excited now! I can't wait!"

Claude laughs at me, his grasp tightens as he pulls me closer to him. Tilting my chin up, he places a light kiss on my lips.

"Good, I'll get you at ten so make sure you're ready."

I'm grinning ear to ear as we approach the courtyard with our hands still intertwined.

The students sprinkling the urban school grounds give us strange looks as we walk down the brick path towards the door. Whispers and giggles sound from random students, but Claude pays no mind to it.

Looking down at me, he smiles sincerely.

It was a little embarrassing to have so much attention on us, I had gotten used to us being in our own little world.

Claude releases my hand and holds the door open for me, ushering me inside.

His hand quickly meets mine again, almost like a magnet as he pulls me through the crowd of students towards our hallway.

"Are you going to dress up for Halloween?" I ask as we make it into the less crowded hallway which would take us to our classroom.

Claude shrugs, he didn't really seem like the type to dress in costume anyway.

"I don't think so, especially if we're going to be outside at the beach. It'll be really cold, you should bring a heavy jacket."

"Oh yeah.. I forgot, it'll probably be colder since we'll be by the water too."

"Claude!"

The male voice behind us sounds loudly, Claude spins around, releasing my hand in the process.

Turning I see a blonde boy a little taller than Ciel standing with a strange look on his face. The boy wears tight fitting jeans and a black band T-shirt, his short blonde hair curls slightly at the ends. Claude takes a side step away from me, he looks really nervous as he casts me a strange glance.

The boy gives me a strange look, seemingly sizing me up before doing the same to Claude.

"Where were you last night?" The boy asks as he approaches us, his eyes still wandering over Claude.

Claude is silent for a moment, he seems lost for words as he stares at the newcomer.

"I was over at Sebastian's house." Claude points at me causing the strange boy to give me another bizarre look.

"Why?" He questions.

I can see Claude's face redden a little bit, a few students glance at us strangely before ignoring the confusing situation and continuing on their way.

A sigh escapes from Claude's lips, taking a few steps forward he grabs the boy by the arm and leans in.

I can see his lips moving, but I can't hear what he's saying over the other loud students.

I couldn't help but feel self-conscious, I don't know who this boy is and the way he looks at me makes me uneasy.

The boy suddenly rips away from Claude, his mouth ajar as his eyes practically bulge from his skull.

"WHAT?! YOU'RE GAY?!"

My own eyes widen as I look to Claude who is now five shades darker than crimson. Giving me a sort of half smile, Claude turns back to the boy.

"Yeah, but don't tell mom or dad, I want to tell them myself."

_'Oh.. It's his brother?'_

I'm not quite sure how to feel at the moment. The confusion swirling inside me worsens as I now know that my boyfriend and ex-tormentor is still in the closet.

_'But it took me awhile to come out of the closet too.. so I can't really judge.'_

Extending my hand to the boy, I muster up all the confidence I can and introduce myself.

"Hi, my name is Sebastian, Claude's boyfriend."

My face blushes a little as I admit it out-loud.

_'Boyfriend...'_

The boy seems unsure, but he shakes my hand anyway.

"I'm Alois, Claude's brother. You're Ciel's brother aren't you?" He asks curiously.

"Yeah, Alois.. I've heard a lot about you from him."

An awkward silence follows, I can't help but shift uncomfortably as Alois looks from Claude's outfit to mine, a smirk forming on his lips.

Claude pulls awkwardly at his vest before turning to his brother.

"Okay well we better get going so we aren't late. Later bro."

"Okay.. Uh, I should go find Ciel anyway.. See you.. tonight." Alois waves before he turns and leaves, Claude's hand quickly finds mine again, he silently continues guiding me towards our math class.

I don't know what to say, having just witnessed him coming out to his little brother, there didn't seem to be anything I could say.

_'Am I a secret?'_

* * *

I pull apart my roll, I was hungry but I couldn't bring myself to eat any of it.

_'Old habits die hard I guess.'_

Grell, Bard, Meyrin and Finny sit around the table with me. They're arguing over what drinks to bring for the party and whether Call of Duty or Medal of Honor is better.

"Well Call of Duty just doesn't seem to know when to quit, they ran outta wars." Bard laughs loudly before taking a long gulp of his soda.

Grell nods in agreement causing Meyrin to sigh. Finny didn't appear to be paying attention to the conversation, seemingly enthralled by the miniature volcano he had created with some mashed potatoes and gravy.

I don't know how to add to the conversation without sounding like an idiot, so I remain quiet. Thoughts of last night slip into my mind as I recall Claude's reaction to the truth.

_'Oh god... Sebastian.'_

For a few moments in the cemetery, I had felt freedom. I didn't blame myself for what happened to our parents or Ciel. I was free whilst in Claude's arms.

But it didn't take long for the guilt to catch up to me, dragging me down like a ton of bricks as I stumble through quicksand.

_'I can't bring them back.'_

_'I wonder.. if Ciel blames me..'_

Ciel would never tell me, but I couldn't help wondering if he blamed me for our parents death.

_'Like I blame myself.'_

Grell's voice rings loudly, tearing me from my thoughts.

"So Claude's clothes today, did you guys like coordinate or something?"

"What?"

"Claude, he's dressed like you, you guys pretty much match!" All eyes turn on me as Grell's question hangs in the air.

"Well.. He spent the night." I mutter, a blush blooming on my cheeks.

The entire table erupts in cheers causing other students to stare questionably. Meyrin holds up her hand to me, expecting a high five which I give her.

Grell smirks slightly, leaning over the table he begins to question me. "So... How was it? Is he.. you know.. big?"

My blush deepens, I begin to quickly shake my head. This conversation is too much for me.

"He's small? Really? You wouldn't think so just by looking at him!" Meyrin giggles, Bard clears his throat and even Finny blushes.

"No, no, he's not small that's not what I meant!" I counter quickly without thinking, this conversation was beyond me. I had never openly talked about anything like this before.

_'Well.. Except when Aunt Angie gave me the birds and the bee's talk..'_

A shudder slides over me as I remember enduring that discussion, it had been so horribly awkward.

"Oh so _it is_ big?"

I shake my head frantically, overwhelmingly embarrassed.

"I didn't, I haven't... I don't know, we haven't.. done it."

I stare down at my lap, I wanted so desperately to just disappear.

"Awe, why not? Haven't you guys been dating for awhile?" Meyrin questions.

I stare at my plate of mushed and torn food, a war zone really.

"We have, but I just don't think we're really ready yet."

Grell smirks, leaning over the table again he questions me in a low voice.

"You're a virgin aren't you?"

I don't respond, choosing to continue staring at my messy plate instead.

_'Please god just let me disappear.'_

The entire table erupts again in a synchronized; "WHAT?!" Earning us more curious glances from surrounding tables.

My face reddens even more, I could feel myself shrinking back.

"Don't worry, it'll happen soon!"

Bard reaches over and pats a heavy hand on my back. I'm so outrageously embarrassed having just admitted to four people that I've never had sex before, but for some reason, god just won't grant me the power to disappear.

The bell suddenly rings, we all stand and head to the trashcans to throw our plates out.

Meyrin loops her arm in mine, smiling she waves off Bard and Finny who begin to worm their way into the sea of students.

"You shouldn't rush these things anyway. It'll happen when it happens." She smiles up at me causing me to look away sheepishly. I could see Grell's red hair bobbing within the crowd of student's before turning a corner to the hallways.

"I know.." I tell her as we walk arm-in-arm.

"I wonder.. if Claude.. wants to.."

I mumble to myself.

* * *

I watch the condensation slide down the white tile wall as the warm water slides over my shoulders and down my back.

I reeked of chlorine. Today had been the first day of water polo, and of course I wasn't very good at it.

Claude and I had waited until all the other students had left to take our shower, he was worried that somebody would steal my towel again leaving me to do a walk of shame to my locker again.

_'But now.. I'm just alone in the showers with Claude.'_

Thoughts of my conversation at lunch slide into my mind.

_'So.. is he... big?'_

I look over to my left, Claude faces away from me as he runs his hands through his wet hair. The muscles in his back flex as he moves his arms, I can feel my cock twitch just watching the warm water sliding over his naked body.

_'I wonder..'_

Leaning back, I try to catch a glimpse between Claude's legs.

But I can't see anything other than his perfectly sculpted back and ass.

_'He's so flawless everywhere.. Surely he must be pretty reasonably sized..'_

Embarassment sweeps over me again, my own thoughts are turning so raunchy.

_'Since when did I become such a raging pervert?'_

Claude suddenly turns around catching my eyes as he does so. I quickly turn to face the wall, my entire face glowing a hot red having just been caught.

I can hear Claude chuckling before his shower head turns off. I don't dare turn around even as Claude exits the shower.

I drop my head, pushing my hands against the wall in-front of me, I slam my fist into my thigh to calm the growing embarrassment.

_'What the hell is wrong with me?'_

With a sigh, I turn off my shower head. My feet smack against the wet tile as I step out onto the cement floor of the locker room. Grabbing my white towel off the rack, I wrap it tightly around my waist.

My chest felt tight, Claude had caught me gawking at his naked body. Surely I would never live this down.

Turning, I walk past the showers about to head to the lockers when somebody quickly darts out from around the corner.

Claude pushes me against the cold brick wall behind me, His mouth presses into mine. We're both wearing nothing but a towel as our lips melt together, Claude slides his arm around me, pulling my bare chest against his as he pushes his hips into mine.

His tongue slides between my lips, knocking at my teeth which so eagerly part, allowing him entry.

I'm both stunned and turned on by this impulsive act, I want more of him.

My hands grab at his back before sliding down to his hips, pulling them harder into mine as our hot tongues mingle together.

Claude's mouth feels warm against mine, he tastes sweet, overwhelming my senses as my heart races in my chest.

_'I've never done anything like this before.. What do I do?'_

I can feel Claude's dick hardening against my own, he presses it against me, his free hand sliding over my bare chest, down my hips and over my stomach.

"God.. Sebastian." Claude breathes.

_'I want this, I want him.'_

"EXCUSE ME!"

Claude rips away from me, both of our heads dart to the source of the noise only to see our Coach standing a few feet from us, arms crossed with a deep frown on his face.

"I will give you two one warning, should I ever catch you two engaging in such an explicit display of PDA on campus again, I will see to it that both of you are suspended. Do you understand me?"

I gulp as my head frantically nods.

"Yes sir."

My cheeks burn a bright red as a mischievous smile crosses my lips.

_'God that was hot..'_

"Good, now you both have five minutes to get dressed and go home. I'll be waiting for you."

* * *

My stomach hurts from laughing so hard as Claude and I stumble down the street, hand-in-hand.

"Oh my god he looked so mad!" Claude laughs as we stumble down the busy sidewalks of downtown.

"I'm so embarrassed! That was awful." I cry, my cheeks burning a brighter red as I wonder if he saw our obvious boners.

"It was funny, don't worry we won't get written up or anything."

A laugh escapes me, I'm so horribly embarrassed but I can't help laughing at the obscene position we were caught in.

"At least we were covered." I mumble, thinking back to how hard I was. As soon as I had heard my coaches voice, I had gone soft.

_'But did he see before that?'_

Claude grins at me, his face red from laughing so hard as we walk towards the cafe.

_'Claude did feel.. pretty big..'_

"Why did you do that anyway? Not that I didn't like it I just.. I'm confused."

A frown forms on my lips, Claude had attacked me like some sort of wild animal; It didn't seem like something he would do.

"You really wanna know?" He asks, giving my hand two light squeezes.

Nodding, I look towards traffic. The scene playing again in my head.

_'His mouth against mine, his hips pressed into me, his hands... wandering..'_

Claude lets out a short laugh. "It's because I saw you, you know.. staring at me.. and I thought it's what you wanted but I know you won't initiate it so I did."

I release his hand, bringing my hands up to hide my face as the embarrassment courses through me again.

Claude's hand drapes over my shoulders, pulling me into him as I frown then smile into my hands.

"God you're cute."

Looking through a crack in my fingers, Claude grins at me again.

_'This boy... I love this boy.'_

* * *

_To L.T who I'm sure is reading this.._

_Can I still have those bagels you threatened me with if I didn't update.. I love bagels.._

_:3_

_~Sebastian_


	25. Chapter 25

_Ah god this chapter is so long you guys! So long! Hope you enjoy! It took me 3 hours to outline and two hours to write! :3_

* * *

Saturday finally arrived after three boring days of school and work.

My excitement had been too much, causing each day to drag by as slowly as possible much to my dismay.

But today is my long awaited date with Claude.

Standing in my steamy bathroom, I extract my glass scale from it's hiding place behind the toilet.

I lay it on the tile floor of my bathroom, before tapping it with my foot to activate it.

When four zero's settle onto the digital screen, I step on doing my best to remain still as it calculates exactly how fat I am.

The scale thinks for a moment.

The longest moment of my life.

_'120.0lbs'_

Disappointment washes over me as I stare at the number. Last I checked I had been one hundred and ten pounds..

_'A ten pound gain...'_

Sighing, I step off the disappointing machine, placing it back into it's hiding place.

Fresh from the shower, all I have left to do is get dressed and wait for Claude to arrive for our date.

Grabbing my grey towel from the bar it hangs over, I wrap it around me and quickly exit the bathroom.

Closing the door to my room, I rush to my closet and pull out a blue V-neck and dark blue jeans.

Looking over my cardigans I decide to borrow a jacket from Ciel, knowing he had much warmer ones than I do.

After checking myself in the mirror, I head out to Ciel's room.

His music blares loudly, vibrating the door as I knock loudly.

The door opens a few inches, Ciel stands a little over a head shorter than myself, his blueish hair disheveled, wearing just a T-shirt and boxers.

_'His eyepatch..'_

I rarely see Ciel without his eyepatch, I can't help but be surprised upon seeing his naked eye. His dead eye is closed, an unsightly, thick, white scar runs from his eyebrow to the bottom of his eye socket. It takes me a moment to collect myself and recall why I knocked in the first place.

"Can I borrow a jacket?" I ask, knowing that although Ciel was shorter than myself, his would fit as they were almost always too big for him.

"Yeah hang on."

Ciel disappears into his room, his music still blaring full volume.

I press my wrists into my hips, nervous he would see my own scars no matter how faded they had become.

Ciel returns a few moments later holding out a black jacket. Taking it into my hands, I hold it up before realizing it's a band jacket.

"Oh Pierce the Veil." I smile at my little brother, he has always been into rock music, even as a child.

"Yeah, I know you like them too so..." A smile pulls at the corner of Ciel's mouth as I slide the jacket on and zip it up.

"Thanks, I appreciate it."

"No problemo, bro." Ciel closes his door, the sound of his music only slightly muffled by the action.

"Sebs, are you going out?" I look up to see my Aunt walking towards me, her red hair pulled back with clips, sporting a white ruffled top and black slacks.

"Uh-huh, remember? Claude and I have a date today."

"Oh that's right, I forgot. Well, be safe, have fun and call me if you need anything. Don't get arrested." She smiles at me, her teeth looking far too white against her red lipstick.

"Of course not."

My Aunt watches as I leave before knocking on Ciel's door requesting he turn his music down _'ever so slightly'_.

As I bounce down the stairs of our apartment, Claude texts me and let's me know he's out front.

I had yet to give him the code to the building, so he was forced to wait out front in the cold. It's not that I didn't trust him with the code, as I just never remembered to.

Finally reaching the bottom of the stairs, I grab the golden door handle only to be greeted by a smack of icy wind. A shiver overtakes my body as I pull the black sleeves down over my hands.

"No gloves, scarf or anything warmer than _that_?"

Claude steps out in-front of me wearing a black trench coat with a white scarf, his hands hugged by black mittens, he looks far warmer than me.

_'He looks.. really.. cute in that..'_

It was a little strange for me to see Claude in something other than his usual jacket, fingerless gloves, jeans, shirt combo.

But than again, I'm not too terribly adventurous in my wardrobe either.

I can't help feeling underdressed as I take in exactly how cold it really is outside.

_'I should really get me a coat like that.. Looks warm..'_

Claude extends his hand to me, snapping me out of my daze I step down the two little stairs to the sidewalk and take his hand.

"To the train station!" Claude announces dramatically.

"To Uwajimaya's!" I counter in an equally dramatic voice.

* * *

Staring out the train window, I watch the darkened tunnel walls pass by.

Claude sits beside me on the metal seat which have what is possibly the smallest cushion in all of existence.

I can see his reflection in the glass, the piercings in his ear shine against the bright lighting of the train, I can't help being curious as to what caused him to get so many.

_'I wonder.. if he's pierced anywhere... else..'_

The robotic announcement over the train's intercom pushes the perverted thought from my head.

"Now entering; International District China Town station. Doors to my left."

Claude and I stand, holding onto the railing as the train slowly comes to a stop. The tan doors slide open with a high pitched _'ding' _allowing Claude and I to exit.

We cross the cement platform to a long cement staircase.

_'My legs hurt just looking at that.'_

Considering I stand all day at work, climbing long staircases wasn't exactly my forte.

However this is far beyond worth it.

Claude and I climb the staircase in silence, I'm excited to see this bookstore he had told me about.

Once we reach the top of the stairs, Claude holds out his hand to me which I gladly accept. I love holding hands with Claude, I love having a point of contact in general.

Staring around in awe, I take in our surroundings building by building.

Two large glass buildings sit on my right completely out of place, to my left is an entire block of just one building with various shops.

Signs sit in the windows of the businesses, some are in English voicing that they're seeking to hire somebody, others are in Asian characters of unknown origin possibly just reading the same thing as the English sign.

Claude and I walk hand-in-hand down the sidewalk, busses, taxi's and cars pass by us, reminding us that it's nearly impossible to escape the sounds of traffic in Seattle.

_'Without going as far as Snoqualmie that is..'_

"This is so cool!" I exclaim as I look around at all the different types of architecture.

Claude smiles, giving my hand a light squeeze. "I'm glad, I figured you'd like it here."

Nodding, I see Uwajimaya's come into view. A large, 3-story, tan bricked building, it definitely appeared as big as Claude had described.

A cold wind slices through the air, freezing my already red nose.

I use my free hand to pull my jacket closer to my neck, I won't allow the coldness of this day to ruin the experience.

Claude and I cross the small street, the crosswalk already counting down to zero as we reach the other side.

Gripping the black, metal door handle, Claude holds the door open for me as the smell of food swiftly wafts itself into my nose.

"The food court." I mutter as Claude steps in behind me. We find ourselves surrounding by food stands. Ramen, Sweets, Crêpes, and burgers are offered from the various food bars. White tables with a few hungry customers fill the middle causing general traffic to walk around.

"This is so cool!" I exclaim as I follow Claude past all the food bars.

"The bookstore is just over here, did you wanna see the grocery area or just the bookstore?"

"I want to see it all, this is amazing! I wish I had known this was here!"

Claude laughs as we finally make it past the food stalls, crossing the hard flooring to the large wooden entrance of the bookstore.

"Haven't you lived in Seattle your entire life?"

"Yeah I just.. never really had a reason to venture out to China Town or anything."

The bookstore is surprisingly noisy. A two-level bookstore, bookcases filled with both manga, and general literature line the walls and middle area, as well as panels selling trinkets and action figures. A few signs above the bookcases dictate whether the books in that area are in English or Japanese, while everything else seems to be in English.

"Oh I can already tell we're going to be in here for a long time." Claude laughs as I immediately begin looking through the long aisle of manga.

"Sorry, I won't take too long!" I laugh as I pull a manga from the shelf.

* * *

An hour has passed since we've entered the bookstore. Scanning the movies I finally find what I've spent forever searching for.

"Hey, Claude look at this!"

I hold up an anime movie, Claude pulls a face before crossing his arms and smiling.

"Anime?"

"Yeah! I haven't been able to find this anywhere! It's such a good movie!"

I flip the DVD over, reading the summery on the back before beaming up at Claude who now has his back to me, digging through a bin of cell phone charms.

"Buy it then, we can watch it at my house if you want." Claude grabs something from the bin, hiding it in his hands as he turns to face me.

_'Claude's house? With his parents? And his brother?'_

The thought of meeting Claude's parents makes me a little nervous, my stomach does flip flops as I nod my head.

"Yeah that sounds great."

Looking down at the movie in my hand, excitement courses through me once more. I hug it against me before casting a glance to the short line at the register.

"You ready?" Claude questions.

"Yeah."

After Claude and I check out, we take back to the cold streets again. I clutch the small grey bag containing my DVD in my hand while my other hand intertwines with Claude's.

Today has been such a good day so far, I was finding myself really enjoying the time I spent with Claude. The way he smiled at the ridiculous things I say and the way he laughs at my strange actions.

_'Especially the way he brought me to China Town regardless of his low interest in this sort of stuff...'_

Claude stops suddenly, digging into the deep pocket of his coat he extracts a small trinket.

"Here, I got this for you." Claude thrusts the trinket at me which I take, curiosity swimming through me.

Upon closer inspection I can see it's a purple cell phone charm, a small grey cat figurine dangles from a string as well as a few stars and a small silver bell.

"I got one too, it's green."

"Thank you.. But you know you didn't have to do that.." I smile up at the taller boy who blushes, looking away sheepishly.

"Yeah well I wanted you to have something from me."

Looking up from the ground, he glances at the shop beside us.

"Hungry?" He questions suddenly, changing the subject as his brown eyes meet mine again.

I can't help but smile at my embarrassed boyfriend. Claude almost always acted so tough, but is really very sweet.

* * *

After lunch, we explored China Town for a few more hours before deciding the head back to Claude's house.

A short train ride back into the main part of downtown, and a bus to Claude's neighborhood took around forty five minutes since traffic in Seattle is essentially unescapable.

Claude holds my hand tightly as we walk uphill towards his street. Nervousness wells inside me causing my heart to pound wildly in my chest. I could tell Claude was nervous as well.

_'How will he introduce me? What will he say? Will they like me?'_

"Don't worry." Claude smiles down at me as we cross the quiet street. Houses line the road, beautiful houses that belonged in a magazine.

"I'm not worried.." I lie as I glance around at all the perfectly manicured lawns.

"Yes you are, you always get this special frown on your face when you're nervous."

My frown deepens, a blush spreading over my face.

"How do you know that?" I ask defensively as we walk up the stone walkway to a two-story modern looking house.

"I just know, Jeez."

"Are you sure they won't mind.. You know.. Me just coming over?"

Claude frowns, before meeting my gaze.

"My parents are really busy, they hardly notice when I'm even home. I doubt they'll care."

Claude digs in his pocket, the sound of key's rattling echo's under the porch as he finally digs his key out and unlocks the door.

Pushing the door open, Claude and I step inside. My heart pounds even harder, vibrating my ribs as I take in just how beautiful his house really is.

The floor is a dark wood, the walls painted an olive green. A staircase heading to the second level sits off to my left with framed photos along the wall. Directly in-front of me is a short hallway leading off to other portions of the house. I have only seen a small portion of the house and it had already managed to charm me.

"You're house is... beautiful." I half whisper, nervous that his parents or brother would randomly appear.

"Thanks, let me introduce you to my parents then we can go up to my room."

_'Claude's room? His bedroom? Where he sleeps?'_

Claude releases my hand as I follow him down the various hallways in this maze of a house.

I begin to worry that my stutter will return, the nervousness welling up inside me reaches it's peak. I want to run away, I want this feeling to dissipate but I know this has to happen eventually.

We reach the end of the long hallway, Claude raises his hand and knocks on the thick white door to my left.

There's a short silence, followed by a woman's voice who I presume is his mother.

"What is it?"

"It's me, Mom. Can I open the door?"

"Sure, honey."

Claude twists the silver handle, revealing an office. Directly in front I can see a large dark wood desk, a pretty woman with wavy black hair sits on a black computer chair. An enormous book open in front of her with a laptop and a yellow notepad beside it. She twirls a pen between her fingers as her brown eyes fall on us.

"Oh, Claude you didn't tell me you were bringing a friend over."

She sounds tired as she waves to me.

"Hi, I'm Veronica, Claude's mom. And that rude man back there is my husband Dave."

I look past Claude, finally seeing another desk outfitted with five separate monitors all going at once. A man with the same inky black hair as Claude in an olive green dress shirt sits at the desk with his back to us, his hands rapidly typing on the keyboard in front of him.

Raising my hand, I nervously wave back.

"H-Hi.. M-my name is S-Sebastian." A blush forms on my cheeks as I stutter out my hello.

"Dad?" Claude calls expectedly.

His dad grunts, never looking up from the monitors. I can't help but feel a little intimidated by his father, he didn't seem to terribly keen on company.

"Dad could you do me the glorious honor of looking at me please?" Claude sounds frustrated now, his dad finally spins his computer chair around, crossing his arms as he stares at us.

"Okay, I have something to tell you both."

Veronica looks up from her book, watching Claude curiously as he takes a deep breath, balling his hands into fists.

Exhaling, Claude intertwines his fingers with mine and looks to both of his parents.

"Mom, Dad, I'd like you two to meet my _boyfriend_, Sebastian."

My heart slams into my chest, I begin to shake causing Claude to squeeze my hand reassuringly. Looking down at me, he smiles.

His parents both stare at us wordlessly, their mouths hanging open as their eyes grow round.

"I just wanted to introduce you guys properly." Claude begins to fidget with his scarf, his face growing red.

His mom is the first to speak, clearing her throat before she does so.

"It's nice to meet you Sebastian.. As Claude's friend or boyfriend. It's still a pleasure."

"Boyfriend." Claude's dad laughs, a frown on his face.

Claude doesn't seem amused, turning to his dad he makes a retort.

"Yes, dad I'm gay. Sebastian is my boyfriend, I know this is probably hilarious for you."

His dad stares at him for a moment before shrugging.

"Hey sex is sex, good for you, son." Dave spins around to face his computers again.

"DAVE!" Veronica tosses her pen across the room nailing Dave in the back who laughs in response.

"Jeez woman take a joke!"

Dave stands, walking over to us he extends his hand to me.

"Gay or not he's still my son, you be good to him got it?" I shake the man's hand, his vice grip causing my hand to ache as his bloodshot blue eyes bore into mine.

"Yes, sir..." I whisper, a little afraid of his dad.

"You're a little shorty huh?"

"DAD! That's not funny!" Claude shouts, a blush still heating his face.

My own face burns from the remark, standing at 5'5" I was painfully aware of my short stature compared to other guys my age.

"Just givin' him a hard time. I'm only joking."

Claude lets out a groan, his dad finally releases my hand leaving a weak, pulsating pain.

"We're gonna go watch a movie in my room."

"No sex in my house!" His dad calls out, causing Veronica to yell his name again.

Shutting the door, Claude leads me away from the office and back towards the front of the house.

"Sorry about that. My dad's a little weird."

Claude smiles at me as we climb the staircase. I still felt nervous despite being away from that strange situation.

Upon reaching the top of the staircase, Claude guides me down another long hallway to the last door on the right. Opening the door he steps inside and begins removing his coat and scarf.

His room is enormous.

A royal blue painted room, rectangular with a vaulted ceiling. Windows line the wall in-front of me, the view hidden by closed blinds. To my left resides a large bed adorned with a black comforter and blue sheets. Band posters cover the walls, various metal bands, some I like and some I don't even know.

My heart begins to race as I continue to look around his room.

A cherry wood computer desk rests at the foot of his bed against the wall, a MacBook residing on-top of it as well as what appeared to be a sketch book and multiple pencils.

I take a few more steps into the room as I look to my right. A black leather couch rests against the wall in-front of the row of windows.

Across from it is a mounted flat screen, various cords running down it leading to an Xbox which sits on the floor surrounded messily by video games.

His closet door is shut, a small pile of clothes building in-front of it.

"Jeez, your room..." I trail off as I continue looking around.

"My parents.. They go a little overboard sometimes."

I shake my head, looking back to Claude who now wears a green T-shirt and blue jeans.

"Most kids in your situation wouldn't even be working.." It slips out before I can stop it, a blush crosses my face but Claude just laughs.

"I want to make my own money, gain some responsibility you know? Not leech off of them, especially since I'm almost eighteen."

"When's your birthday?" I ask curiously as Claude closes the door to his room.

"Two days before graduation, the third of May."

"Oh, I don't turn eighteen until the sixth of June."

Claude extends one gloved hand, pointing at the bag in my hand containing the DVD.

"Let's pop that in, afterwards I'll take you home if you want."

Smiling, I nod at the tall, inky haired boy before handing him the movie.

_'And to think, he's this composed after coming out to his parents.. I was a raging mess when I came out to my Aunt and Ciel..'_

Claude unwraps the DVD, popping it into his Xbox before grabbing a controller and looking at me.

"Sit, my couch doesn't bite or anything."

I shift uncomfortably before taking a seat in the middle of the couch.

My exhausted body immediately melts into the cushions which feel like clouds.

We had walked nearly the entire day, leaving my body a little sore and my muscles completely spent.

Claude takes a seat to the left of me, leaving the rest of the couch empty as he starts the movie.

Turning off his controller, he tosses it to the other side of the couch before sliding his hand into mine.

* * *

By the time the movie has ended, his room is dark aside from the soft glow of the TV.

The credits roll over the screen as a calming song plays in Japanese.

"That was actually pretty good." Claude turns to me and says.

"It's one of my favorites, I love it." My eyes meet his, drawn in immediately.

"When do you want to leave?" I ask, our eyes unmoving from each others.

"After."

"After what?" I ask, confused.

Claude squeezes my hand before releasing it completely.

"This."

He puts his hand on the back of the leather couch, his other hand pushing into the cushion.

His lips meet mine in the near darkness of his room.

I melt immediately, kissing Claude had quickly grown to become one of my favorite pastimes.

Claude pushes me onto my back, our lips never break contact as he hovers over me. Lowering his body he presses against me.

Slipping his arm under me, he arches me into him as his other hand slips under the back of my head, holding my lips against his as our tongue explore each others mouths.

His body feels hot against mine, hard and strong, powerful.

It feels perfect, I want to touch it, I want to feel him.

My hands slide over his back before gripping his t-shirt. My heart pounding into my chest, I have never been so turned on in my life.

Claude pushes his hips into mine again, grinding himself against me as his lips move from my mouth, grazing over my jaw bone and down my neck.

My entire body is electrified, alive with Claude's touch.

It leaves me wanting more.

Unzipping my jacket, he slides it off of me, his lips immediately meeting my collarbone as his hands pull eagerly as the collar of my shirt.

My dick is harder than a rock, pushing into Claude's thigh as his pushes into mine. All the blood in my body drives down into my cock as I feel his dick pushing into my thigh as well.

I can't help but grind back into Claude, pleasure coursing through my body as I do so.

He pulls my shirt up, sliding it over my head before tossing it across the room.

His lips return to mine, warmly pressing into me as his hands begin to wander.

"Sebastian.. I want you.. So bad.."

"I want you too." I gasp as his mouth moves to my chest. His tongue flicks at my nipples, his hand now roaming down my stomach, crossing over my jeans before reaching my dick.

He outlines my length through my jeans, the feel of his hand is overwhelming.

I can't hold it in, a moan slides from my lips which only fuels Claude further. His hand slides over my dick, giving it a squeeze through my restricting jeans.

A quiet moan sounds from my lips again at the feel of his hand on my throbbing dick.

Sitting up, he grabs my hand placing it on his own hardened girth.

"Agha god Sebastian, you have no idea what you do to me."

I squeeze his cock, surprised by the size of it instantly.

_'It's huge.. Dear god it's going to kill me. Has anybody ever been killed by a monster cock before? I'll be the first.'_

Claude's eyes squeeze shut as I thumb the tip of his dick through his jeans, his own hand still working over mine as I bite my lip in an attempt to hold back the moans.

Moving his hand from my hardness, he leans into me again, his hand sliding to the button of my jeans.

"Claude wait, wait."

He pauses, his eyes meeting mine.

I'm embarassed, but I know I have to tell him.

"I don't want to.. just yet.. I'm not ready.."

I turn my head away. It isn't so much that I wasn't ready as it is that I'm scared.

_'Not to mention, I've never seen a dick other than mine.. Porn has never graced my computer.. What if mine is weird or something?'_

His head drops slightly, he places a light kiss on my cheek before turning my head to meet his gaze.

"It's okay, I can wait."

A barrage of knocking causes both of us to jolt, my forehead knocking into Claude's sending a shooting pain through my skull.

"Owe!" We both cry as our hands cover our heads.

"Claude can I come in?" Alois calls from the other side of the door.

"No go away!"

"Too bad!"

Alois opens the door, his eyes growing wide as they settle on the two of us in our compromising position.

"Gross get a room." He spits at us.

"This is a room! My room! Get the hell out!" Claude sits up, his knees on either side of me as he stares angrily at the blond haired boy.

"Why? So you two can get it on? Gross. I just want your Xbox, Ciel wants to play Gears."

Claude stands, walking over to his door he lowers himself to Alois's eye level.

"Get the hell out of my room, are you blind? Clearly we're busy!" Claude slams his door on the boy who kicks at it in response.

My entire face is flushed red as I stand and begin collecting my clothes.

"Sorry about that." Claude rubs the back of his neck awkwardly before bending down beside his Xbox and extracting my movie.

"It's okay, just a little embarrassing." After sliding my clothes on, I accept my DVD from Claude who smiles at me.

"Ready to go?" He questions grabbing his car keys from the hook by his door.

"Yeah, I'm ready."

* * *

_Okay guys..._

_Review or they'll never have sex._

_XD_

_~Sebastian_


	26. Chapter 26

_Okay guys.. Here's my first surprise.._

_This chapter is in _**_Ciel's POV._**

_I hope you guys enjoy! And thank you for reviewing regardless of my 'no sex' threat at the end of the last chapter. xD_

_I love reading reviews. They make me happy. :3 They motivate me to write because I know there are people who actually want to read it, And I'm not just wasting my time._

_^.^_

* * *

The mirror is slightly foggy still. Condensation sliding down it's reflective surface. Grabbing a hand towel, I wipe the mirror off over my face uncaring of how my body looked.

My wet hair sticks close to my face, hiding my eye so I push it away.

I stare at my dead eye which I always keep closed. The white scar running from my eyebrow to the bottom of my eye socket is ugly. It's a reminder, one I can't escape, Permanently engraved on my body like some sort of sick memorial.

I open my dead eye slowly revealing a glass eye, clouded and clearly unusable.

The day of the accident, I had completely lost my eye, due to this I was give a fake eye to sit in it's place.

Bringing my hand up to my eye, I touch the warm, slippery sphere. I wanted to tear it out, let it shatter on the floor and remain content with a empty hole where my eye used to be.

Sighing, I close my dead eye and pick up my eyepatch from the bathroom counter. After tying it around my head, I wrap a towel around me and retreat back into my room to get dressed.

My room is the smallest one in the apartment. Band posters litter the walls, a full sized bed sits in the corner on my right, while my desk sits against the wall on the left. As it is currently, clothes lay strewn about my floor, having recently purchased a new video game, I seldom cleaned choosing to spend my idle time playing with Alois instead.

I grab a white V-neck from my closet, a pair of slim fitting jeans and a black zip-up hoodie. After dressing myself I head into the kitchen for a can of soda.

_'I wonder if Sebastian is here..'_

Upon entering the kitchen I discover my Aunt rooting through the cabinets, clearly searching for something.

"Hey Auntie. What'cha looking for?"

Her body jolts before her head snaps towards me, a surprised look on her face.

"Oh god Ciel you scared me. I'm looking for my tea. I can't find it."

Her arm dives back into the cabinet as she continues her desperate search.

_'Oh shit.. I think I used the last of that.'_

"Tea? This isn't the dragon pearl tea that was in the brown bag is it?"

"Yeah, it is. I know I have some but I don't know where it is. Have you seen it?"

She closes the cabinet and studies me, I can't help but shift uncomfortably under her gaze.

"Ciel?"

Looking up at her I smile.

"Well.. Uh, I think I used the last of it.."

Her lips pull down slightly, clearly annoyed now.

I do feel bad, but I wasn't aware that drinking the tea was a no-no, otherwise I wouldn't have.

"Well than could you go out and get me more?"

"Yeah.. Is Sebastian here?"

My Aunt nods, folding her arms over her ruffled red blouse as she does so.

"Why?

Looking down towards my feet, I smile.

"I'm going to ask him to come with me.. Ever since he started dating Claude I don't really get to see him."

"Oh, honey you know how it is.. And it doesn't mean Sebastian doesn't care about you. But it's a good thing he's finally socializing and making friends."

I know that she's right, and I'm aware of how selfish I'm being wanting Sebastian to hang out with me instead of being with Claude all the time.

_'But he's my only brother, and I miss spending time with him..'_

"I am glad he has friends now. But I'm gonna ask him to hang out with me today if he doesn't have plans with Claude already."

Smiling sympathetically, my Aunt walks towards me before bending down and wrapping her arms around me in a hug.

"Sebastian is lucky to have a little brother like you." She whispers before releasing me.

My face reddens slightly, I mumble something incoherent before heading off to Sebastian's room.

When I reach the end of the hall, I stand in-front of Sebastian's bedroom for a moment listening to his merciless typing and the curses he mutters a little too loudly to not be heard.

_'He must be playing a game.'_

Raising my hand, I knock loudly on his door just incase he has the volume on his headphones up loudly.

"Come in!" Sebastian calls out loudly.

Opening his door, I'm greeted by a perfectly clean room. His bed made, his floor clear of clutter, even his desk clean of trash.

Sebastian sits on his computer chair in his boxers and a white undershirt wearing his glasses, his enormous, lime green headset is now slid around his neck as he looks up at me from his paused game.

_'Sebastian never wears his glasses anymore... It's a little nostalgic.'_

"Hey, Ciel. What's going on?"

"You wanna go shopping with me? I have to go buy some tea for Auntie but I don't wanna go alone."

Sebastian thinks for a moment, his eyes sliding over to his monitor then back to me. I frown, pulling the best puppy dog eyes I can muster.

"Ah god Ciel! You know I hate when you do that!" Sebastian groans, dropping his head back.

"Only 'cause it works!" I laugh as Sebastian pulls his headphones off.

"Yeah, I'll go. Just let me get dressed super quick."

"Okay! You can borrow my hoodie! It's clean."

I pull Sebastian's door shut, running off excitedly to my room; I retrieve the hoodie before running back to Sebastian's room.

"I'm leaving it on your doorknob!" I yell over the sound of him rummaging for clothes to wear.

* * *

Rain soaks the hood of my jacket as Sebastian and I walk down the sidewalk. A cold wind pushes itself into my jacket and down my back causing me to shiver.

The busy city streets are filled with strange characters. Bums sit on the ground against a few businesses asking for handouts, tourists snap photos of skyscrapers, and the locals quickly rush off to their intended destination.

Sebastian remains locked on his phone for the entire walk, I can see Claude's name flash across the screen. Sebastian occasionally smiles at his phone, or perhaps what it says.

A sigh escapes me materializing itself in the form of a small cloud of white air.

_'I wanted to Sebastian to come so I could spend time with him.. Not so he'd be glued to his stupid phone.'_

Pulling my hand from my warm pocket, I poke Sebastian in the side causing him to yelp loudly.

Turning to me he frowns.

"What'd you do that for?"

"Because! You keep staring at your phone.. You know that's rude right?"

Sebastian blushes slightly, locking his phone he slides it back into his pocket and smiles at me.

"There, now it's just you and me."

I can't help but smile at this, it had been so long since I was able to have a real conversation with Sebastian. Even still, I can't think of what to say now.

Sebastian and I stop at a crosswalk in-front of the mall, we stand in silence watching as various cars, busses and taxi's pass by before Sebastian begins to speak.

"So how is school going for you?"

The crosswalk turns white, Sebastian and I follow the group around us to the other side of the road.

"It's good, I finished my drawing for art class and I made some new friends. I met a guy from Romania. Isn't that crazy?"

Sebastian smiles down at me, his inky black hair ruffling slightly in the wind.

"Really? That's awesome! Is he nice? And when do I get to see your drawing?"

Shrugging, I find myself growing a little embarrassed at Sebastian's enthusiasm.

"I'll show you tonight. It's in my room. And yeah he's nice, he sits with me in art. How is school for you?"

Sebastian frowns slightly, looking towards the sky as we approach the mall entry.

"School is good." Is all he says, his eyes remaining locked on the grey clouds.

_'School is not good.. Is it, Sebastian...?'_

I have always known about the bullying Sebastian faced, but I also know he dislikes talking about it to me.. He dislikes telling me anything that may upset me somehow.

_'Because he feels like he has to protect me.'_

In all honesty, I'm extremely lucky to have a brother like Sebastian.

But at the same time I can't help being sad that he won't confide in me the same as I will for him.

_'But I know why.. I know he's afraid of what he'd say. How he blames himself.'_

I'm aware that Sebastian blames himself for the accident, I'm aware and yet I don't know what to say to him to help him understand that nobody blames him, but himself.

_'It wasn't his fault.'_

Sebastian grabs the heavy door handle, using his body weight he pulls the door open allowing us both entry.

The mall is mostly quiet, three level's of a beautifully designed mall is apparently not enough if most all the shops inside are high-scale and expensive.

Sebastian is smiling as he tells me about his new video game. We're both insane video game freaks, however I was beginning to grow concerned that Sebastian is far more addicted than I am.

"I can't wait for the Oculus rift!" He exclaims as we climb up the escalator.

"The Oculus?" I question, glancing over at his excited expression. Sebastian looked about ready to burst with excitement.

"Yeah! It's like a gaming headset for PC it's so cool!"

Laughing, I step onto the shiny tile of the second level. "Bet it costs an arm and a leg!" I joke as we walk into the small tea shop.

The smell of tea is overwhelming but calming at the same time. The store has dark wooden floors and counters, the lights slightly dim as all their tea sits on display in glass containers with labels and spoons.

"What sort of tea does she want?"

He questions as we begin to poke around. The employee's pay us little mind as they begin filling up new glass jars of tea, leaving Sebastian and I to hunt alone.

"She wants Dragon Pearl. But I wanna get some tea too."

"Oh? And what sort of tea would you like, My Lord?" Sebastian laughs, his eyebrow perked curiously.

"Shut up! I just want some tea."

"But you'll have to tell me what sort of tea you prefer, Master." Sebastian mocks in a horrible British accent. This time I laugh, Sebastian had previously forced me through all two seasons of his favorite show_ 'Kuroshitsuji' _so the reference is well understood.

"Don't laugh at me for this. I want some Earl Grey." Sebastian bursts out laughing drawing the attention of the employees who eye us curiously.

"Stop! It's not funny! It's really good have you ever tried it?" I ask Sebastian who is doubled over making every attempt to stifle his laughs.

"Of course I have, what sort of Phantomhive butler would I be otherwise?"

I slap him lightly on the back, glaring at him as he continues to mock me.

"Michaelis butler, Michaelis. God what sort of butler are you? Can't even remember your master's last name."

Sebastian stands up straight, wiping the tears from his eyes as he attempts to compose himself.

"Terribly sorry, I will not forget again." His lips crack into a smile, his eyes baring the weight of laughter which he refuses to release again.

I smile as I sigh, turning to the glass containers I begin searching for the dragon pearl tea my Aunt had requested. Sebastian wanders off to the other side of the store, scanning the jars as well.

When I finally find the tea, I quickly spoon a bunch into a brown bag before turning around to find Sebastian.

I see Sebastian standing at the counter, he holds a brown bag in his hand as the employee hands him a receipt.

He turns, when he see's me staring he simply smiles at me holding up the bag in his hands.

"Earl Grey for my Young Master." He laughs causing an embarrassed heat to rush to my cheeks.

"You didn't have to buy that you know.. I would've bought it."

Sebastian smiles, rubbing his neck as he approaches me.

"Yeah but I wanted to get it for you. I'm your brother after all!"

Shaking my head, I curl the top of the bag I hold closed and walk it to the counter.

* * *

Sebastian and I exit the coffee shop with warm coffee's in our cold hands.

The rain still hasn't let up as we walk down the street sipping our hot drinks.

Sebastian had opted for a peppermint mocha coffee while I had gone for a cappuccino.

"You know coffee stunts your growth."

I laugh as Sebastian takes a hesitant sip from his cup. His name '_Sebastian'_ is scribbled messily across a small box on the cup in black Sharpee.

My own name is scribbled on my own cup, however they had spelled it wrong regardless of me spelling it out for them.

"Surprising you'd say that considering you're even shorter than me!" He retorts as we approach a crosswalk.

"Yeah well I'm fourteen so at least I still have time to grow! You're running outta time!"

Sebastian frowns looking down at me he lifts one hand and pulls my hood off, exposing me to the cold rain that drenches the city.

"Hey!" I cry, pulling my hood back over my head.

I keep my eyes trained dead-ahead as we walk back towards our apartment. I disliked making eye contact with other's passing by us, I especially hated seeing their eyes stare at the black patch covering my dead one.

_'I'm not a zoo animal..'_

I think to myself as we turn a corner. A young couple walks towards us on the same sidewalk with a young child between them.

Looking to me, the child raises their hand and points at me.

"Mom look it's a pirate!"

I force a smile at the child then the parents who appear completely mortified.

"I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!" The mom quickly apologizes but I quickly shake my head at her.

"It's okay, she doesn't know any better."

Even as I say it, I can't deny the words stung a little. The dad holds the little girl closer, her head turning to stare at me as we pass.

I can feel Sebastian's eyes on me as we approach our apartment.

"Are you okay?" He questions, his eyes never leaving me even though I refuse to meet his gaze.

"Yeah, it's okay." I smile up at Sebastian, wanting so badly to believe my own words.

The frown on Sebastian's face doesn't waver, reaching out he wraps his arm around me, pulling me into him.

_'It'll be okay.. I guess.. As long as Sebby is here.. Yeah.. I just need my brother..'_

A real smile finds it's place on my lips as I glance up at Sebastian.

"Wanna play video games with me tonight?" I ask, hoping he would say yes and not that he was busy with Claude.

Sebastian removes his hand, bringing it to his chin instead he pretends to look deep in thought.

"Let's see... I don't know... Uhmm.."

"Sebby!"

Sebastian looks down at me and smiles before placing his hand on-top of my head.

"Yeah, we'll play tonight. I'm never too busy for you."

* * *

_Sooo Ciel's POV. Interesting or no? Anywho, review because yes.. :3_

_~Sebastian_


	27. Chapter 27

_I really hope you guys enjoy this.. It took me so long to write! Hahah the longest chapter so far! =DD Anywho... _

_It's nearly 2am now and I just finished this so I'm going to have a celebratory cigarette then go to bed.._

_By the way, this is not the last chapter.. Incase what I said above is confusing.. Lol.. There is more.. XD_

* * *

"Are you and Claude going to dress up?" Meyrin's eyes linger on me as she awaits my response.

It's lunch time at school, I sit in the same spot at the same table surrounded by the same four people I had began to eat lunch with several days ago.

The nervousness of the party tonight has my stomach twisting in knots. I have never attended a real party before, I don't know what to do or how to act.

_'Act like I always do. Why not?'_

But what if that's not how it goes at parties? What if it's crazy and the police get involved?

My stomach churns again, my constant social anxiety is getting to be a little ridiculous.

"N-no.. Claude really isn't the costume type.. And it'll probably be cold anyway." I reply.

"Man you guys are all no fun you know? Don't tell me I'll be the only one dressed up!" Grell cries, holding the back of his hand against his forehead dramatically.

"Come on, It's going to be colder than satan's dick you can't seriously expect everybody to wear some flimsy costumes!" Laughing, Meyrin props her elbows on the table, holding her face in her hands as she watches Grell's pose.

Setting his fork down, Bard finishes chewing really quick before adding his own two cents.

"Well I don't know about you guys but I'm excited. I'm bringing some party supplies.. If you know what I mean."

"What really? What'cha bringing?!" Grell asks excitedly before pushing away his now finished plate of food.

"Just wait and see, man. It's going to be awesome."

Grell groans before the bell sounds signaling the end of our lunch period.

After dumping my half eaten plate of food in the trash can, I walk with Meyrin towards my next class.

"So is everything good between you and Claude?" She half yells over the roar of other students.

"Yeah, it is. But-" I trail off, realizing I was about to mention what happened at Claude's house.

A blush rises to my face as I recall the events, the places where he touched me still burn.

"But what?" She asks suspiciously.

My eyes dart to the ground as the embarrassment floods my pale cheeks.

_'Can I talk to Mey about this? I've wanted to tell somebody.. To get another opinion.. But can I tell her? it's not like I've known her for very long.. Would it be weird of me to tell her something so personal?'_

"Sebastian?"

I look up at Meyrin as we turn down a quieter hallway.

_'I can tell her... right?'_

I cut in-front of her, stopping her in her tracks as I pull open the door to an empty, darkened Science classroom.

"Sebastian what are you doing?"

"Can we talk in here? I don't really want to tell you out in the hallway."

"You don't care about being late to class?" She questions as she follows me into the classroom. Shutting the door behind us, we step away from the small glass window in the door so a passing teacher won't see us.

"I do but this is sorta important.. I think.."

I wasn't too sure to be honest. I didn't want to get detention for being late, but I needed to talk to somebody.. And it's not like I could tell Ciel.. Not really.

A hot blush rises to my face again as I begin to wonder what I should say,

Or _how_ to say it.

Setting her backpack down on an empty, black lab table, Meyrin leans against the black-top counter behind us.

"Well.." I start, now staring at my shoes.

"Take your time."

_'Yeah.. I can tell her.'_

Looking up at Meyrin, I explain what happened at Claude's house. She listens quietly, nodding her head, appearing to be deeply thinking about everything I'm telling her.

My anxiety peaks, unrelenting as I pour the personal details, I have never spoken to anybody about such embarrassing things, is it always so hard?

"I just don't know if I'm ready.." I finish, my eyes rising to meet hers.

Meyrin remains quiet for a moment before crossing her arms.

"Do you love him?"

"Y-yeah.."

"Do you feel comfortable with him? I mean.. to the extent that you think you could.. uhm, go further.. with him..?"

Meyrin's cheeks tinge red as she says this. The final bell sounds loudly signaling that we're now late to class.

"I think so. I mean.. I love him and I think.. if I were to.. with anybody.. I'd want it to be him."

Grabbing my arm, the embarrassment floods into my body, rushing through my veins causing my entire face to blush a dark crimson. This conversation is so beyond me, it's beyond anything I've ever really thought about before.

Sex had never been on my mind, not as a priority at least.

I'm not even entirely sure what to do.

"Than.. Sebastian I think you have your answer.. If you're comfortable with him, and you trust him.. Then.. when the time is right it'll just happen.. You'll be scared and that could make you think you aren't ready, but if you want to then do what you think is right, you know?"

I nod at her, gripping my arm tighter as her words sink in. Everything she's saying makes sense to me.

"Yeah I know.. I just guess I'm not really used to this stuff. But.. Thank you for giving me advice. I don't think I could talk to anybody else about this."

"Of course.. I'm a girl, I'm good at this shit." Pushing away from the counter, she points a finger at me.

"Anyway, you know you can always text me if you're worried right? I didn't give you my number just so you could give me your answer on the party. Text me anytime." Meyrin smiles at me, grabbing her backpack she loops it over her shoulder before checking the time on her phone.

"Okay."

"I've got to get to class now. I'll see you tonight though."

Meyrin and I exit the classroom, I wave to her as we part ways. Now all I had left to do was to get lectured by my next teacher for being tardy.

* * *

Gym class had been another round of Water Polo which I was still hopeless at. Claude of course excelled, it seemed that anything athletic was really his niche.

Pulling my shirt over my head, I glance at Claude who has already finished getting dressed and is now viciously rubbing his wet hair with his towel.

I straighten out my shirt before closing my locker, snapping the small combination lock into place afterwards. Pulling my backpack over my shoulders, I walk over to Claude who now holds his towel in his hands as he pulls his own backpack on.

"You ready?" He questions with a slight smile playing on his lips.

"Yeah.. I'm just not looking forward to going outside with wet hair."

Claude suddenly pulls his towel over my head and begins forcefully rubbing through my wet hair in a vicious attempt to dry it.

"Hey! Stop, ow, stop!" I laugh, pulling at his arms. When Claude removes the towel he begins to laugh, pointing at my head as he does so.

"What? Stop laughing!" I cry as I pull my fingers through the mess he had created out of my hair. After I get it all laying flat, I cross my arms and do my best to glare at the taller boy.

"Sorry, it's just.. Your hair looked so crazy. I wish I had a photo of that. It could've been my background."

"No way, I wouldn't have let you take a picture anyway."

"Psh, whose to say you could'a stopped me?"

"Everyday I ask myself why I'm dating such a jerk." I smile up at Claude who snorts in response.

"Because I'm fucking sexy that's why." He says sarcastically.

"Is that so?" Claude and I walk over to the dirty towel hamper, dropping our towel's onto the small pile before heading out of the locker room.

"Well in my defense, you were the one complaining about having wet hair so at least it's _less _wet now."

"Whatever." I smile as we bound down the staircase.

A few students linger in the hallways, some talk about the parties they're attending, others complain about having to work.

Claude slips his hand into mine, our fingers fitting perfectly between each others as we head towards the exit.

I'm aware of the eyes that follow us from curious students, the whispering and pointing. But for today, for right now, I'm not worried about it.

As long as I have Claude beside me, it's ok.

* * *

The walk home was long and cold as the temperatures continued to drop.

The cafe is closing early tonight in light of the holidays. My Aunt has a party to go to around seven, while Ciel has somewhere to be at around seven thirty.

Tying my apron over my head, I glance to Claude who is already heading to the front. A sigh escapes my lips as I watch him leave. My mind has been spinning all day with thoughts of what happened at Claude's house.

_'He probably wants too. I wonder how long he's willing to wait for me? It's not like he should really have to wait.. I mean.. I love him and I trust him. That should be enough right?'_

I know I can't rush this, and it's probably not doing any good to dwell on it like this.

_'But I can't stop thinking about it.'_

After fitting my apron to myself, I head to the main dining area to assist Claude.

Fake cobwebs hang from every corner with plastic spiders. Small pumpkins line the top of the pastry case, while small Halloween themed gel stickers stick to the glass of the pastry case.

Ciel and I had helped my Aunt set this up early this morning before school. It had taken us about an hour to completely decorate to my Aunt's satisfaction.

_'But it does look more... festive I guess.'_

A line of people stands at the register as Claude types in orders, accepts money and provides change. I waste no time slipping on small latex gloves and extracting various pastries from the case.

Claude passes me sly smiles in-between customers causing my face to heat up. I don't believe he's aware of just how distracting he really is for me.

"Seb, I need two pumpkin muffins and a peanut butter cookie."

"For here or to go?" I ask, watching as he counts the change for the customer.

"For here."

Sliding the glass case open, I extract each item one-by-one, handing them Claude as I do so who sets it on a napkin for the customer.

As I hand Claude the cookie, our hands brush momentarily causing my heart to skip a beat.

_'I hold hands with him all the time.. Why did that make me feel so weird?'_

Probably because I've spent most of my day wondering if I'm ready to have sex with him.

_'I NEED TO STOP THINKING ABOUT THAT AT WORK THIS IS SO INAPPROPRIATE STOP!'_

Claude must have noticed my strange expression, his own face heats up in response as he looks away with a smile pulling at his lips.

"You guys are so cute. Are you together?" Both of our heads snap to the elderly customer who smiles warmly at us.

Claude turns to me, smiling, he raises one eyebrow.

"Yes m'am, you're very perceptive." Claude turns back to the customer using his best 'professional' voice as he speaks to her.

"You guys make a cute couple. Keep up the good work." The women smiles again at both of us before dropping a five dollar bill into our glass tip jar causing both Claude and I to quickly thank her.

"Not a problem, It's refreshing to see young love in my old age!"

The women walks away, taking a seat by the window on the other side of the dining area. Another women sits across from her at the table, happily accepting the muffin she slides over to her.

Claude begins to laugh while my own face remains a brilliant red. Is our relationship really so obvious even to strangers?

It's not like that should really be a problem to be honest.. I mean, we are together after-all.

_'Why does this bother me so much?'_

I continue pulling various pastries from the case as I ponder what my issue is with our exclusivity.

Claude takes little notice, throwing himself into his work as he plays up his charm with each of the female customers.

_'Maybe.. Because I'm so used to be unreadable.. To nobody knowing what I'm thinking or doing. Having a complete stranger point out where my love lies.. I think that's what bothers me..'_

_'Why? Are you embarrassed to love Claude?'_

Another part of me questions.

_'Of course not.. I'm just not used to this.. It's weird.. I always thought of myself as book with a lock but no key.. And then Claude comes along.. My key.'_

Wow that was so lame. I shake my head, willing the silly thought away as I hand Claude a slice of chocolate cake with small gravestones on-top.

Glancing at the clock, I note a few hours remaining until the cafe would close.

_'And then... the party..'_

* * *

Hours pass until Claude and I finally lock the cafe door, flipping the 'open' sign over to read 'closed'.

Claude stretches his arms high above his head, groaning before tilting his head and smiling at me.

Suddenly the door to the kitchen bursts open, my Aunt appears wearing a close fitting red dress, her short, red hair straightened while her make-up is played up a few notches more than usual.

"Hey guys! Good job today! I know we were a little short staffed!."

"Of course, it wasn't a problem." Claude tells her as he unties his apron.

"Are you guys going out tonight?" She turns to me, putting her hands on her hips.

"Yeah, theres a party we're going to." My Aunt's face immediately lights up, a wide grin spreading across her face.

"That's awesome, where is it and whose going?"

"Uhm it's a Golden Gardens, just some friends from school." I answer, casting a glance at Claude who just watches the entire conversation.

"No drugs right? And no drinking?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Well remember what I've taught you. Don't use drugs and-" My Aunt trails off, looking to Claude.

"And if you drink, do not drive. Call a taxi, it's only about twenty dollars to get from Golden Gardens to here in a cab."

Claude nods at my Aunt who bares a serious expression as she studies him.

"Of course, but we won't be drinking even if their is alcohol."

My Aunt's face softens, crossing her arm she glances to the clock.

"Okay good, well I need to get going. The bakers cleaned up the kitchen so if you could just clean out here that'd be great. Don't forget to lock up before you leave and set the alarm."

"Yes of course." I nod.

"Okay, well you guys have fun. Call me if there's an emergency. Keep your cell phones on, I told Ciel to call you guys if something happened."

"Okay, can do."

My Aunt smiles at both Claude and I before disappearing into the kitchen again. Claude and I exchange smiles at being left alone in the almost dead silence of the empty bakery.

"You can go ahead and leave. I'll clean up, it won't take long."

"No, I'll help. I can't ditch out now!"

I shake my head as I walk towards the kitchen. Claude follows me, pulling his apron over his head he carries it in his hands.

"You still have to go home and get your car, by the time you get back here I'll be done and then we can just go."

"But then you have to stay here alone." Claude hangs his apron on the hook as I walk towards the backdoor, stopping short of it and grabbing the cleaning bucket from the closet instead.

Turning back to Claude, I shrug my shoulders at him.

"It's okay, I'll be fine. You go get ready and I'll text you when I'm finished but it shouldn't take me more than about forty five minutes."

"Fine, fine. But lock the back door too, you know.. Incase some crackhead gets a bad idea."

My cheeks flush red after he says this.

_'He's worried about me..'_

I couldn't deny how good this made me feel. Having somebody care about me like that was a good feeling and I want to hang onto this feeling.

"Okay, don't worry I will."

Claude smiles, passing me, he reaches into the closet extracting his backpack and slipping it over his shoulders before turning to me.

"Hey."

"Hey what?" I ask as he approaches me, a devious look in his eyes.

"I love you."

Claude presses his lips against mine. Pushing me gently, he backs me up to the wall.

His lips open slightly, signaling me to open my own. His tongue slides into my mouth, his hands resting on my hips as he softly massages my tongue with his own.

My heart begins to beat rapidly, my legs become shaky as my body screams out for more.

_'I want him.. I want all of him.'_

Claude slides one of his hands over my hips and down to my butt. Squeezing gently, he kisses me harder before pulling away and smiling at me.

"Be careful, and call me when you're done."

A little disoriented, I nod at the inky haired boy who smiles even wider at what is surely, a dopey expression on my face.

Claude releases me, slipping out through the backdoor allowing it to slam shut behind him. The near silence of the cafe only causes me to regret telling Claude to leave. Suddenly I wanted him here with me, I wanted him to never leave and remain beside me forever.

_'Just this once, can't I be selfish?'_

I carry the moderately heavy bucket back to the front of the cafe. Dropping it on a table, I extract a wash cloth and bleach before beginning the closing procedures.

I wipe every table free of crumbs, throwing away the occasional muffin cup or napkin as I go. After wiping off a table, I sit the chairs atop it, upside down so that the seat of the chair rests on the table while the back hangs down towards the ground.

As I go through and clean, my thoughts relentlessly slip back to Claude. The warmth of his hands on me is overwhelming, the taste of his mouth against mine or the way my blood begins to rush, my heart begins to pound and my mind begins to scream for more.

All of this, jumbled together, Claude is irresistible, my body demands him, my mind desires him.

_'So what does this mean for me?'_

I wonder as I hoist a chair onto the table.

_'I want him.. But.. I told him I wasn't ready.. So what do I do... now?'_

Now finished with the tables, I move to the counter and begin wiping it off as well as the glass case where we keep the pastries.

_'Maybe I should just tell him?'_

Heat rises to my face at this thought, I wipe the glass harder in response.

_'How would I even say that? Hey Claude! I know I wasn't ready a day or whatever ago but I thought about it and I think I'm good to go!'_

A sigh escapes me as I stop wiping the glass, choosing to lean my forehead against my arm instead.

_'What do I do?'_

Once I finish all the cleaning, I place the cleaning bucket back in the closet then grab my backpack. I send Claude a text to let him know I'm finished, almost immediately he responds telling me he's on his way.

I can't help but smile, staring at his name on my screen before locking my phone.

_'I'll just tell him when.. the time is right..' _

* * *

The engine on Claude's car silences with a turn of the key. Claude leans back in his seat, smiling at me before pushing his car door open causing a rush of cold wind to sweep inside.

My nervousness causes my stomach to feel sick, even my throat felt like it was closing up.

Closing my car door, I cross my arms in a futile attempt to save body heat as I cross around to the front of the car.

The icy wind slices right through me as if laughing at my attempts to keep warm.

Claude extends his arm, looking at me as he remains bundled in his winter jacket.

Accepting his hand, I can't help but notice how cold his gloves are compared to his fingers.

_'I wish he'd take those gloves off..'_

When Claude picked me up, he gave me his trench coat to wear knowing full well I don't own anything warmer than my cardigans.

_'Which is ridiculous considering I live in Seattle.'_

However, I simply hadn't gotten around to shopping for new jackets. It was never a really high priority of mine, usually I would borrow Ciel's.

_'Except he's probably tired of that by now.'_

Claude and I walk down the small sidewalk, towards the sandy beach. Numerous bonfires can be seen going up and down the shore, various groups of teenagers and college age students surround their fires, fighting to keep warm on such a cold holiday night.

Stepping off the concrete sidewalk, we walk over the sand looking for our own group through the various bonfires.

The sound of the waves sliding on shore is relaxing, it has been such a long time since I last came to the beach.

_'It's never warm enough to swim here or anything..'_

"Sebastian!"

A few yards down the beach I can see Grell jumping up and down while waving his hand in the air. An enormous bonfire beside him with a few people sitting around it.

_'Finny, Meyrin, and Bard for sure.'_

Raising our free hands, Claude and I wave back as we cross towards them.

Upon reaching our group, we take a seat on an empty log in-front of the massive fire. I scoot close to Claude, appreciative of the warmth the fire provided, but enjoying not only his body heat, but his overall presence.

"O-okay, Claude meet Meyrin, Finny, Bard and Gre-..." I trail off on Grell's name, suddenly remembering that they already know each other.

Claude smiles at everyone, raising his hand he gives a short wave.

_'I probably embarrassed him..'_

Looking around at everyone, I noticed Grell is the only one in costume while everyone else dresses in layers, huddling close in an attempt to keep warm.

"What are you supposed to be?" I ask, looking to Grell who wears a very thin two piece costume complete with a pink stripped tail and cat ears.

Smiling, he bends down close to my face causing me to back into Claude a bit.

"What am I? Oh my did you really just ask me that?" Grell smiles at me, revealing a set of fake sharpened teeth before turning to the rest of the group.

"Did you all hear that? Little Alice here wishes to know who I am!"

"Oh knock it off, Grell." Meyrin turns to me, a smile playing on her lips.

"Grell is the cheshire cat, he's been doing that ever since we got here. Just ignore him."

Both Claude and I can't help but laugh while Grell groans, flicking Meyrin off as he does so.

"You guys are no fun, seriously I need better friends."

Grell plops down on an empty log to my left, pretending to find something terribly interesting about his fake tail as he does so.

"Are you guys thirsty?" Finny asks, looking from Claude to me.

Claude shakes his head, politely declining while I can't help but nod.

Finny reaches behind him, extracting a light colored can, he extends it towards me.

_'Beer?'_

Claude gently pushes the beer away, looking to Finny he frowns.

"Sebastian doesn't drink, do you have anything without alcohol?"

Finny blushes slightly before putting the beer behind him again, this time pulling out a Coke.

"Sorry, I didn't realize."

Claude hands the Coke to me, which I happily accept.

"Damn boy, you don't let your man drink? Aren't you the least bit curious about what he's like when he's got a few drinks in 'em?" Bard laughs loudly as he opens a can of beer.

"Not really.. No.." Claude smiles at me before turning back to Bard.

"Besides, I sorta promised his Aunt we wouldn't drink."

"Awe come on Bard. It's cute." Meyrin adds defensively causing a smile to spread across my lips.

_'Cute... Cute... Cute?'_

I open my Coke before slipping my hand into Claude's again.

After taking a sip, I look up to notice everyone staring at us as though we're some sort of exhibit.

"Uh.. Can I.. Help you guys?"

"Not really." Finny smiles.

"Why are you guys staring at us?"

"'Cause we've never actually seen you guys together." Bard laughs.

Claude slips his arm around me, pulling me closer before smiling down at me. Surely he is enjoying this.

"You guys are too cute, you make a good couple." Meyrin smiles at us, I can't help but smile back at her. Meyrin is ridiculously pleasant, I have no idea how I have gone four years of high school without meeting her.

_'But I could say the same thing about Claude.. It is a huge school. I don't know..'_

* * *

A few hours pass bringing us into the wee hours of the night.

Claude and I lay side-by-side on the cold sand of the beach. The fire has grown slightly dimmer, causing Bard and Grell to go off to collect more sticks and wood for kindling.

The stars above us are beautiful, small, flickering, white dots against a dark sky.

_'This is so nice..'_

Claude's hand encases my own, as he turns to face me I can't help but do the same.

"This has been fun, I'm glad you invited me."

I smile at Claude, loving the way the flickering of the fire lights up his face.

"I'm glad too.. I'm glad we came, I'm glad you're here."

Claude leans in, kissing me.

His lips are far warmer than the cold wind which swirls around us.

Our tongues meet, their warmth easily shared.

I can feel Claude's hand sliding over my stomach, his fingers pull up on my shirt exposing a small portion of my stomach to the icy air.

Suddenly I notice a bright flash of light. Cracking an eye open I see Grell and Bard standing over us. Grell holds his cell phone out before flipping it over and showing me the screen.

It's a picture of Claude and I making out.

"You guys need to get a room." Bard laughs causing me to grow red.

"Those guys need to get a room too, Jeez." Grell points behind him, to the bonfire. Meyrin and Finny sit side-by-side, their lips locked together.

"Guess it's just you and me." Grell points to Bard before wrapping his arm through his. "Ah yeah no thanks, not into guys." Bard pulls away from Grell, heading back towards the fire instead.

"You wanna go back to my house?" My heart pounds wildly in my chest as I look into Claude's brown eyes, asking him to my empty apartment.

"Yeah, let's go."

Claude and I stand up, wiping the sand off of us before linking our hands together again.

"We're going to get out of here. Thank's for inviting us." I call out to everyone causing Meyrin and Finny to finally unhook themselves from each other.

Meyrin grins from ear to ear, her eyes slightly blood shot, It's clear she's had a little too much to drink.

"And just where are YOU guys going?" She asks suspiciously.

"Uhm.. To my house?" I reply.

"OHH GET IT BOY! GET SOMMMEE!" Meyrin cries drunkenly, causing me to blush even harder.

"Oh god. Let's go." Claude and I do our best to ignore the animal calls from our drunken friends and walk to his car in perfect silence.

* * *

After locking the front door and kicking off our shoes, Claude's lips immediately find my own.

Pushing me hard against the door, he pulls at my borrowed coat, letting it fall to the ground in a heap.

My heart beats erratically in my chest, my stomach doing jumping jacks. I can feel all the blood in my body rushing south at the feel of Claude touching me again.

_'I want him. I want all of him.'_

His hands roam over my chest, sliding over my hips and back to my butt again as he slips his tongue into my mouth.

"Ah Sebas-.." Claude whispers, pressing his lips harder against mine.

We move from the door to the wall in the hallway. I can hear a picture fall off the wall from the force of me slamming into it but I don't care.

Claude pushes himself against me, grinding his hips against mine. His lips move from my mouth to my jawline as his hands begin to pull at my shirt.

Pulling back, Claude quickly pulls my shirt over my head, tossing it to the ground before moving his lips to my neck.

"My room." I gasp causing Claude to rip me from the wall. Fiddling with my door handle, he finally gets it open.

After slipping inside my darkened room, Claude wastes no time pushing me against my closed bedroom door.

His gloved hands slide over my bare chest while his teeth nip and bite at my neck. His breath feels warm on my neck causing me to shiver with delight.

Claude's mouth moves further down, his tongue flicking at my hardened nipples.

"Claude wait."

"I know, don't worry. I told you I'd wait until you were ready." He mummers as he continues to lick at my pink buds.

"No... No.. Claude.. I want you.. I just.. I want you to take off your gloves first."

Claude stops, standing up straight, he looks into my eyes.

"You're ready?"

A hot blush rises to my cheeks as I look into his eyes, nodding.

Claude begins fiddling with his gloves, ripping them off and letting them fall to the floor before bending down.

Claude picks me up as though I weigh nothing. He carries me over to the bed before dropping me onto it.

Within an instant Claude is on-top of me. He rips his shirt off before slipping his arm under me.

"Are you sure?" He asks hesitantly.

"Yes, I'm sure."

Claude's lips crash against mine. His tongue finding it's way inside my mouth as one of his bare hands roams over my chest before finally sliding down to the waistline of my jeans.

Nervousness overwhelms me, I have never done anything like this before. What if I mess up?

_'Oh god he's going to see me.. naked..'_

Claude's fingers fiddle with the button on my jeans. I bite my lip, sliding my hands over his back, finally feeling every muscular bump on his smooth skin.

I can feel the button my jeans pop before he slides my zipper down. Sitting up straight, Claude pulls my jeans off leaving me in just my boxers.

I'm embarrassed, I'm scared, but I want this. I want him.

Before Claude can lean down again, I pull at the button on his jeans before unzipping them. Taking the hint, Claude pulls his jeans off, letting them drop to the floor before placing both knees on either side of me again.

"I love you."

He whispers.

I could cry, I'm happy. I'm happy it's going to be Claude to do this, if it had to be anybody, I'm glad it'll be him.

Claude leans into me, his bare chest against mine as he bites and licks at my ear. My back arches involuntarily at the pleasure that courses through me, I can feel Claude smile.

I suddenly feel his hand on my stomach, sliding down to the waist line of my boxers. His fingers graze over it, trailing from one side of my hips to the next.

I can't deny this is unbearable, this teasing of his.

His lips move from my ear, kissing down my neck, only stopping to land a soft bite which only causes more pleasure to course through me.

Claude's fingers continue to graze my skin, I want to scream at him to just touch me already.

To give me this pleasure I so desperately seek from him and only him.

Sliding his fingers over the waistline, he wraps a firm hand around my hardened dick, giving it a light squeeze.

The pleasure that courses through me is immeasurable. I've never felt anything like this, like another person touching you.

_'This feels so good..'_

A small moan escapes my lips causing Claude to grab on of my hands, bringing it to his own hardened length.

My body quivers and shakes as he slips his hand into my boxers, his bare hands wrapping over my cock he begins to finger my tip with his thumb.

_'This is so embarrassing!'_

"Just do what I'm doing." Claude whispers, pressing his lips against mine.

I slip my hand into his boxers, wrapping my hand around his enormous length, I slide my hand up and down it, squeezing gently as I do so.

Claude is the next one to moan, his moan is soft. His eyebrows pull together as he begins to slide his hand faster up and down my shaft, causing a tidal wave of pleasure to surge through me.

"Oh ah god, Sebastian. Ah." Claude begins biting down my neck again as I jerk off his throbbing cock.

Sliding my hand towards the tip, I begin to finger his slit before discovering something odd.

"What's this?" I gasp between ragged breaths.

"A ring, a piercing." He continues biting down my neck, moving to my chest again.

"That's really hot." I can't stop the words from coming out, but at the current moment I don't even care.

Claude pulls away from me, grabbing my boxers with both hands, he slides them off before pulling his own boxers down.

This is when I first lay eyes on the it.

His cock is huge, it's almost terrifying to look at because I know there's no way in hell that it can fit inside me.

But the ring that hangs gingerly on the end is so horribly enticing. I can't help but lick my lips at the thought of tasting him.

Claude lowers his head, wrapping one hand around my cock, he presses his lips against the tip before allowing it to fill his mouth.

My head knocks back instantly, my body begins to quivers as I feel his tongue swirling around the tip and down the length.

"Ahh nnhh aaah!" I bite my hand, trying to hold back the moans which claw their way from between my lips.

"Claude, god, Claude."

I can't find words to explain how magnificent this feels. Claude's hot mouth covering my hardened cock, it's the epitome of pleasure.

Claude's free hand digs into my thigh, holding it tightly as he takes all of me in his mouth at once.

A warm feeling slides over my body, a tidal wave of pleasure swoops in as he sucks on me harder and faster.

"Ah Claude, I'm going to, Ahhnh I'm coming. Claude!"

I try pushing at his head, but Claude refuses to let go, his tongue still working around my cock as I release into him, gasping and shaking as I do so.

Slowly, Claude slides his lips over my dick until it's free from his mouth.

I watch him swallow all of me through half lidded eyes before making my own move.

Sitting up, I take a deep breath before grabbing Claude's girth within my hands, sliding it into my mouth.

It takes all my focus to keep my mouth open wide enough to suck on his length.

_'He really is huge.' _

I slide my tongue over the tip, carefully toying with the ring before slipping him completely into my mouth again.

"Ah Sebastian, ahhn holy fuck. Ahh."

Claude's moans cause the blood to rush back into my cock, I look up to see his eyes squeezed tightly shut, his eyebrows pulled together as his mouth hangs open slightly.

"I want you.. Uhhhggh Sebastian.." Claude's hands find their place on both sides of my rib cage, forcefully he pulls me away from his cock, turning me around instead.

"On your knees." I do as he says, propping myself up on my knees while Claude positions himself behind me.

One of his hands rests on my back, I can feel his length nudging at my entrance.

Pain strikes like lightening throughout my body as Claude attempts to push himself inside me, his length far too wide for my virgin hole.

"Relax, Seb." He whispers, leaning over me.

"I am, You're too big."

"No, you're just not ready yet. Hang on."

Claude's chest pushes into my back, I can feel something far smaller pushing at my entrance before find it's way inside.

Gripping my sheets tightly between my hands, a moan escapes me.

"Claude!" I whimper as he pushes a second finger inside, slowly stretching me out.

"It's okay."

His fingers thrust into me, pushing my face into my pillow I attempt to mask the moans which escape me. I have never felt anything like this.

I can feel Claude slide his fingers out, he pulls away from me before I can feel his cock pushing at my entrance again.

Gripping my hip tightly, Claude slides himself into me, his size causing me to gasp as pain tinges my vision.

"Ah, Claude, Ahhnn it hurts."

"It's okay, relax. It'll be okay." Claude mummers as his size finally fills me completely.

"Are you ready?" He asks.

"Yeah.. Yeah."

Claude begins to thrust into me, slowly at first before thrusting faster. Leaning over me his hand slides around my dick again, bringing it back to life as he begins to jerk me off.

Immense pleasure courses through me as Claude's dick hits the spot over and over.

"You feel so good. Ugh ah.. So.. ahh na tight."

"Ah don't say AHH things like that."

I grip my sheets tighter, the pleasure coursing through me as Claude thrusts into me while sliding his hand up and down my dick is immeasurable.

My entire body feels hot with his touch, I want more of it. I want to experience Claude for forever.

"Ahhh Nnnn Sebastian I, god, I love you. I do."

Squeezing my eyes shut, I can feel the wave of pleasure roll through me again.

"I love you, too." I moan in-between breaths.

My cock twitches as Claude's hand pleasures it relentlessly. The force of his dick sliding in and out of me rocks my hips, causing my bed to squeak and groan under the strange actions.

"Oh Claude, I'm going to... I'm going to..."

"Wait for me."

Claude's thrusts become faster, his hips rocking into me hard as he moans loudly.

"Okay, Sebastian. Ahh now... Now.."

The wave of pleasure rolls through me, I can feel myself releasing into Claude's hand and my bed as he continues to thrust into me but slower now.

I can feel his own warmth filling me up as he slowly stops thrusting, leaning over me instead.

"I love you, Sebastian." He whispers, kissing my spine.

"I love you too, Claude." I whisper back, wiping the sweat from my face on my sheets.

Sliding out of me, Claude collapses on the bed beside me, his chest heaving up and down the way it normally does after he runs a few laps in gym class.

Turning to my side, I lay down beside him trying to catch my own breath as I watch my lover.

Claude slides his arm out, pulling me into him before grabbing my sheet and pulling that over us as well.

"You know..." Claude starts.

"Hmm?"

"You're my first..."

I'm a little surprised to hear this, it's not that I was under the impression Claude slept around or anything, it's just that I didn't imagine he was a virgin as well..

"You're mine too.." I admit quietly.

"I'm glad.. I'm glad it was you." He whispers.

"I'm glad too, I love you."

Soft snores emanating from Claude are my response causing a small smile to form on my lips.

As happy as I am, I'm utterly exhausted.

Closing my eyes, the smile never fades from my lips as I take pleasure in the warmth gathered from cuddling up with Claude.

_'Certainly... Having Claude beside me... This is all I need.'_

* * *

_La la la la REVIEW! XD _

_~Sebastian_


	28. Chapter 28

_Sorry it took me forever to update! I was so busy with work. Gah! But I did outline chapter 29 partially already so hopefully it doesn't take me as long to put it out! I may be taking on two jobs so that'll really tire me out. But this story is nearing it's end sooooo I just have to pop out a few more chapters! =D_

_By the way, do you guys prefer super long chapters? Or short/average size ones like this? Let me know! _

* * *

I awaken to Claude's hand on my shoulder roughly gripping it as he shakes me.

"Sebastian!" I crack my eyes open, the sun shines in through the cracks in my blinds, illuminating my room.

Rolling over, I meet Claude's gaze through half lidded eyes.

"W-wha? What's wrong?" I ask half asleep.

"What are these?" Claude asks.

"What's what?" I ask with a yawn.

"This!"

Claude grabs my wrist, his thumb fingering the pink scars which mar my skin.

Suddenly wide awake, I yank my arm back; hiding my scars as I sit up.

"It's nothing." I lie. Claude grabs my other arm, his eyes sweeping over the puffy scars before I pull my arm back.

"Stop!"

"I've never seen these before!"

"It's nothing!" I lie again.

"Don't say that! Why would you do this?"

Claude's eyes appear glassy, I can't help but notice how visibly upset he is by this.

Sliding off my bed, Claude stands and retrieves his boxers from the floor.

"It's not because of you. It's not like that." The lies just keep falling from my mouth, I can't stop them.

Sliding his boxers on, Claude crosses his arms over his bare chest as he stares at me.

"Then what are they from?"

"It's nothing really, please just stop."

A frustrated groan escapes Claude, uncrossing his arms, he begins to collect all his clothes off the floor before turning to me again.

Before he can say anything, my eyes catch sight of a black ink tattoo on the back of his hand.

"W-what... What is that?" I point to the tattoo which he then hides beneath the clothes in his hand.

"Claude!" I cry, though he ignores me.

"I'll tell you once you tell me what your scars are from! Sebastian that isn't ok!"

"I... know.." Embarrassment floods my body, grabbing my arm I stare at the floor slightly ashamed by having my secret revealed.

"Then why do you do it?" He asks. I can't think of an answer, how do you explain something like that to somebody? Without them having experienced it themselves, it's nearly impossible to explain it without sounding insane.

Sliding off my bed, I slide my own boxers on while refusing to meet Claude's gaze.

"Sebs..." Claude's now gloved hand grabs my arm, forcefully pulling me into a hug.

"I just.. don't want to see you hurting anymore." He whispers as he holds me tightly.

"I'm fine, Claude... Really.. They're old."

_'Lie again..'_

Pulling away, Claude's eyes drop down to my arms which hang by my side.

"Will you tell me?"

_'What would I tell him? How would I word it? Would he leave me because of it? Would he think I'm unstable or crazy..?_'

Nodding slowly, my eyes slide up to meet Claude's.

Lowering ourselves, we sit on the floor of my room. I pull my knees up to my chest, crossing my arms over my knees, I press my forehead against my arms not wanting him to see my face as I talk.

My voice is shaky as I talk, I'm not comfortable divulging this information at all. I've never told anybody before, why would I? They'd probably try to stop me, and then what? How would I cope? What would I do?

"It started a few years ago.. I had no friends, and the kids at school weren't very nice to me.. I was bullied a lot. I didn't know what to do anymore.. I just.. I don't know how to explain it.. But one day I just.. knew.. That I would feel better.. If I.."

Trailing off, I stare at the hem of my boxers, focusing on small details in the stitching.

"How did you hide it for so long?"

"Cardigans, long sleeves.. It's usually chilly here so nobody really questioned my clothing choices."

"Where are they?"

Lifting my head, I see Claude's eyes searching my room.

"Where's what?"

"The knife, whatever you're using."

My heart pounds hard in my chest, swallowing nervously I raise my hand to point at my computer desk.

"Uhm, In my desk... drawer.. under the spiral.."

Claude turns, crawling on his knee's he gets to my desk and opens the top drawer.

Lifting the spiral, he extracts a small gray box containing roughly twelve single edged razor blades.

"I'm taking these."

My eyes drop back to the floor, Claude crawls back over to me, nodding.

"I love you, Sebastian.. I don't want you to do this. It's not okay."

On the inside, my mind is screaming. My first impulse is to throw a tantrum much like a child. I wanted to scream, kick, I wanted to rip the box from his hands and hide it.

_'Don't take them..'_

I understand why Claude wants them, I know it hurts him. I wish I didn't do this, I wish he didn't have to see my scars and learn my shameful secret.

Even though I don't want to hurt him by continuing, another part of me whispers that even though he takes my razors, I can easily purchase more.

"What about you?" I question.

"What about me?" He replies, hiding the small box of blades in his hand.

"Your tattoo. What is that?"

This time, Claude looks away. His eyes dropping to the floor before moving to the back of his hand.

"I used to be involved in a gang.. I left a few months ago.. This tattoo is just a mark from that."

Nodding, I extend my hand to him.

"Can I see?"

Removing his glove, Claude places his now naked hand in mine.

My eyes sweep over the ink embedded in Claude's skin. The tattoo is a circle with a strange design on the inside and around the edges. My thumb rubs over the smooth skin, I half expected the skin to be raised from the ink.

"I'm getting it removed as soon as I can.. But for now I have to hide it."

"It's okay.."

Releasing Claude's hand, I can't help but sigh at the secrets we've just divulged.

I was aware of Claude's gang background because of Grell, but I wasn't aware his ties were deep enough that he'd get a tattoo for it.

Looking up at the clock on my desk, I notice the numbers flashing eleven in the morning.

_'Wait.. Today is.. Tuesday..'_

"Oh crap, Claude! Crap!"

Jumping to my feet, I rush to my closet.

"What?!" Claude exclaims alarmed as he climbs to his feet.

"We're late for school!"

"Oh fuck!"

"SEBASTIAN EDWARD MICHAELIS!"

My door rips open, slamming against the wall, revealing my Aunt.

Her eyes grow round as she looks from Claude to I, we're surely a strange sight, standing in just our boxers.

Claude's face immediately turns red, I can't help but swallow nervously knowing what is probably coming.

"Why aren't you guys at school?! It's Tuesday!"

"We, We overslept!" I reach into my closet, pulling out my green button down.

"Get dressed, go, now! And Claude please get some clothes on or something!"

Blushing harder, Claude slides his shirt on before struggling to slide his jeans on.

"Text me when you leave, and you guys better run! No wasting time! Now hurry!"

Shutting my door, I can hear my Aunt walk down the hall to her bedroom.

Claude slowly turns to face me, his face a dark crimson, his eyes round.

I can't help but laugh at the look on his face, although I'm undeniably embarrassed as well.

"She just... saw me.. saw us.." Claude babbles.

"It's okay, it's okay. Uhm, she'll probably just lecture me later. Wow this is embarrassing."

I pull my clothes on quickly, a green button down with my favorite salmon colored cardigan and brown pants.

"She saw me in my boxers. She knows, Sebastian! She knows!"

"She knows what?" I ask, tying my shoes.

"That we.. we.. you know!"

Claude's face heats up again, crossing his arms he looks away.

"Oh god you're right. she knows.. Oh I'm never going to hear the end of this.."

* * *

The memory of last night lingers in my mind. His hand on my dick as he thrusts into me.

_'I was his first, and he was mine...'_

His lips on my throat, on my dick.

_'I've never felt anything like that..'_

I can't help but lick my lips at the thought of last night. It was the most amazing experience I've ever had, and I'm so glad it was with Claude.

I'm torn from my thoughts as a piece of bread nails me in the cheek.

The entire table laughs, I can feel the heat in my face as I notice everyone is staring at me.

"Were you thinking something dirty? You're all red!"

Grell laughs. Pulling my shoulders together, I stare down at my full plate of food, untouched by my hands.

"No, I wasn't."

_'Yes, yes I was.'_

"Oh speaking of dirty! What happened with you and Claude after you guys left?"

A collective "Ohhh!" Is heard from the entire table.

"Do tell." Meyrin purrs, leaning forward.

Shaking my head, I look away. I couldn't help being embarrassed by this conversation, last night was my first time, of course I don't really want to talk about it just yet.

"Nothing."

"We don't need to hear about it! Sheesh you guys act like you never get any action! Particularly you, Mey! After a night of sucking face with little Finny you'd think you'd be less pervy!"

"Oh shut up. I'm just curious!" Meyrin defends. "Besides, they're adorable."

My blush deepens, all eyes are on me. As much as I want to tell somebody about what happened, eventually, I don't want to tell everybody, especially not with them staring at me.

"Leave him alone guys, he'll tell us eventually." Finny speaks up.

The entire table shifts to stare at Finny who pushes away his now empty plate.

"Holy crap you finally spoke." Grell laughs, slamming his hand on the table.

Finny's cheeks flush a slight pink. "I spoke last night, I'm not mute."

Looking to me, a corner of Finny's mouth turns up.

"You guys should come out with us again sometime, It was fun."

"He spoke TWICE! I repeat, Finnian spoke TWICE! Sound the alarm! This must be the apocalypse." Grell exclaims dramatically, drawing attention from neighboring tables.

"God Grell shut up! You're embarrassing him!" Meyrin shouts, wrapping her arm around Finny.

"Jeez I'm just fucking with him, get a sense of humor, Mey!"

Mey shoots Grell a glare in return before turning to me.

"Yeah you guys should come out to the movies with us or something. We're all planning to go to the arcade this weekend, wanna come?"

"I'll.. ask Claude.." A small smile crosses my lips as I look around the table.

A few months ago, I'd be sitting in the bathroom hiding from the food the cafeteria contained. I'd be alone, friendless as always and hopelessly miserable.

I never would've thought this possible, I never would have imagined that I'd make friends, sit with them at lunch or even order food for myself.

_'I'm.. not as depressed as before either.. I was so relentlessly bullied.. I still am but... It's somehow easier now that I have friends.. I know they'll back me up always.. I can't help being more content with life now..'_

The bell rings, lunch is finally over.

Rising from our table, we toss our plates into the trash can. Just as I'm about to turn away, I notice Ash walk up.

"Oh if it isn't the freaks and that one hot chick that could do so much better."

"Shut up and go away, Ash." Mey snaps at the taller jock.

"Hey, watch your fucking attitude, skank. Bet you're fucking every single one of these guys except for that faggot." Ash points to me, Mey's cheeks burn bright red, her eyes aflame with rage.

"Go away." Bard steps in front of Mey, crossing his arms defensively.

"Ah no need to get so feisty." Ash turns to me, pounding his fist into his palm, he stares dead into my eyes.

"Come on guys." Ash and his friends, turn and walk away, laughing loudly.

I can't help but feel nervous by Ash's last action but I ignore it, turning to Mey instead.

"Are you okay?

"I'm fine! I just hate that guy! He's such a jerk, I wish he'd disappear!"

Finny slips his arm over Mey's shoulder, pulling her close he whispers something into her ear.

Whatever Finny told her, it appeared to calm her down as she nods, before smiling at Finny.

I had never realized that Ash targeted them as well. I hadn't realized they were bullied at all.

But just what did Ash do to cause Mey to hate him that much?

* * *

Reaching into the box, I pull out two chocolate sticks. The cold air of the freezer causes me to shiver, with each breath a small white puff displays, further proving just how cold this cooler is.

_'Well.. It is thirty two degrees in here...'_

I've collected everything I came in here for, yet I'm comforted by the near silence, and the cold.

_'Finally alone..'_

My mind slides to thoughts of last night. I can't stop myself from thinking about it, every second intrigued me.

_'Not to mention.. turned me on beyond belief.'_

Holding the orange and two chocolate sticks in my hands, I press my forehead against the cold metal of the shelves.

I can see Claude's body, the smooth skin, the muscles that lie beneath.

_'He's perfect.'_

Thoughts of when we'll do it again wind into my perverted mental images. As nervous as I was, I couldn't wait to do it again.

To do something he only does with me.

My thoughts slip away from that night, moving to this morning, Claude's discovery of my scars and my own discovery of his tattoo.

_'We were both hiding so much from each other.'_

Claude's tattoo seems like a scar of his own. Something he's ashamed of, he did without thinking properly.

_'Of course it's not the same thing, but it sort of feels like it.'_

The freezer door beeps as it's opened, before I can turn around, I feel Claude's muscular arms wind around me. He feels so warm compared to me, though I've also been standing in the cooler for roughly ten minutes.

"Hey, Sebs." I turn to face Claude, our lips meet instantly. His lips feel warm against mine, our lips part as he holds me close. His tongue slides over mine, exploring it as he's done many times before.

My heart pounds in my chest, my blood rushing I can feel my body heating up. Everything about Claude stirred me up, he causes my mind to go fuzzy logic to go out the window. My entire body screams for him, I want him so desperately it almost hurts, but another part of me knows better.

_'If he keeps this up... I'll..'_

Pushing him away, I can't help but blush as I smile at Claude.

"We shouldn't do this at work."

"It's not like we're going to fuck or anything." Claude frowns at me, clearly annoyed that I broke our kiss.

"I know but what if my Aunt or Ciel walks in? Or one of the other bakers?"

"Fine, but come on. You've been in here forever and I need your help."

Claude turns, pushing on the cold, metal door.

"With what?" I question, following Claude out of the cooler.

"A bunch of orders just came in, I can't finish them by myself! Not fast enough at least."

I can't help but smile, a slight laugh escaping me as I follow Claude to the wooden prep table where various tickets lay strewn across the table.

At work, before being Claude's boyfriend, I'm still his trainer.

_'And I intend to be one hell of a trainer, for him at least.'_

"Wow.. Uhm, first organize them by the times they were ordered. Then organize them by priority. Such as, if one is for a future order, it's not as high of a priority as an order they want now or within a couple of hours."

"Okay."

I watch Claude pick up random tickets, he examines each one before placing it randomly on the table until they're all laid out.

Looking up at me, he seems a little confused, almost like he's questioning if he did it right.

Stepping forward, I slowly examine each ticket, ensuring they're in the right order before nodding to my boyfriend.

"That looks good, so what are we making first?"

"Triple layer red velvet cake with cheesecake frosting and pink roses."

Nodding again, I smile.

"Well, then we should probably get started."

* * *

_Hey, I just wrote this, and this is crazy, but I worked really hard, so review it maybe?_

_~Sebastian_


	29. Chapter 29

_Ah it's almost midnight butttttt I really wanted to put out another chapter tonight. I don't really know why... Haha anyway! It's almost midnight here so I'm going to bed after this! But I do hope you guys enjoy this chapter! 3_

* * *

Claude's desk is pushed against mine. Bent over our combined desk, I point my pencil at the third problem on our sheet.

We had been given an assignment where we are allowed to work alone or in groups, this is good considering Claude isn't the best at Advanced Algorithms.

"If it doesn't have any negative edges then you run repeated Dijkstra's.."

Claude frowns, rubbing his face he leans back in his chair and stares at the ceiling, clearly discouraged.

"I shouldn't have signed up for this! I should've stuck with level math like pre-calculus or something!"

I lean back as well, my eyes study a dejected Claude as I try to figure out what to say.

Claude certainly isn't horrible at the class, but I don't think it's really his thing either.

_'I just don't think he's interested in it at all...'_

"Then... why did you? I mean, you've done pretty well so far.. You're passing with a high 'B' aren't you?"

Claude lets out a snort, a smile crosses his face as his eyebrows furrow together.

"Pure dumb luck, and hours of studying. That's all. And it was my parents, they wanted me to have this_ advanced_ education but I didn't want to do private school or anything like that even though they pushed it pretty hard."

"Why did they want that?"

I twist my pencil between my fingers, the other students pay us no mind as we side track from our assignment. It's a welcomed break to be honest, this class bores me to death.

Claude sighs again, turning his head to me, a frown holding his lips down now.

"My dad's a software designer, my mom's a lawyer. They're sorta into the whole _advanced education_ thing."

"Oh... Well if you want, I'll still tutor you.. I mean.. only if you want me to."

Leaning forward, Claude half smiles at me before glancing back to the worksheet on our desk.

"That'd be cool, I definitely need the help with graduation coming up and all plus my AS-.." Claude abruptly stops talking and looks away.

"AS- what?" I ask a little curious and confused.

"Nothing, sorry. So can you show me this problem again?"

Staring at Claude, I can feel my mind racing as it works to try and figure out what he was about to say.

I can't shake the feeling that something is off, but I shrug it off.

Holding my pencil properly, I point to the problem as I explain it to Claude again.

* * *

I keep my head down as I walk, my eyes stare at the ugly carpet and my shoes.

I can hear random students yell out at me but I ignore them.

"Where's your boyfriend?"

"Faggot."

"What a freak."

"He's so weird."

The anxiety wells inside me, my fingers instinctively move to my pocket only to find it empty.

_'How do I cope now?'_

It's been so long since I've had to deal with problems in a healthy manner, I've forgotten what that means.

_'My razors are all I know..'_

I can't deny the anger that pulses through me, I'm angry that Claude took my only coping mechanism, and I'm angry for being angry about that.

_'He only did it because he cares.'_

My reasonable side knows this, but another part of me doesn't care.

_'He had no right, he doesn't understand at all. I need them, I can't be without them. I have to get more. I have to.'_

Sighing, I decide to pick some up after school, before meeting up with Claude.

_'He doesn't need to know.. I'll keep them just incase.. A safety net..'_

I'm such an awful boyfriend..

As I round the corner, my head collides with somebodies chest causing me to stumble backwards a few steps.

Without looking up, I mumble a 'sorry' only to feel a firm hand on my shoulder, pushing me into the lockers on my left.

"Watch where you're going, fucking faggot."

_'Ash...'_

I don't look up, I don't want to see his face. Ash and his group pass by me, I still feel off about Ash, recently he makes me feel more nervous than usual but I can't pinpoint what that feeling is.

_'The way he's been acting maybe? Usually he would've dragged me off with him for that.. But he let me go.. And yesterday? What was that?'_

The sound of the warning bell rips through the air, the other students begin to hurry off towards their classrooms causing more pushing as they attempt to force their way through the mob.

_'I shouldn't worry about that now.. It'll only stress me out.'_

Upon entering my classroom, I ignore the whispers that follow.

Taking my seat in the back, I extract my spiral from my backpack, doing the best I can to distract myself from any thoughts of Ash.

* * *

I'm doing my best to keep up with Claude, but I'm failing miserably.

I can't run as fast as Claude, my legs feel like jelly as we make another turn on the black track.

Wearing grey sweatshirts and shorts, our entire class runs or walks the track in the cold November afternoon.

A heavy fog hangs in the air, disguising most of the skyscrapers beneath it's thick blanket.

_'It's actually sorta creepy.'_

Claude begins to laugh, casting a grin at me he picks up his pace a little.

"You outta hurry up! You're falling behind you know!"

I frown at Claude wishing I had the balls to flick him off.

"I can't keep up, running isn't my thing!" I'm breathing heavily, my muscles ache beyond what I ever thought possible.

_'Who could possibly enjoy this?'_

"It'll get easier if you just keep up with it! It's not like I could always run like this."

Claude claims as he watches me straining to catch my breath. My entire throat aches, the cold air seemingly freezing up my lungs with each pained breath.

"I have no desire to keep up running. I don't enjoy it. I rather have my arm ripped off." I reply, scowling at my boyfriend.

Claude begins to laugh, his face alight with amusement before he takes off leaving me alone.

"What a fantastic boyfriend." I mumble, slowing myself to a walk as I gasp for air.

Clutching my aching chest, I watch Claude speed around the track, he runs so fast his legs almost appear blurry as he blasts around the other students.

I can't help but feel a small pang of jealousy, as bad as I am at sports, and as much as I truly despise running, I do wish I was more athletic.. More built like Claude.

_'Maybe I should start working out?'_ I think as I begin to consider Claude's previous offer to start running with him.

_'I probably should.. I'm weak, no wonder Ash targets me so much. I must be an easy target.'_

I walk slowly around the track, the cold air feels like icicles slicing into my skin as a gust of wind blows into me.

_'I want to become stronger, when I see Claude's muscles, his broad shoulders and how long not to mention, fast he can run.. I want that.'_

Sighing, I can't help fantasizing about having a body that's more physically fit and threatening.

I have this image in my head, I'm taller, stronger, my shoulders are broad and I'm invincible. It's an image that may be beyond my reach unless I have a growth spurt soon, but it's still an image I'd like to obtain one day.

_'I can't rely on Claude for forever.. He can't always protect me.'_

I essentially want to become more self-reliant, I want to know I'll be okay by myself.

_'But I don't want to be alone. I don't want to lose him.'_

But what would I do if Claude left me? How would I react? My heart begins to pound hard against my chest, anxiety slipping into my veins as the wheels in my head turn and twist.

I love Claude so much, I don't know how I could handle losing somebody else.

_'Like I lost my parents.'_

Shaking my head, I can't help becoming irritated with myself at this singular thought.

_'It's not like when I lost my parents, they died. Claude.. That' wont happen.. I can't compare him leaving me, to my parents dying.'_

Raising my head, I stare up into the grey, overcast sky. I wish so desperately to be enough for Claude, for Ciel, for everybody.

_'I have to try harder, I have to be better. Then I'll be enough.. And maybe... people won't leave me.'_

* * *

Sprawled out on my bedroom floor, Claude and I study for our mid-terms together.

Due to exams coming up, my Aunt had begun letting us off work early to study which works out well since Claude and I can study together.

Our textbooks lay open in-front of us, lying on our stomachs we review the chapters and take the little practice quizzes at the end. Rock musics plays on a low volume from my computer, I can hear Ciel moving around the apartment but I ignore it and attempt to focus on my studying.

Which is difficult considering Claude is laying only a foot from me.

"You're distracting." Claude says suddenly.

"Weird, I was thinking the same thing." I mumble in return, my eyes never leaving the page as I read.

"I think I've read this page five times. I still don't know what it says."

"Why? Focus."

"Yeah, but I can't concentrate."

Looking up from my book, my eyes meet Claude's own brown eyes.

My eyes search Claude's face. It's so perfect, everything about him is utterly enticing like a sinful desire.

"I can't really concentrate either." I admit, dropping my pencil on my book.

"Maybe studying together wasn't such a good idea."

"Yeah maybe not, except I think I've gotten actual work done."

Frowning, Claude sits up and crosses his arms.

"Are you saying I'm not distracting enough?"

A laugh escapes me as I see Claude's obvious pout. He could be so outrageously cute at times, it completely tears me apart.

"I didn't say that, you're distracting but I still get work done."

"Well, let's just see if you can get work done now, Punk."

Crawling over to me, Claude lays beside me before pressing his lips against mine.

It feels like a surge of electricity slicing through my body. The warmth blossoms in my stomach, my heads immediately pleading to touch Claude everywhere.

Claude's tongue pokes at my lips, parting our mouths so our tongues slowly mingle together.

Rolling onto my back, Claude wastes no time climbing over me. His body like a cage holding a willing victim down.

"Sebastian." Claude whispers before our mouths meet again.

A small moan escapes my mouth, immediately Claude reacts, his body seemingly fueled by the sounds coming out of my mouth.

My heart begins pounding mercilessly inside my chest. All I want to do is…. I want Claude..

Claude's lowers onto one elbow, his free hand sliding over my chest as he begins pulling at my shirt.

Pulling away from the kiss, Claude quickly pulls my cardigan off before swiftly undoing the buttons on my shirt. I'm is blushing furiously, I want to hide, but I also want Claude much more than that.

His hands slide over my bare chest, gliding over the smooth skin, Claude's hardness is blatantly visible beneath his jeans which only turns me on even more.

Pulling his shirt over his head, Claude tosses it onto my bed before leaning down, pressing his bare chest against mine.

Sliding his hand underneath himself, his fingers unbutton my pants, sliding the zipper down he wastes no time slipping his hand inside.

"Ngnhhh." I moan as Claude's hand wraps around my hardened cock.

I can feel the warmth of Claude's firm hand through the thin fabric of my boxers, my heart begins to pound harder, the anticipation slowly building as my own hands slide over Claude's back, winding around his ribs and down his stomach.

"I want you so bad." Claude breathes as I fiddle with the button on his jeans.

"I want you too." I whisper, embarrassed.

Claude's sits up, undoing his pants he stands up and pulls them off, before dropping to his knees and pulling my pants off. I can't help but be surprised by this action, I hadn't expected it, it seemed rushed but I didn't want to question it.

_'Because this mean's he wants me as badly as I want him, right?'_

Claude stops, his eyes sweeping over my body causing me to grow even redder.

Claude looks just as perfect as always, his perfect skin, his muscles and his enormous cock nearly bursting out of his boxers.

"I love you." Claude whispers, his hands falling to my hips giving me goosebumps.

"I-I love you too."

Claude's hands pull at the thin waistband of my boxers, slowly, he slides them off, dropping them behind him.

I close my eyes, my embarrassment peaks knowing that Claude can see me.

Completely.

_'Last time it was dark.'_

"Don't close your eyes, I want you to look at me. I want to see your eyes." Claude leans down, I can feel his hot breath on my cock causing it to grow even harder.

Cracking my eyes open a slit, I can see Claude watching me, a smile crosses his face before he slowly presses his lips against the tip of my dick. Clamping my hand over my mouth, I suppress the moan fighting it's way out.

Claude's mouth slowly engulfs my length, the warm, soft, wetness surrounding my aching girth.

"God, Claude." I whispers, not daring to be too loud with Ciel home.

I can see a corner of Claude's mouth lift at the comment, his mouth completely filled.

My dick completely disappears inside Claude's mouth before reappearing as he slowly slides up to the tip again, sucking gently.

"Ahhhhnn, Cla- ahhh!"

Claude's hand wraps around the base of my dick, gently squeezing it as Claude uses the tip of his tongue to trace the tip of my dick.

I can't help but tearing at my chest, I feel like I'm about to explode as Claude mercilessly licks at my swollen cock.

Claude slides his hands underneath my knee's, pulling my legs up he places both on his shoulders much to my surprise.

I suddenly feel Claude's finger gliding over my entrance, his finger slowly slipping inside causing me to squeeze my eyes shut again.

Two fingers slip inside me, slowly thrusting before becoming faster as Claude attempts to stretch me out.

"Ahhnhhgghaa Claude… I'm about to- oh god, Claude. I'm about to-…." I arch my back, Claude's hand releases my dick, his mouth completely engulfing me again as I orgasm into his mouth.

My chest heaves heavily, I can feel my dick twitching as Claude slowly slides his mouth off. The movement of him removing his mouth from my sensitive organ is unbearable, much like being tickled but more pleasurable than that.

Swallowing, Claude leans down to my ear, our chests pressed together as Claude whispers.

"Sebs… Turn over."

My heart pounds erratically as I slowly turns over. Holding myself on my hands and knee's, I can feel Claude's hands on my hips.

"Don't be scared." His whisper echoing through my mind like a coin dropped in an empty room.

"I'm okay." I lie. I'm undeniably nervous even though we had done this just the other day.

_'I feel like I'm still an inexperienced virgin. Claude on the other hand.. He's so confident.'_

One of Claude's hands slides off my hip, I can feel Claude's hardness pressing into me and immediately braces myself.

"Relax, Sebs."

Clenching my hands, I drop my head as I force myself to relax. Claude's dick prods my entrance, I can feel the hunger as he slowly slips inside me, his hand moving back to my hip as he slides inside.

Like electricity pain, excitement and pleasure surges through me.

My mouth immediately opens as a moan escapes. Biting my lip, I try to fight the next moan as Claude's dick completely fills me.

"Ahhhngh you feel just as amazing." Claude groans as he allows me to adjust to his size.

"Don't say things like that." I mumble secretly wishing Claude would move already.

Holding onto me, Claude begins rocking his hips, His dick sliding in and out leaving me craving more.

"Faster."

Claude obliges, gripping me tightly he begins to thrust harder, his dick barely fitting into my tight entrance.

"Nngghh." Claude's dick brushes into my prostate sending a shooting pleasure throughout my entire body. My legs begin to shake, the pleasure is too much for me as my dick harden's again at feeling Claude pounding me relentlessly.

Claude moans as he fucks me. I can tell he's trying to be quiet but it's not working as he bites his lip.

Sweat drips off me, blotting the spiral below me and smearing a word.

"Sebastian, oh…. god… fuck… uugghhh!"

Claude's gloved hands, grip my hips tighter, his thrusts becoming more forceful as he slams into me repeatedly.

Shudders overtake my body, the pleasure coursing through me is becoming unbearable, I can feel it welling up inside me again.

Biting my own lip, I silently moan as Claude's enormous dick twitches inside me with every thrust.

"Fuck, ah, fuck, fuck, Sebastian, I'm going to, fuck, aghhnn."

Claude's fingers dig into my hips, his thrusts become faster before I feel him releasing inside of me.

As Claude releases, I cum again as well, Claude's thrusts become slower, his hips pressing against my ass as hard as he can before slowly withdrawing.

Leaning over, Claude kisses my spine before pulling away leaving me to collapse on the textbook and spirals.

"You okay?" Claude breathes, leaning against the wall.

"Yeah, ah, my hips hurt."

"Sorry, but fuck Sebastian, it's hard to control myself around you."

A smile pulls at my lips as I tries to calm my racing heart.

"It's hard for me too."

_'We definitely shouldn't study together anymore..'_

* * *

_Review, Review, Review, Review... Ah and... don't complain about HOW I shamelessly beg for reviews. This is still my story. XD_


	30. Part One

_Sorry I haven't updated as quickly as usual. Work has been pretty exhausting lately, so I haven't really had time. I was also pulled into the fandom that is Durarara! And quickly discovered two ships that I may write fanfics for. XD Haha who knows? Anyway, he's my annoyingly short chapter._

* * *

My eyes stare up at my darkened ceiling as I lay on my bed wide awake. The condo is quiet, causing me to believe that I'm the only one awake which is no surprise given the early hour.

Stella sleeps comfortably on my stomach as I softly pet her. Her fur feels soft beneath my hands, or maybe it's my hands that are rough, I'm not sure.

I had awoken and hour before my alarm due to a reoccurring nightmare, my mind now unsettled by various things preventing me from sleeping.

Worries of Ash, my future career, college and Ciel swim through my brain. I want to sleep, but my mind is alive with thoughts and concerns. I'm buried under the stresses of life, my mind seemingly caffeinated by them.

I don't know what I want to major in. I have no idea what is going on with Ash or why I'm so opposed to him leaving me alone for once.

And I find myself lost for words with Ciel.. He's growing away from me, our once lengthy conversations are now short and sparse. It hurts but he's getting older and surely hanging out with your older brother is stupid to him..

Staring up at my ceiling, I can't help but wonder if Claude is sleeping or if he's lying awake like me.. Wondering where his life will go, worrying about stupid things, and hoping with some shred of doubt that everything will work out.

Except that's not how real life works and everything can't always just 'work out' because you want it to.

Sighing, I softly pet Stella who quietly sleeps, her body feeling hot on my stomach.

_'Stella.. Who has no worries other than when I'll feed her or pet her next...'_

With graduation, comes more than just exams. Graduation brings some semblance of freedom slightly shrouded by reality which forecasts more school, work and responsibility. Graduation brings more decisions, more changes and the demand to grow up, to follow the right path.

Sometimes I wish I could go back to elementary school when everything was easy, start over and do everything right.

But I know that running away, or holding silly wishes to change my present day is a wasted thought.

But I still have the future, I still have today. I can start now, I can start building my future properly and ensuring my happiness.

_'I could I do that alone? Without Claude?'_

I don't know..

Before Claude showed me how happy I could be, I lived life day-do-day.. Not really living so much as just following the motions.

But now..

Could I make it on my own?

Closing my eyes, I stare at the blackness behind my lids. I'm so pathetic to be so dependent on Claude. I need to change that, to stand on my own two feet.

_'But how?'_

This is something I'll have to work on. I decided before not to give up. I can't allow myself to disappear, to fade away fro any reason because Ciel needs me no matter how old he is.

Confidence may be one of the many things I lack, but I can try to gain it.

And maybe on my own, maybe without Claude's help, I can become the person I should've always been.

I feel so overly motivated at the moment. A small part of me questions the reasoning, I realize it's likely short lived motivation and that I'll wonder what I had ever hoped to accomplish later, but for now, I want to enjoy this determination to be a stronger person. Because I desperately wish I was stronger for myself and for my brother.

The light vibrations of bass combined with guitar and drums slips through my walls and into my ears.

_'Ciel's awake..'_

Lifting Stella off my stomach, I can feel her warm body tense as she stretches in my hands, her sleepy eyes watching me as I set her on my pillow. Stella wastes no time going back to sleep as I slip out of bed. The life of a cat must be pretty nice, just eating, sleeping, and sleeping some more.

Stretching my arms over my head, a quiet yawn escapes me as I cross my room to my door, dreams of a shower playing in my head as I head for my bathroom.

After my shower, I quickly change into jeans and a white V-neck with a blue cardigan. My brown pants sit low on my thin waist, held up by a black belt with a plain silver buckle. I could feel the bagginess of the jeans, I can't help but wonder if I've somehow lost weight regardless of the fact that I've almost completely stopped restricting and purging as often as I was.

'_Maybe I should borrow a jacket from Ciel.. Just for walking to school.. I doubt my cardigan will be enough..'_

Crossing my arms, I walk over to my closet and pull it open to expose the mirror hanging on the door.

Staring at my reflection in the mirror, I can't help but criticize myself for the slights that I dislike.

_'Maybe I should start running with Claude, It's not like I'm in even decent shape... and I should go buy a new jacket instead of putting it off, especially since it's likely to snow this year..'_

I stare at my reflection for a few minutes more before deciding that I should probably go get that jacket from Ciel.

Closing my closet doors, I cast Stella a glance. The small grey kitten slowly blinks back at me before yawning and curling up again. "Bye, Stella." I smile before exiting my room.

After knocking on Ciel's door, I can faintly hear him tripping over things in his room, relinquishing small curses under his breath before opening his door.

A disheveled Ciel looks up at me, his eyepatch sloppily tied and crooked.

"Yeah?" He asks, brushing his fingers through his hair.

"Can I borrow a jacket?" I ask, my eyes looking past Ciel and at the mess in his room.

"Yeah, one sec. I think my blue one is clean."

Ciel disappears into his room, I can see his desk, littered with pencils, pens and pastels.

Along his floor are wadded up papers, clothes and some video games.

_'When did Ciel turn into such a slob?'_

Ciel reappears holding a blue jacket out to me.

"Here, and stop gawking at my room. I know it's dirty, I'm trying to finish a drawing and I was playing video games with Alois last night."

Smiling, I nod at my little brother before extending my hand and patting him on the head.

"You shouldn't stay up too late, and show me your drawing when it's finished."

Ciel frowns up at me, scrunching up his shoulders until I remove my hand.

"I'll be ready in a few minutes." He mumbles before closing his door.

Ciel is almost always grumpy when he wakes up, he's been like that ever since I can remember.

* * *

Ciel smiles as he exuberantly tells the story of how Alois gained a massive kill streak by essentially annihilating and entire enemy team on Call of Duty.

"And he didn't die once! Isn't that amazing! He's so much better than I am at that game!"

Laughing, I can't help but wonder exactly how late Ciel was up last night.

"If you keep playing I'm sure you'll get as good as he is."

I smile and nod as Ciel uses hand gestures to demonstrate just how amazing it was. I had noticed a slightly decline in my brothers mood lately, so it's refreshing to see him acting like this.

_'Happy..'_

Happy again, it's nice to see Ciel happy again.

As we cross the street, Ciel looks up at me with a small smile.

"You wanna play video games with me tonight? Like we used to? We can get a bunch of junk food and soda and just have a marathon!"

Almost immediately, memories play like a movie through my head. Back when our parents were alive and everything was normal, Ciel and I would play video games every weekend and of course I would let him win every time to see his smile. But also because when I won, Ciel would cry.

Sadness tinges my mind at thoughts of my parents. I want to forget, to be away from the dark clouds which loom. But I'm afraid to relinquish the memories, the feelings.

I feel like it would make my parents sad, to be forgotten.

A cold wind slices through the air, I pull the jacket tighter around my thin frame as I feign for any warmth I can get.

As we come up on the school, my eyes scan the building. I don't want to go, but knowing I'll get to see Claude is all that keeps my feet moving towards the brick building.

Sliding my eyes over to Ciel, I can see his hands tightly clutching the straps of his backpack, his eye falling to the ground before sliding up to meet mine.

"A friend is waiting for me, I'll walk with you after school though."

A false smile plays on Ciel's lips. I'm aware that he despises having to part ways before reaching the building, but I can't risk Ciel getting bullied because of me.

_'I have to protect him, even if this is all that I can do..'_

I watch Ciel as he quickly crosses the courtyard to the steps of the school. Immediately I notice a girl around Ciel's age with long blond hair, standing and waiting.

A little surprised, my lips turn up in to a smile, I had expected Alois to be waiting.

I can't help being a little curious of this girl. Could it be... Ciel.. Has a girlfriend?

My smile grows wider at the thought of my cute baby brother having a girlfriend. I've never thought Ciel to be like me, but Ciel had never openly expressed interest in women either. Relief flows through me, a surprising feeling. After being bullied merely for my sexuality, it's almost comforting to know that there's at least one thing Ciel won't be bullied for.

Crossing the courtyard, I keep my eyes drawn to the ground as I walk. My hands gripping the straps of my backpack as I ignore every whisper and insult, I ignore it all. I focus on thoughts of Claude, he makes all of this worth it, no matter how bad it gets.

_'The way he smiles when he's nervous..'_

Images of Claude's smile flash through my head.

_'Or the way he smells.'_

Claude's cologne is intoxicating. I have no idea what it is, but it's so alluring, it's amazing Claude isn't constantly beating off men with a stick.

_'Or maybe he is... Why's he with a nerd like me anyway? Surely he can do better.. It's not like I've ever been anybodies first pick. Last picked for dodgeball, last picked for groups in class.. So why did Claude.. Pick me?'_

Wrapping my hand around the cold door handle, I pull it open. The thoughts swimming through my mind are quickly drowned out by the roar of hundreds of teenagers all trying to talk over each other. I can't wait to graduate, I'm absolutely not a fan of any loud or crowded places.

Especially a high school full of people who hate me.

_'Silly considering I live in the city..'_

I can't wait to get away from my noisy high school and the annoying people which occupy it. I want to go somewhere else, somewhere where I'll fit in and not be judged, that's all I want.

_'I should have that here..'_

I'm constantly surprised by the way I'm treated at school.

_'Like a freak..'_

A freak for loving men and not women, a freak for my supposed 'abnormality'.

Considering Seattle is mostly a gay friendly city, I don't quite understand why I'm treated like shit at school. What is it about me that makes me in particular a target for them?

I don't bother looking up as I enter my first period classroom. It's so early that I know Claude isn't here yet.

Being the first person in the classroom per the usual, I take my time walking between desks to the back of the room. Dropping my backpack on-top of my desk, I grab the plastic, navy blue seat and plop down in it.

_'At least I graduate next year.. Just seven more months to go.'_

Folding my arms over my mostly empty backpack, I lay my head down and stare out the window.

From my angle, all I can see is another building across the street, it's windows dark, a slight reflection of the overcast sky visible in them.

_'Fall is so depressing here..'_

"Hey, Sebs. You feeling okay?"

Immediately I sit up, almost energized by the sound of my boyfriends concerened voice.

Looking to Claude, I force a smile despite my earlier thoughts and current feelings.

"Yeah sorry, I'm just tired." Scratching his head, Claude gives me a slightly amused smile before taking his seat.

"Didn't sleep?" He asks, ignoring the other students who begin to seep into the classroom.

"Not really... how did you sleep?"

"Probably would've slept better if you'd been there."

A slight blush blossoms across my face as my heart begins to flutter in my chest. I can't help but dart my eyes away in embarrassment.

_'He always knows what to say.. I don't even think he realizes he's doing it.'_

"Don't get all flustered. I was just messing with you." Claude laughs turning his body towards me.

"Y-yeah... I know.." I stutter before meeting Claude's gaze again.

The final bell rings causing the last of the students to quickly rush into the classroom, the screech of desks and chairs sliding over the tile floor fills the room as the nameless, faceless students rush into their seats.

Claude extracts his spiral notebook from his backpack before turning back to me again.

"You wanna get some sushi with me after school? There's a place on Seventh Ave that's really good."

"Conveyor belt?" I question, pulling out my own spiral.

"Yeah, is that a problem?"

In all honesty, I love conveyor belt sushi and just the thought of going on a late lunch date with Claude sounded amazing.

"Yeah that sounds like fun. I'll let Ciel know, he was going to walk home with me.. You don't work today though?"

"No, one of my rare days off on a week-"

"If you two lovers don't stop talking, I'll separate you."

Our teacher stands at the front of the classroom pointing a pencil at us as she glares.

Claude quickly turns away from me, a hot blush rising to my cheeks as the entire class gawks at us.

Mrs. Vaughn smiles triumphantly before turning to the board and writing out the lesson for today.

I try to pay attention as best as I can, but my thoughts are dominated by dreams of our date later today. It's been awhile since we've really gone out just the two of us, and to say I'm excited would be an understatement.

* * *

_Sorry for the short chapter. This is a two part chapter. So while this one was pretty short, the next one should be annoyingly long. Are you guys prepared for a shit ton of drama? Shit's about to hit the ceiling. x]_

_~Sebastian_


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